Tag Archives: operation iraqi freedom

August 29, 2009 · 17:04

Leave no Soldier Behind? I think not…A letter from an IOF Vet and Reader

Note: This is the sanitized version of an e-mail that I received last night from a OIF 05 and OIF 07 Veteran Army Officer who has been awarded two Bronze Star Medals for his service in Iraq and was Medivac’d out of Iraq during his second tour when he was diagnosed with an exceptionally rare incurable and eventually  fatal lung disorder that he contracted in Iraq with two separate Brigade Combat Teams.  Since then he has developed other medical conditions brought on by his lack of pulmonary function.   He is in process of being medically boarded out of the Army and is despairing to the point of having suicidal thoughts and ideations, wondering if it would be better for him to die on active duty so his wife and child would have a better financial support than if he waited to die a few years from now as a medical retiree.  I was able to contact this officer to listen to him at length this morning and afternoon. He has agreed to get help for these thoughts and I have given him the means to contact me any time and he has contracted with me to get help, I suggested a trip to his local medical facility Emergency Room.  He has given me permission to share this as he no longer feels protected enough by the Army to say it on his blog.  Please pray for this man and take care of the Combat Veterans, active duty, disabled or retired that you know.   His letter follows.

Peace,

Steve+

Dear Padre Steve,

This is why I am not posting on line…(I would say things like the following…)

I really do not know how much more I can take! I am beaten down, first by my own body and the diseases that are exacting a high price; second by the fight waged to receive some kind of medical care; third by the callus medical care provided; fourth by the institution of the Army attitude and treatment of “broken” people; by how the institution seeks to downplay and disregard the sacrifices of those who have sacrificed so much–by trivializing the toll of the disease–especially when not clearly visible.

Without a thirteen round prize fight the Army will throw me off the back of metaphoric  5-ton and act like they are doing me a favor by slowing down to 55 mph! “Look, you worthless scum-bag, we are doing you a favor by slowing down. Don’t, worry, you should be OK…we will try and get you off to the side so the tank does not role over you…”

The system, and the people within it, constantly questions your “worthiness” of any consideration. Then if you insist  on getting help for things that you know are wrong with you they double and triple question as if there is no way you could be telling the truth.

It is easy to say that I am at my wits end with all of what is going on in my life lately. The constant fight to receive what is necessary right is darning. I have been dealing with this callused indifference since being Medivac’d in the middle of my second Iraq tour. The system seems to be designed to wear you down so that rather than continuing to fight for the care that you need, just take what little the Army is willing to give.  I found out this week that after I am med-boarded out of the service that I will have to fight the Army all over again to be able to keep my Army benefits when I apply to the VA.  This is happening despite the fact that the Congress recently allowed for this compensation for veterans.

Will justice EVER be given? At what price?

Does the “Army” GIVE A DAMN!? The short answer is NO! There may be some individuals who do. What is experienced is the Teflon affect. Not many, if any, are willing to get dirty and fight for or on behalf on another. People end up getting treated as paper and numbers–not the individual they are, or for the sacrifices they have made. The individual is trivialized through the bureaucratic process that most involved in processing hide behind to separate them from the reality and often pain experienced by those suffering in the system.

I have recently started trying to get help from my PTSD.  A board certified Army physician that I wrote a consult for me to see someone.  I was contacted and told that the people who run the program here no longer take appointments or consults and that I would have to be “triaged” by a medical or psych tech to get an appointment that might be 3 months from now?  I might be dead by then. I don’t feel safe.

People may listen, but they usual will not, cannot, or do not know what to do. So trying to get help is like trying to find a particular molecule of water in the ocean.

This process SUCKS. It is worse than my first, very trauma filled, combat tour in Iraq (OIF 05-07). It is demoralizing. I squarely wish I had lost my legs them the lung function that I have lost!

I am an officer with TWO BRONZE STARS for my Iraq service.  I gave all that I had and my honesty, integrity and faith in the Army that I joined is being called into question.  If it is happening to me, what is happening to junior personnel? Who is their advocate? Is it any wonder that soldiers are committing suicide and unheard of rates?  Shit I have even counted up the money and figured that my family would be better off if I died on active duty than after my medical retirement.  What the hell is up with that? Why should I have to die for the Army to take care of my family?

What do I have to do to be heard? Does God even care? I’m just asking. Thanks for listening.

Sincerely,

Joe Smith (a pseudonym)

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July 4, 2009 · 23:57

Going to War: Interlude July 4th 2007

This is the second installment of my account of my account of mine and RP2 Nelson Lebron’s deployment to Iraq in 2007.

Our mobilization proceeded the next couple of days as we received our immunizations, were issued DCUs and other clothing needed for the deployment.  Nelson and I of course were already well outfitted by our unit, EOD Group Two.  In spite of this we drew additional uniforms, brown t-shirts, socks and a host of miscellaneous gear.  Thankfully as I have mentioned, EOD had outfitted us well including boots of our choosing, not the standard issue boot being provided to the rest of the sailors.  I had a pair of Blackhawks and a pair of Magnum 5.11’s, both much more comfortable than those issued.  Wills and powers of attorneys were drawn up by JAG officers, our “page 2s” the record of who we wanted notified in the event of our demise were verified and updated, new dog tags ordered and a myriad of forms filled out, sometimes for the second or third time.  In the weeks prior we had completed a fair number of online courses on Navy Knowledge Online to orient us to operations, health and safety issues and for Nelson classes on the M-16A2 and M9 Pistol.  The 4th was a day off, probably more for the staff then for 120 or so of us getting ready to go overseas.

After completing everything we needed on the 3rd I went home and Judy and I took in the Norfolk Tides game against the Syracuse Sky Chiefs at Harbor Park.  Before the game I chatted with Tides General Manager Dave Rosenfield and let him know that I would be missing the rest of the season as I was going to Iraq.  Dave is a good guy and since at the time things were not going well, we were experiencing heavy casualties which were being displayed on every broadcast news outlet available to humanity, I could see the distress in his face as he told me to “please take care of yourself and be safe.”   My usher buddy Skip, a retired Navy Chief and a number of vendors, Kenny the Pretzel guy and others wished me well.  As the National Anthem Played that night I stood at attention, my Tides cap over my heart as the anthem was played.  It was one of the most emotional anthems I have ever experienced.  It was not that it was sung by a star or even played that well, but it was that I was going to Iraq to serve in an unpopular war, ordered by a once post 9-11 popular President whose star had fallen because of how Iraq was turning out.  The war was presented as lost and a disaster and here I was getting ready to go after volunteering to go to Al Anbar Province, the most contested and violent part of Iraq.  The surge was just beginning and the Anbar Awakening was yet to be noticed by anyone. Al Qaida Iraq and other insurgents were taking a severe toll in Al Anbar.  I had been told by Chaplain Maragaret Kibben that the mission was to get out bewyond the wire when no one was getting to take care of the advisers.  I imagined being convoys and my vehiilce being hit, and at the same time still knew that I had to go.  Tears were in my eyes as I mouthed the words to the Star Spangled Banner looking at the flag flying above the scoreboard above right center field.  Judy stood next to me.  It was then that some 26 years of service came down to the real world.  Even though I had been to the Middle East numerous times and even served on a boarding team in the Northern Arabian Gulf, this was different.  I was preparing to go “into the shit” as my Vietnam era brothers would say.  In fact I was going out not with a unit, but as the first Navy Chaplain to serve directly with advisers since that war accompanied by the most prepared assistant in the world.  I was pretty sure that I was the most prepared Chaplain for this assignment, I was as ready as one could be for deployment.  I was physically ready, in some of the best shape of my life, I had graduated done everything that I could thing to do to be ready.   I had even  made sure that I read Chapter 5 of the History of Army Chaplains in Vietnam as part of the massive amount of  reading that I did  for the deployment.  Part of this chapter dealt with those men who served in this capacity then.  We watched the fireworks show that followed the game and

The Tides would go on to win the game 4-3 and I would go home with Judy.  The 4th was spent continuing to get ready even though I was theoretically off for the holiday.  There are always checks and double checks to ensure that everything is just right when you deploy.  This was really hard on Judy as she watched me getting ready.  When you deploy, especially to a combat zone there is a certain amount of emotional detachment that most couples go through.  It is a form of self preservation, you tend not to want to ask or deal with the hard questions of what happens if….

Of course Judy had in the previous months insisted that I take on additional life insurance which I did, just in case I would get schwacked in Iraq. I’m rather superstitious and felt that while this was a good move to protect Judy that it might be inviting trouble for me.  We had of course talked a bit about the deployment; I was much more excited than she could ever be.  The lot of the military wife in wartime is to endure her husband’s choice to serve their country in time of war.  As deployments draw closer the emotional distance widens even as emotions deepen.  It is the inverse of what happens when emotions deepen as people come together.  That last 4th of July was one of being alone together even as we went to of friend Pat and Jim’s house for a cook out.  Following that we went home and spent a quiet evening before going to bed.  My DCUs from EOD hung on my closet door as we turned off the light and spent a fitful night sleep.

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June 9, 2009 · 22:13

Saying Goodbye to a Shipmate…Fair Winds and Following Seas Senior Chief Branum

HMCS Pam Branum’s Rules:

Rule 1: Take care of your sailors

Rule 2: Accomplish the mission

Rule 3: See Rule One

chief branum

Today we said goodbye to our fallen shipmate Senior Chief Hospital Corpsman Pamela Branum.  The ceremony took place in our main auditorium at Naval Medical Center Portsmouth.  Needless to say because of the kind of person that she was and the influence that she had in people’s lives was very well attended with sailors coming in from all over the country.  Likewise it was filled with Naval tradition in fitting tribute to this child of east Tennessee who left home to serve her country and died in the line of duty.  It was a memorial service a celebration of life, a promotion ceremony and retirement all rolled into one.  And Senior Chief Branum deserved all of it.  A woman of faith she embodied the reality of her faith in the care of people and her witness to God in thought, word and deed.

The service was interesting.  I have planned, conducted or participated in more or these that I can count. On this one I was deep into the planning until Friday when after a wild and wearying month I finally began to crash.  What finally did me in was forgetting to save the bulletin which I had been working on with Commander Judy for like two hours before I closed the stupid thing out.  I had deleted the thing and both the document and I were done.  It was last nail in the camel. Thank God for Commander Judy and Chaplain Franklin who took over when I hit tilt.

Anyway what was cool about this was seeing all those who loved Pam and the stories that they shared.  Captain Bonnema our acting commander had served with Senior Chief as his Leading Chief Petty Officer at Naval Hospital Pensacola.  His words, filled with emotion were touching and inspiring as he talked about how Senior Chief was what every Chief should be.  The heartfelt genuineness of Captain Bonnema set the tone for the memorial. Others spoke; Master Chief McNulty talked about having Pam as an instructor at Field Medical Service School at Camp LeJeune.  Pam’s best friend Lisa, spoke of Pam’s friendship and example in her life while also talking about Pam as a leader of Sailors.  Another friend, also named Pamela, a retired Chief who has served with her in Kuwait and Iraq during Operation Iraqi Freedom shared some touching and humorous sea stories about Senior Chief.  The two became known as the Ella’s.  They were big “E” and little “e” Ella.  Senior was the Capital “E” Ella.  I guess little Ella hated the Bee Gees and while in Iraq some Marines or Sailors were playing the progenitors of the Disco era at a fairly loud decibel range.  Little Ella complained and sent Senor Chief to quiet them down.  Later, little “e” Ella was invited by senior into a tent before chow.  Little Ella notice that there were too many people in the tent and about that time Big Ella had someone start the Bee Gees.  One of the last things that Little Ella was given from Big Ella, which she got shortly after Pam died, was a CD of the Bee Gees.  Somehow I think that the Deity Herself used Pam to get little Ella one last time.  I guess in heaven that little Ella will get her back.

Chaplain Cynthia Kane from San Diego who will be doing Pam’s memorial in Tennessee tomorrow and her burial in Arlington National Cemetery in August delivered the homily.  Cynthia traveled her at her own expense. Our last couple of memorial services for active duty Sailors at the Medical Center I have done.  Each has been emotionally draining and since I knew Pam better than I knew the others I was relieved when I found out from Lisa that Pam wanted Cynthia to do this.  Pam and Cynthia were deployed to the Medical Facility for the Guantanamo Bay Cuba prison back in 2005-2006.  Pam was the Senior Enlisted Leader and Cynthia, being a Chaplain was naturally the Chaplain.  They also became good friends and as Cynthia said, Pam made her a better officer and chaplain.  Later, when Cynthia was about to lose her unborn baby, it was Pam that she turned to for advice, counsel and comfort.   From personal experience I can say that there are certain Chiefs or Marine Corps Sergeant Majors that I would go to in a crisis of such proportions.  Command Master Chief Gerry Pierce and Sergeant Major Kim Davis would be my “go to” guys. It is truly a remarkable Chief who cares for their chaplain in the chaplain’s time of need.  As a chaplain I can say that this is remarkable.  In our business it is often the case that we have no one to go to when we are not doing well.  I’m fortunate in my current assignment, but this has not always been the case.

Pam was promoted the Senior Chief on the day that she passed away.  She had been selected by the board which had not yet be released and because of the unusual situation the Navy decided to honor posthumously her with the promotion while the command awarded her the Meritorious Service Medal in the same manner.  Both the promotion and the award were read today.  An article about the promotion in the Virginia Pilot online can be found here: http://hamptonroads.com/2009/06/portsmouth-corpsman-died-day-her-promotion

The most touching moment for me was when Lisa read a letter from a Corpsman currently deployed in the Middle East.  The Corpsman had a rough time early in his career. Senior Chief Branum helped not only to save his career but to teach him lessons that made him a better Petty Officer and Corpsman.  The Hospital Corpsman  Luis E. Fonseca Jr. had been in trouble and it was Pam that helped him out.  In 2003 at the Battle of Al Nasaryah during Operation Iraqi Freedom this young man was a hero.  He saved 5 other Marines wounded when their vehicle was hit.  Under enemy fire the young Corpsman organized their recovery under fire and despite taking fire treated them and got them evacuated to safety. Hospital Corpsman Fonseca was awarded the Navy Cross for his actions.  This is the Navy’s highest award apart from the Congressional Medal of Honor.  Now Petty Officer Fonseca’s wife delivered a letter from him to Lisa during the viewing last night.  He credited her with not only saving his career but also credited her with teaching him to be a better “Doc.”  He gave his Navy Cross to Pam.  For a understanding of what the young man did in Iraq please look at this article:

http://www.news.navy.mil/search/display.asp?story_id=14707

The ceremony was concluded by the reading of “I am the Flag” and passing the National Colors from person to person in an honor guard.  In an unusual twist the honor guard was composed of Junior Enlisted Sailors, Petty Officers, Chief’s and even two Nurse Corps Officers.  The flag was presented to Lisa. A similar flag will be presented to Pam’s parents.  After this the benediction was said by yours truly, and I have to admit that I had a difficult time in spite of using the Book of Common Prayer.  I have done a lot of these services and this was the most difficult time doing a benediction that I have ever had.   As I ended the benediction I posted the “Side Boys’ which is a Naval Tradition done in conjunction with “piping over the side.”  This is a rite where a sailor departs his or her ship or command for the final time. The Boatswain piped Senior Chief over the side and I am sure that her spirit made the trip down the aisle smiling and probably joking with her fellow Chiefs, Sailors and Officers who filled the auditorium.  This completed the mournful tones of Taps played by a Naval Bugler ended the ceremony.

As the crowd of friends mingled with each other, shared memories, hugs, tears and laughs, a slideshow of Senior Chief Branum’s life played on the large screen.  It was a fitting tribute to a wonderful person, shipmate, confidant and friend to so many people.   I consider it an honor to have served with Senior Chief Branum even for the 5 and a half months before she deployed on USNS Comfort on which she passed from this life into the next.  I will never forget her cheerful smile and professional manner; even as she helped her sailors conduct field days and work around the ICU.   Her loss will be mourned by many even as with joy people whose lives that she touched share their stories and memories.

SCPO3D

O God of grace and glory, we remember before you this day our sister Senior Chief Hospital Corpsman Pamela Branum.  We thank you for giving her to us, her shipmates and friends, to know and to love as a companion on our earthly pilgrimage. In your boundless compassion, console us who mourn.  Give us faith to see in death the gate of eternal life, so that in quiet confidence we may continue our course on earth, until, by your call, we are reunited with those who have gone before; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

Peace, Steve+

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