Tag Archives: hostess cupcakes

November 17, 2012 · 23:57

Stocking the Personal Strategic Twinkie Reserve while the BCS Burns

“There is a box of Twinkies in there. And not just any Twinkies, but the last box of Twinkies in the whole universe. And believe it or not, Twinkies have an expiration date, and pretty soon, life’s little Twinkie gauge is going to go…empty.” Tallahassee (Woody Harrelson) Zombieland 

There are times when after a long and tiring week that the big issues of life are too much to write about. Yes I know there are wars and many terrible things going on in the world. I also know that when I wake up tomorrow morning that they will still be going on.

In the mean time I watched this week in stunned silence as Hostess twisted in the wind before finally announcing that they were shutting down, ending the production of signature lines such as Twinkies, Ding-Dongs, Ho-Hoes, Fruit Pies and Hostess Cup Cakes.

Likewise I watched in fascination as the number one and two teams in the College Football Nation went down to defeat, stunning the bookies and setting up the Notre Dame Fighting Irish Jesus’s into the top ranking. This means that for the first time in more than 300 weeks of NCAA football rankings that Notre Dame is ranker than the rest of the NCAA. While this is news it paled in comparison to seeing my ROTC Alma Mater the UCLA Bruins defeat the USC Trojans or as we knew them as in the 1980s as “Troy Tach.”

I don’t eat much junk food but when I want cakes made with obscene amounts of sugar and preservatives I prefer the Hostess brand. I know that some people prefer Little Debbie or Dolly Madison but for me it was Hostess that was the mostess. I remember having these long lasting nearly indestructible mass produced treats in my lunch box as early as First Grade. I remember savoring every sugary bite as if they were delicacies baked in the finest bakeries for kings and queens.

While I love the Twinkie, I also loved the Cup Cakes, the chocolate ones, with the white filling, and the chocolate icing. Those were amazing. I still eat them the same way that I did as when I was a kid. I eat the cake portion first and then the icing, wrapping it into a roll and savoring it as the massive sugar rush melded with whatever form of caffeine I had had with it.

Though I went out and stocked my own personal Strategic Twinkie Reserve I do have hope that the Twinkie will live on as other manufacturers are already looking to buy the signature Hostess lines. But until they do and production resumes my personal Strategic Twinkie Reserve will remain and I won’t sell my soul.

Peace Love and Twinkies

Padre Steve+

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January 11, 2012 · 23:51

Fill the Strategic Twinkie Reserve Now: Hostess Files for Bankruptcy

It is not enough that war, economic distress, natural disasters, Zombie Apocalypse and threaten us on every side but now true disaster threatens. Yes my dear readers Hostess has filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy.  While the company has announced that “normal operations” will continue the threat is real. The world could possibly find that the leading manufacturer of food designed to survive the Apocalypse may go out of business, or even worse be bought and parted out Twinkie by Twinkie by Bain Capital.

I grew up with Twinkies, they were one of the 5 major food groups of grade school for the sack lunch crowd.  I know that my lunch box always had Twinkies in it, or if not Twinkies another Hostess delicacy such as Chocolate cupcakes with creme filling, or a fruit pie.  My peanut butter and jelly sandwich was made with the softest and freshest Wonder Bread.

While my tastes have adjusted over the years there are times that my mind will wander back to the innocence of childhood and the blissful unawareness of just how bad this was for me.  But back then when we had to walk 8 miles through the mud and rain to go to school without so much as a Walkman and had to actually go outside to play without a smart phone we could burn off all the calories and were energized by the rush created by the combination of pure unadulterated sugar and God knows what else so that we wouldn’t fall asleep in class after lunch. Yes my friends those were the days.

But the world is passing Hostess and the Twinkie by and that could threaten civilization as we know it.  I mean what will we lose next? I tremble at the thought.  Will it be the Zinger? or possibly the Baby Ruth bar?

With North Korea, Pakistan already having nukes and Iran threatening to build them it is imperative that we invest in America and emergency preparedness.  The Congress should approve emergency legislation to preserve the Twinkie and stock the Strategic Twinkie Reserve before it is too late. I don’t know about you but cheap knock offs made by Little Debbie are no substitute for the Twinkie although a Krispy Kreme Chocolate Pie will give the Hostess pie a run for its money…but I digress.  Twinkie production must supported by the Defense Department and Department of Homeland Security. Every MRE should contain a Twinkie and Twinkies should be part of FEMA emergency food stocks to support Hostess like we did in the 1970s when the Federal Government bought almost everything that Chrysler Corporation produced to save the company.

Write your Congressman and tell them to save the Twinkie before it is too late. The future of the country could depend on it.

Peace

Padre Steve+

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