Category Archives: Just for fun

Why Johnny Can’t Read Maps: NCAA Tournament Geography for Dummies and a Solution

I love the NCAA College Men’s Basketball Tournament.  It is the only time of year that I will even watch basketball since like football and other sports it is simply another heretic sect compared to the one true religion, the Church of Baseball of which I am a confirmed member of at the Harbor Park Parish, Section 102, Row B, seats 1 and 2.  I have really liked this year’s tournament since none of my alma maters are in it and I am rooting for underdogs and many have won…God Bless Northern Iowa, St Mary’s, ODU, Cornell, Ohio and all the others who have knocked off the big programs in the first two rounds.  A usual I failed to complete a bracket sheet but if I had if would have looked something like the “Sweet Sixteen” does now except there would have been no number ones left, maybe even not any number twos. But hey…it’s only a game as compared to baseball thank you.

Now my purpose is not in talking about the games, the teams or the tournament itself.  Instead it is to express my bewilderment at geographic ignorance and maybe incontinence of the NCAA committee’s knowledge of geography in regard to the so called “regions.”  I mean this is insane.  What are we teaching the next generation?  That Providence Rhode Island in the Midwest and Spokane Washington is in the South?  Is this not insane? Are we not living in a society people?

Now please do not take offense and call me a sociopath.   I am not a sociopath I was a History major and have a Master of Arts in History as well.  But as a mere historian I did gain a slight appreciation of Geography, even that to the good old USA despite focusing on Europe and the Pacific.  For a fact I know that Providence Rhode Island is in New England which happens to be in the Northeast. I know this because I have been there and spent a decent amount of time going to Navy schools in Rhode Island.  Likewise I have lived in Jacksonville Florida which is in the East but would really be considered part of the South and to cover their bases the NCAA committee has in both the South and the East. Buffalo is in both the West and the East which kind of makes it schizophrenic.  Of course then there is Spokane Washington which according to the NCAA is in the Midwest.  Last time I checked it is WEST of the Rocky Mountains in the wasteland o eastern Washington but very much in the Northwest.  Milwaukee Wisconsin is EAST of the Mississippi River which it means it can’t even be considered in the West even the Brewers are in the National League Central Division.  Heck, the last time New Orleans was considered to be in the West was about the time of the Louisiana Purchase.  San Jose is definitely in the East, the East Bay….give me a break San Jose is like 25 miles if that from the Pacific Ocean.  To further confuse the issue Providence and Spokane are also in the South Region.

Now what is this saying to the youth of America?  I’ll tell you what it says…it says that the NCAA committee that put this mess together doesn’t know anything about geography.  They are turning the minds of our young people into tapioca pudding (looks like gelified brains.) However, I am not unaware that the placement of games is not to be geographically correct but to make money.

In an attempt to be a “uniter” and not a divider I have a proposal.  Instead of calling them regions we call them divisions and name them after great coaches such as John Wooden, Dean Smith and Bobby Knight that way any city can be in any division and geography would not matter.  People could go wherever they want and not corrupt the minds of our young people.  What’s next these kids will be driving willy-nilly all over the country trying to get some place that they have no idea where is. Think of the repercussions for UPS, FEDEX and the USPS…if these kids grow up and go a career in delivery industry we will never get anything.

Until the current system is replaced it will be simply madness….it’s madness I tell you…we’re going to have to set ludicrous speed…I’m mad as hell and I’m not going to take it anymore…Joey, do you like movies about gladiators?  Concentrate… concentrate… I’ve got to concentrate… concentrate… concentrate… Hello?… hello… hello… Echo… echo… echo… Pinch hitting for Pedro Borbon… Manny Mota… Mota… Mota… Joey, have you ever been in a… in a Turkish prison? It’s the same old story. Boy finds girl, boy loses girl, girl finds boy, boy forgets girl, boy remembers girl; girl dies in a tragic blimp accident over the Orange Bowl on New Year’s Day…  Auntie Em, Uncle Henry, Toto! It’s a twister! It’s a twister! If this is Tuesday this must be Belgium…No, it’s not what you think. It’s much, much worse! … Would you like another schnitzengruben? …. Soylent Green is people, its people! …. Now I don’t have to tell you good folks what’s been happening in our beloved little town. Sheriff murdered, crops burned, stores looted, people stampeded, and cattle raped. The time has come to act, and act fast. I’m leaving….All right, you win. You win. I give. I’ll say it. I’ll say it. I’ll say it…. DESTINY! DESTINY! NO ESCAPING THAT FOR ME! DESTINY! DESTINY! NO ESCAPING THAT FOR ME! ….Oh, cut the bleeding heart crap, will ya? We’ve all got our switches, lights, and knobs to deal with, Striker. I mean, down here there are literally hundreds and thousands of blinking, beeping, and flashing lights, blinking and beeping and flashing – they’re *flashing* and they’re *beeping*. I can’t stand it anymore! They’re *blinking* and *beeping* and *flashing*! Why doesn’t somebody pull the plug! Serenity now!

Lots of Laughs to you,

Peace,

Padre Steve+

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Filed under Just for fun, purely humorous

Padre Steve’s Favorite Love Songs…Happy Valentine’s Day!

Since today is Valentine’s Day I have decided to reminisce about the love songs as well as songs about love lost that I grew up with in the 1970s and 1980s.  There was something about the music of the time that made these songs pretty much timeless.  They were written about love, with feeling and soul. Some were hauntingly powerful in the emotions and images that they could engender.  Since back in the day technology is not what it is now most of us grew up with these songs on Top 40 type AM radio stations, listening to them on our 8 Track players, cassettes, LPs or 45 RPM records.

I’m sure that if you were like me back in those days there were days that you would sit on your couch, bed or front seat of your car with your significant other, snuggle and look dreamily into one another’s eyes as the songs that touched you played.  There were also times after break-ups, arguments or misunderstandings that you thought were going to kill the relationship that some of the sad songs were there to share your misery with.

Back in those days when for the most part you could still understand the words of the songs regardless of the musical style without every third word being the “F-bomb,” something about killing someone or deeming women in some ungodly fashion, the songs still inspired hope, even when as Elton John sang “when every little bit of hope is gone, sad songs say so much.”

Of course these are my favorites and I know that for those of my generation you will have your own while some of the younger folks may never have heard any of these unless their parents of my generation like me won’t stop playing them.

Of the singers of the 1970s and 1980s Barry Manilow probably wrote and performed more top 10 love songs than about anyone.  He was a heartthrob for a lot of the girls that I went to school with who many wore Barry Manilow T-shirts. My favorite of his love songs is Somewhere in the Night and this video is from back in 1978. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uj8eqkRGJIo Of course Manilow had tons of others including Ready to take a Chance Again which was featured in the classic comedy with Chevy Chase and Goldie Hawn Foul Play and Daybreak which are in this concert medley: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2KjmJnEV8ck

Olivia Newton-John who many of guys had the “hots” for had a hot called I honestly Love You http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6zGLSnZGZts She would go from “sweet to hot” in the 80s with Physical which dealt with some of the more steamy aspects of love and lust and yes this song was voted the “hottest and sexiest song” this year.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ow1gS3m1ckM


The Carpenter’s whose songs were so beautiful and haunting had a lot of love songs and some really sad songs like Goodbye to Love http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nooeMrCws-A Of course Karen would die tragically from complications due to her struggle with anorexia and seemed always to have a sadness about her during her life.

Lionel Richie was another artist who churned out hit after hit love songs.  The one that I will always remember is Still and Lady. These are songs that Judy and I listen to a lot. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZZBSruHC-1c


Dionne Warwick made a comeback singing songs written by Lionel Richie including I’ll Never Love this Way Again http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2mI89NGdf5M


Another artist who made a mint off of love songs was Anne Murray a country crossover to the pop charts with the hit You Needed Me http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q-tJBsOsboM

while Kenny Rogers hit the charts with a duet with Sheena Easton called We’ve got Tonight

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ogWcJeV7r4Y&feature=related


Neil Diamond had a lot of love songs, the one that strikes me the most is September Morn http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_cPSts6KMbs

while John Denver hit the charts with Annie’s Song http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HkGS263lGsQ and Follow Me http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H6GAa8_5nRA


Abba had many love songs with Chiquitita http://video.libero.it/app/play?id=5689d25ebf91922e45a5d14a69fd4833 The Winner Takes it All http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=92cwKCU8Z5c and Knowing Me Knowing You http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iUrzicaiRLU&feature=channel telling stories of love and loss.

And finally for me there was Blondie whose up tempo Dreaming http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yIjxGKLTADE is still one of my favorites.

For those who are sad this Valentine’s Day here is Elton John and Sad Songs Say so Much http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RH276U5PiGQ and I Guess that’s Why they Call it the Blues http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RH276U5PiGQ


I could go on but will stop here. Feel free to link any of your favorites in the comments. Have a Happy Valentine’s Day!

Peace

Padre Steve+

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Filed under Just for fun, music

Heaven, Hell, Purgatory, Heck and Helven…Choices for Eternity

I was reading the comics yesterday when I found this great Dilbert.  I have loved the strip for years and some of the funniest strips for me have been those dealing with religion and spirituality.  Be it Saint Dogbert and his “Out out Demons of Stupidity” or Phil the Prince of Insufficient Light who rules over “Heck” with his pitch-spoon where people are “darned to Heck for minor infractions,” I have always gotten a chuckle or even a belly laugh out of them.

Of course many people and religions have different conceptions of the afterlife for both the saved, sometimes known as the elect or the unsaved that are sometimes referred to as the damned.  Without getting into anyone’s knickers I want to just have some fun with what can be a subject of speculation and even controversy.

Of course heaven is the place of the elect and is usually characterized by streets of gold, angels, pearly gates and lots of time around whichever Deity that the religion in question believes in.  Heaven is a good place and probably where you want to be going if you have to spend the rest of eternity, which I am assured sports fans is a very long time.  Now there are variations on heaven. Some religions have different concepts about it and others have looser or tighter rules as to who gets in, everything from the “All dogs go to heaven” of universalists to the 144,000 of the Jehovah’s Witnesses to the real strict fundamentalists of various religions (fundamentalists of all religions tend to be peas in a pod) who are even more select that the JWs.

Some even have different levels of heaven.  To go back to the JWs they have “real heaven” where the 144,000 go and then a perfect earth where the rest of the JWs go to pick fruit and pet animals for eternity.  If you ask me that kind of sucks because it is a works system based around how many people you convert to be JWs.  The thing that would suck is like you thought you had gotten the last of the 144,000 available spaces and someone that you converted knocked you out of the competition.  If you are not a JW forget it, you just get annihilated, not even the eternal punishment of hell to look forward to.  The Latter Day Saints have a cool belief that if you are a super cool Mormon man you get to be God of your own planet while everyone else gets regular heaven and only the really bad people go to hell. Of course some Moslems believe that if you are martyred for your faith you get to have 72 virgins in heaven to have eternal sex with, no mention of what happens to female martyrs but I wonder if their virgins would be the ones with pimples and wearing rape control glasses, Moslem nerds so to speak.  The Hindus have a number of different beliefs but the prevailing trend is that heaven and hell are things to help get you perspective in between periods of reincarnation.  Since the soul is immortal and you keep getting reincarnated this sounds like summer school.  Have you ever noticed that a lot of people who believe in reincarnation believe that they were someone famous in a previous life?  I think that Kevin Costner playing “Crash” Davis in Bull Durham asked the same question to Susan Sarandon but regardless why don’t you hear people say that they were a flea on Napoleon’s horse at Waterloo? In Buddhism the endless quest is to attain Nirvana whose lead singer Kurt Cobain off’d himself.  Actually it is to attain Nirvana but that has nothing to do with Curt Cobain.  Nirvana is a state of nothingness which in my mind is kind of boring if you worked really hard to get things right for a multitude of lifetimes.  I guess that I’m too western and wonder what the payback is for working hard only to end up as nothing.  I am also uncomfortable that there will be no more “me” if I am successful, I like me.  The folks who are Jewish have a number of ideas about heaven and hell that are not too much different than those of Christians except the little fact of who gets in. Now this will vary between the three major groups of Jews from the pretty open minded Reformed Jews, to the Conservative and then to the Orthodox Jews who come in various strains of strictness.  The Reformed folks are pretty open-minded and the more extreme versions or Orthodox don’t think that anyone apart from them will get in.

Now as far as Christians we have a wide number of interpretations of both heaven and hell and to whom might be qualified to be admitted to either location. The Calvinists that are really serious believe in something called double predestination which basically means that people were either saved or damned before the creation of the world.  Not much room for choice in that theology.  There is a subgroup of these folks who sometimes are called Antinomians who believe that since they are saved that they can do anything that they want, any sin, no matter how big and still be saved. Personally I think that is really pretty presumptuous and downright scary.  Then those who are more Wesleyan or Armenian weigh in on the side of choice even including that one can “lose their salvation” after they were saved this is often found in Wesleyan and Pentecostal groups.  A similar stream is found in Catholicism and Orthodoxy, where though not technically losing salvation keeps you on edge wondering if you made it or not until you die.  In Roman Catholicism this might mean that you end up in heaven, hell or purgatory.  There are a wide number of interpretations within the Christian faith other than these but these are probably the most common views and interpretations.

So since I have in a nutshell (you are what you eat) in a manner of speaking have presented what different religions think of heaven and hell I shall move on to some of the interpretations of what this means.

As I said heaven, regardless of the religion is “good” unless of course that your religion does not have one in which case it is what it is.  Of course the opposite is true as well, if you don’t have a hell that can’t be too bad, unless of course you guess wrong which would really suck.  It would be almost as bad as when Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson missed the Rapture.

Moving on the Roman Catholic Church has a doctrine that is called Purgatory.  Now Purgatory much to the disappointment of some is now “junior hell.”  It is a place for the elect, or the saved to go to clean up their act and learn to love Jesus better before getting admitted into heaven proper.  It is a place like being elected to the baseball Hall of Fame you may get elected to the Hall but there is a period of time that you get to wait before the plaque goes up at Cooperstown. Likewise there must be a “Purgatory” because the state of West Virginia is described as “Almost Heaven” which would mean that it is in reality Purgatory. Since that is where my family originally comes from and from where my current driver’s license is issued that I too am headed there?

Map of Hell

Now Hell, with the exception of Hinduism is pretty much universally a place that you don’t want to go, kind of like Detroit.  There are many images of Hell including the best which come out of Dante’s Inferno which should not be confused with Disco Inferno even if you despised Disco.

I like the image of Hell as the “Lake of Fire.”  This conveys to me the image of a lake in the deep south which is painfully hot, overwhelmingly humid and swarming with flies, mosquitoes and other vermin.  I cannot imagine anywhere worse.  Rowan Atkinson has a great skit called Welcome to Hell where he plays the Devil welcoming a fresh group of the damned to the infernal regions. I’ve linked that here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XFGrQMD6Uqc

Now I have already mentioned “Heck” which is ruled by Phil the Prince of Insufficient Light who “darns you to Heck for minor infractions and Helvin the place that souls are outsourced to due to the unionization of the Angels and Demons.   It seems to me that heck is not a particularly bad place however Helvin may not be too great of place to be.  I really don’t want to know how they would give my harp to me.

So anyway, I guess I shall invoke Saint Dogbert to banish the Demons of Stupidity as I go to sleep dreaming of the real heaven where the baseball diamond is the lushest green field with foul lines that extend to eternity.  In this heaven the game never ends and you never get tired.  Not much longer until the earthly baseball season begins again.

Peace,

Padre Steve+

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Filed under Baseball, faith, Just for fun

Groundhog Day, Tapping the Keller Heller and Padre Steve’s Top World War Two Articles

Well today is Groundhog Day and Punxatwany Phil has predicted another six weeks of old man winter. This is something that does not surprise me as I expect to be “chilling” at Harbor Park the night of April 8th when the Tides play the Bulls in their home opener.  Back in 2005 the temperature was 38 degrees at game time with winds gusting to 40 mph blowing in over the center field wall.  Since we have already had a massive snowstorm this last weekend and may get another bout of winter weather beginning Friday I know the cuddly furball is right.  Every day I wake up thanking God for global warming as I can’t imagine how cold it would be without it.  So winter is here to stay for a while and I guess my short cargo pants have to wait until opening day to come back out.  Anyway while at back after trudging back to the office after my 0715 meeting I ran into one of our other chaplains in the hallway near our small Navy Exchange.  I went into the exchange to pick up a bottle of water and some apples and after waiting in line left the exchange to head back to the officer where I ran into the same chaplain in almost the same location.  I asked “didn’t I just see you here?” Since I had just passed him and he was going the other way I thought it was déjà vu all over again.  I followed up my question with the comment “well it is Groundhog Day.”  So once again though not waking to the sound of I Got You Babe I was confronted with the reality of Groundhog Day in the flesh several hundred miles from Punxatwany Phil. C’est le guerre.

Not today’s picture but still fun

Tonight was the tapping of the new Gordon Biersch seasonal brew, a “Keller Heller.” The Abbess and I went there with our 80 plus friend Eileen who is here on her annual trip from Brooklyn back to North Carolina.  Eileen is a good Irish Catholic who remembers bar-hopping with her late husband. She had a blast and folks loved her. Some of the regulars were calling the Keller Heller a Heller Keller when we first tried a version of it at our Stein Club Christmas dinner and voted on the next seasonal. When I heard “Heller Keller” I automatically started calling it “Helen Keller” because if you drink too much of it you’ll go blind.  We tasted brew master Allen Young’s version at a Stein Club get-together last week and it is well worth it.   The hops are from Germany and have been used in the making of the Czech Pilsner Urquell for many years.  They are a bit pricy from what I understand and Allen got a metric ton to do the brew so this seasonal should be around for a while. According the Allen only one other American brewery has used them.  I can attest that the “Helen Keller” is great and well worth the effort to get it.  Of course if you don’t live in Hampton Roads or happen to travel here during the time that we have it you will miss a very good beer.  On a side note the Abbess was inducted into the Stein Club and Greg, a recently retired Navy Medical Service Corps Officer and I provided back-up to the back-up singers at the tapping party.  The good thing was that the music was ‘50s retro and “do-wops” and other such lyrics are not hard to do.  The best part was when we helped out with “Jailhouse Rock” and yes we were dancing to the jailhouse rock, actually kind of reminded me of the Blues Brothers. I guess that there is nothing like a couple of old Navy junior officers to have some fun at something like this. So anyway if you are in Hampton Roads and want a great beer come down to Gordon Biersch at Town Center.  Do I get extra Passport Points for the plug?

So anyway, since I am just kind of rambling right now here are links to my “Top 10 World War II Articles.” I have left off articles that are more composite and only included some Second World War material.

The Ideological War: How Hitler’s Racial Theories Influenced German Operations in Poland and Russia

D-Day- Courage, Sacrifice and Luck, the Costs of War and Reconciliation

Operation “Dachs” My First Foray into the Genre “Alternative History”

Mortain to Market-Garden: A Study in How Armies Improvise in Rapidly Changing Situations

“Revisionist” History and the Rape of Nanking 1937

Unequal Allies: Lessons from The German’s and Their Allies on the Eastern Front for Today

The Paradox of Conflicting Doctrine: The US Campaign in France and Germany 1944-1945

Can Anybody Spare a DIME: A Short Primer on Early Axis Success and How the Allies Won the Second World War

Ein Volk Steht Auf: The German Volksturm, Ideology and late war Nazi Strategy

The Battleships of Pearl Harbor

So as Groundhog Day 2010 ends and we live our own Groundhog Days over the coming year don’t fear, find the humor in it all and remember that somewhere and somehow in this primordial mess that we live in that the Deity Herself still loves you and that God will never leave you or forsake you, even if you seem to be stuck in some hellish place where one day seems just like the last and the last and the last before the last or even the one or one hundred day that was just like it before that. Did that make sense? If not I think what we have is a failure to misunderstand each other.

Peace

Padre Steve+

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Filed under beer, Just for fun, Loose thoughts and musings, Military, national security

New Year’s Resolutions: Is the Resolution Resolutionable?

Let’s Make New Years’s Resolutions Resolutionable the Year!

One of the traditions common with the advent of a new year is the resolution. Typically people will resolve to do something different to improve their lives, such as losing weight, starting an exercise program getting out of debt, having a child, getting a better job, having cosmetic surgery, finding a new love, ditching their old love, founding a new religion and fleecing the flock and a million other laudable goals.  The key question that one must ask when making a resolution is “Is the stupid thing resolutionable?“

You probably are asking “just what the hell is resolutionable?”  Well, I figured that and here is Padre Steve’s test of what is a “resolutionable New Year’s Resolution.” Resolutionable to put in the vernacular is simply a combination of various factors to see if a resolution has a bat’s chance in hell of succeeding.

Question One: The first question that you have to ask yourself is “Will this be good for me?”  If yes give yourself 5 points. If the answer is no subtract 10 points immediately and ask yourself if you are merely stupid or have forgotten to take your anti-psychotic meds.  Obviously if it is not good for you it is not wise.  However it is a free country so no one can stop you from being an idiot unless they get a court order which is unlikely.  Since you are free to do something bad for you and because it is a free country you can continue to take the test to see if you can recover.

Score for this Question: _______

Question two:  Is it reasonably attainable? Is it something that a reasonable person maybe even a coldly logical dispassionate and neutral observer would agree with you is attainable.  Frequently such people are either known as Vulcans or Assholes, on earth most are the latter, but they can be counted on to tell the truth.  For example, you resolve to lose weight.  You weigh 200 pounds, your ideal weight is 180 and you have no health conditions that would harm you if you attempt to lose the weight.  If so a coldly logical, dispassionate person would probably say that this is reasonable.  Now conversely if you weigh 900 pounds and have to have Dick Gregory talk you into having a construction crew knock a hole in your apartment wall to have a crew of firemen with a forklift get you out and want to lose weight, any weight it is unlikely that you will succeed and that it is an unattainable goal unless a plastic surgeon takes a shop vacuum to you.  If it is reasonably attainable give yourself 5 points. If not give yourself nothing, nothing ventured nothing lost.  I hope that wasn’t too harsh.

Score for this Question: _______

Question Three: Does success depend on someone else helping you?  If “yes” subtract 5 points as most people are unreliable, get over it.  If “no” give yourself 10 points because you are at least trying to take control of your destiny. If you are depending on God to make it happen for you subtract 10 points because regardless of what you answered before. Nothing against God, I’m work for him and am a big fan, but you want a miracle and those are rare. Try Miracle Whip instead. To be resolutionable you have to be doing the work, otherwise it’s like cheating.

Score for this Question: ________

Question Four:  Will it cost money or involve significant amounts of time? If it does there is a decent chance that you might actually follow through on it especially if it is a decent chunk of change and not tied up in some crappy piece of exercise gear.  If it does not cost money there is a decent chance that you won’t follow through on it, after all you have made no investment in it and have little motivation, unless your career, a significant relationship or life is at stake.  If the answer is yes give yourself 5 points.  If the answer is “no” and your career, significant relationship or life is not at stake you get nothing.   If your career, significant relationship or life is at stake give yourself 5 points.  If it costs a significant chunk of change or a significant threat to your career, significant relationship or life is at stake give yourself 10 points.  There is nothing like necessity to motivate you to actually stay with the program.

Score for this question: _______

Question 5: Will doing this benefit others?  If it will give yourself 5 charity points, if not take nothing, if it will hurt someone and you know it subtract 50 points because you are probably going to Hell for even entertaining such an idea.

Score for this Question: ______

Now add your points.

If you score 25 or higher your resolution is definitely resolutionable and should by all means be pursued.

If you got greater than 15 but less than 25 your resolution might be resolutionable and has a chance even if not the greatest.

If you got more than 5 but fewer than 15 points you might want to think about another resolution.

If you got less than 5 and since no question is worth less than 5 points you got 0, unless of course you got a bunch of those negative points.  Such resolutions are bound to fail so try something use.

So this year I am going to resolve to lose 20 pounds.

Will this be good for me? Yes. Score 5 points.

Is this reasonable?  Yes since I gained 25 pounds over the summer I should be able to do this. It will happen because I am no longer eating 4-6 Krispy Kreme hot and fresh glazed doughnuts every night before bed and have no underlying medical problems eating health while engaged in a regular program of exercise this is reasonable.  Score 5 more for Padre Steve.

Does it depend on anyone else? Nope, Score 10 more for Padre Steve.

Does it involve a substantial amount of money or time?  Lots of time and as we all know time is money so score 5.  I get added points because if I don’t it could mess up by career and I have two much to lose by not losing the weight.  Score 10 more for Padre Steve.

Finally will it benefit others? Yes maybe not as much as me, but it will at least indirectly help others. Since I’m not greedy I won’t take the 5 charity points.

Padre Steve’s score:  35 which means that this New Year’s Resolution is resolutionable. See how easy that was?  Using this simple test we can all determine the likelihood of a New Year’s resolution succeeding, which if we bother to actually make one is the point right?  So let’s all resolve to make resolutionable New Year’s resolutions this year.

Now I know this isn’t the most pastoral carily way of putting this, but hey, whatever works right? Have a wonderful New Year.

Peace

Padre Steve+

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Filed under Just for fun, Pastoral Care, purely humorous