Just a quick note this evening in between tragedies here at the Medical Center, taking a few minutes off my feet and clearing my mind. What I have been thinking about in relationship to last week and some events this week with people that I know, what kind of stuff we bring back from war. I know that I have changed a lot and I know many others who have gone through those life changing situations. It seems that many of us have stuff that we continue to deal with long after the event. It is though the war is not over for us. We have left something behind and at the same time something left incomplete. I was told by one person that for our minds the war is still raging. We haven’t had any victory parades this time, nothing like WWI, WWII and the First Gulf War. We are are still there as much as we are here.
I wonder how many of the suicides experienced by our active duty force and former military members who served in these recent wars, and I will throw in Vietnam as well, have some form of PTSD, Combat Stress, Operational Stress or Traumatic Brain injury. There are some studies that indicate that PTSD may actually be the result of damaged neuro pathways in the brain and not simply an emotional or psychological issue.
I wonder how many of the suicides, unexplained single vehicle accident deaths and other violent acts committed by otherwise law abiding and honorable men and women are related to PTSD or one of the other processes that I mentioned. I see a lot of people who have had depression, suicidal gestures and attempts, legal problems and disciplinary problems and damages family lives who when I talk to them have all seen time in Iraq or Afghanistan and almost all still struggle.
For me I have my ups and downs which sometimes are overwhelming and the pain does not go away. I hate going to bed, it is perhaps the worst time of day for me, I can actually feel the anxiety and it takes a long time to get to sleep, sleep which often is restless or full of dreams and sometimes disturbing images. I do pray that one day I will go to bed in peace without anxiety. I know so many others who are like this it is not funny. Being hypersensitive, hyper vigilant, tense, anxious, depressed and feeling rage is so common. It is scary, for us and those that we love. These are our “demons.”
One of the things that most people I have talked to is isolation and being disconnected from family, community and even faith. The feeling of being alone is one of the greatest contributors to the problem. If you know a vet or current active duty member who is struggling let them know that you care. Don’t try to fix them or try to pray them out of it. Just be there for them. They may not let you into their world right away but just knowing that someone cares and is willing to be there for us is enough. I do weird things now, and I know others who do as well. For us this war may never be over and we need to know that we are still part of this society, part of family, part of community. If you are a leader in a military unit and have service men and women struggling, please, give them a chance, don’t abandon them when they don’t do as well as they used to. I have mentioned in some of my other posts that I went through on my return from Iraq I won’t rehash those in this post, but I will say that is was the knowledge that my command supported me and valued my work when I came to Portsmouth Naval Medical Center, even when I was pretty down that has started me on a path to doing better. Please take the time to listen and care even if you can’t fix someone. It may be the one thing that keeps them from committing an irrational act that kills or harms them or someone else.
Keep us all in your prayers,
Peace, Steve+
The Inglorius Padre Steve's World 