PTSD is a weird condition. At least it is for me. The more I learn about it, both from my own experience of it and how veterans have experienced it I am amazed. Most of us relive trauma, experience depression, anxiety, rage, pain, nightmares and other manifestations of PTSD. The more vets I meet who are experiencing these outward manifestations, those receiving treatment and those who are afraid to seek help, the more I am concerned about the health of our military forces. Likewise I am concerned who have served but have either returned to the reserves, National Guard or civilian life with little or no follow up by the military or VA. The unknown part of this is what are the long term effects of PTSD on our force. Several things are concerning. The rise in suicide attempts and completions, especially in the Army which hit an all time high last year is especially concerning. Expanding numbers of incidents involving current service members with PTSD including criminal acts, alcohol and drug abuse, DUI offenses and broken marriages attest to the fact that there is a problem. I am afraid that at the present time we have just scratched the surface. Experience shows that many who suffer from PTSD do not go into serious distress for many years. They are able for a while to bury their pain, often “self medicating” with alcohol and drugs until finally they either seek treatment or are forced to seek treatment. This was often the case with our Vietnam vets, many of whom are still suffering forty years after the fact.
Part of the problem lies in the bureaucratic systems that veterans deal with on a daily basis. Systems that often cause them further harm. I know of an officer who has both PTSD and TBI, this officer has been put through the ignominy of of telling his story for the first time numerous times to multiple “caregivers” and been often treated as if he was there to support the needs of contractors, and congressional mandated agencies, rather than for them to assist him. Another serviceman that I know came back from the Middle East with several hundred combat missions, a Purple Heart and Bronze Star for Valor and meritoriously advanced in rank. When he returned to his unit his life fell apart due to his PTSD. He got in trouble and rather than seeing that this hero got treatment his command reduced him in rank and tried to have him put out of the service. Thankfully another command saw the injustice, recognized the PTSD and both helped him and are working with him to clear his name and restore his rank. I know of another officer who not only has PTSD but a irreversible lung condition acquired in Iraq which will eventually kill him. This officer has been shunted aside by his service and for many months was treated by his service’s medical department as if he were a malingerer before after my urging he went higher in the chain of command. He finally did get some medical help, but has experienced a distancing by others in his service. He is expecting to be medically retired despite being a winner of two Bronze Stars in two consecutive deployments, the last where he had to be medivac’d from Iraq to the States because of the severity of his condition. I have met medical personnel who suffer PTSD from dealing with trauma incidents and dying soldiers in forward medical facilities. I know what that is like, praying with, holding the hand of wounded or dying servicemen and anointing them was far different for me than my work in a civilian trauma center. These were men who wore the same uniform as me who were operating in the same places that I traveled when they were hit. I can still see those young men, their wounds, burns, faces and even tattoos.
Those who deal with PTSD never really know when they will get weird. For me large crowds at almost any place other than a baseball game can put me into a panic. Even church is hard and I’m a priest and chaplain. When I am really stressed or tired, have had nightmares or anxiety I can feel what can best be described as a low level electrical current running through my body. I woke up Sunday morning like this and needed to take an extra dose of my anti anxietymedicine, I had the same thing this morning. When we had fires that burned in the Great Dismal Swamp, the color of the sky and smell sent me back to Iraq. That was one of the events that brought me to seek help. I got up, walked out the door, saw the sky and smeeled the smell and had to try to remind myself that this was Virginia Beach and not Ramadi. Other smells, sights and sound can either provoke a startle response or anxiety attack. Cow pastures and sewage treatment plants do this to me. I talk with others and they have the same sensation. If I hear a UH or SH-60 helicopter I am back in Iraq as the UH-60s in our area were used for only one purpose, that of MEDIVAC. Sirens do this to me too, Iraqi police, fire and rescue use American vehicles with American sirens. From what I hear from others as well as my therapist.
These are just some of the stories that I have heard or experienced myself. PTSD is for real. I will continue to add my voice to support my brothers and sisters who suffer from PTSD, those from the current wars as well as past wars.
The Inglorius Padre Steve's World 