Monthly Archives: March 2009

March 23, 2009 · 21:26

God Speaks to Me Through Baseball

I went to Harbor Park to pick up my tickets for the Baltimore Orioles and Washington Nationals exhibition game today.  For me it feels like life is returning, winter in all of its bleakness is ending and spring really is here.  The seats are great, section 102 row A, right behind home plate field level.

For me something sets baseball apart from all other sports.  I think this goes back to my childhood when my dad made me learn the fundamentals of the game and weather we were attending a game in person, watching one on television or playing catch, pepper or practicing infield or pitching dad was all about the game.  Of course he was the same way with football, hockey and basketball, but the sport that he seemed most passionate about was baseball.  As a kid he was a Cincinnati Reds fan.  His mother, my grandmother who hailed from the hollers of West Virginia was a die hard Dodgers fan.  That I still wonder about to this day, but she was the same woman who as a widow in the late 1930s went to work, raised her two boys and bought her own house.  Unlike most of the sate she was also a Republican, long before West Virginia ever voted for for either President or statewide office.  Now that I chased that rabbit down the hole back to baseball.   Granny was a Dodgers fan in a land of Reds, Indians and Pirates fans, fierce and independent but unfortunately taken in by the power of the dark side.  Yet any time you went to Granny’s house and there was a game on, the television was tuned in to it.  We were immersed in baseball.

Dad alsways made sure that we got to see baseball wherever we lived. In 1967 he took us to see the Seattle Pilots which the next year went to Milwaukee and became the Brewers.  In the elementary schools of those days our teachers who put the playoff and World’s Series games as many were played during daylight hours.  I remember watching Bob Gibson pitch when the Cardinals played against the Red Sox in the 1967 series.  It was awesome to see that man pitch.   I remember the Amazin’ Mets upsetting the Orioles in 1969 and the Orioles take down the Reds in 1970.  Who could forget the 1970 All Star Game where Pete Rose ran over Ray Fosse at home plate for the winning run and the great dynasty teams of the 1970s, especially the Reds and the Athletics who dominated much of that decade and the resurgence of the Yankees in the summer that the Bronx burned.

When were were stationed in Long Beach California dad had us at Anaheim stadium all the time.  I imagine that we attended at least 30 games there and a couple at Dodger stadium that year.  We met a lot of the players and I entered the m”My Favorite Angel” contest and my entry was a runner up, netting me two seats behind the plate and having Dick Enberg announce my name on the radio.  I wrote about Jim Spencer a Gold Glove First Baseball who later played for the Yankees.  I still have a hat from that team with numerous autographs on the inside of the bill including Sandy Alomar, Jim Spencer, Jim Fregosi, Chico Ruiz and Billy Cowan.  When we moved to northern California we got to see the A’s dynasty teams including a number of playoff games.  I got to see Ed Halicki of the Giants no-hit the Mets a Candlestick on August 24th 1975.  I got to see some of the greats of the era play, Catfish, Reggie, McCovey, Garvey, Vida Blue, Harmon Killebrew and so many others.  I also became acquainted  with Minor League Baseball at this time through the Stockton Ports, who then were the Class A California League farm team for the Orioles.  I remember a few years back talking to Paul Blair the Orioles great Paul Blair who played for the Ports in the early 1960s about Billy Hebert Field and how the sun would go down in the outfield blinding hitters and spectators in its glare.

As I have grown older my appreciate for the game, despite strikes and steroids still grows.  I am in awe of the diamond.  I have played catch on the field of dreams, seen a game in the Yankee Stadium Right Field bleachers seen games in other venues and thrown out the first pitch in a couple of minor league games.  I am enchanted with the game. The foul lines theoretical go on to infinity, only broken by the placement of the outfield wall.  Likewise unlike all other sports there is no time limit, meaning that baseball can be an eschatological game going on into eternity. The Hall of Fame is like the Calendar of Saints in the Catholic, Orthodox and Anglican Churches.  There are rituals, the exchange of batting orders and explanation of the ground rules, the ceremonial first pitch, players not stepping on the foul line when entering and leaving the field of play, no talking about it when a pitcher is throwing a no-hitter and the home run trot. The care of a field by an expert ground crew is a thing to behold, especially when they still use the wooden box frames to lay down the chalk on the baselines and the batters box.

My kitchen and much of my dining room are as close to a baseball shrine as Judy will let me make them. stevejeffbaseball

Me Twins First Baseman Rich Reese and my brother Jeff at Anaheim Stadium 1970

Since I returned from Iraq the baseball diamond is one of my few places of solace.  For the first time I bought a season ticket to my local minor league team the Norfolk Tides.  Section 102, row B seat 2.  From there I will sit back and imagine the words of James Earl Jones in Field of Dreams :
“The one constant through all the years has been baseball. America has rolled by like an army of steamrollers. It’s been erased like a blackboard, rebuilt, and erased again. But baseball has marked the time. This field, this game, is a part of our past. It reminds us of all that once was good, and what could be again.”

In a sense this says it all to me in an age of war, economic crisis and division.  In a sense it is a prayer. Peace and blessings, Steve+

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March 22, 2009 · 15:53

My Lenten Journey: Community

My Lenten vow was to be happy.  I did not expect Lent to be great but I decided to try and something good has come out of Lent this year.  That good thing is community and it came by surprise in a place that I did not expect.

Community is one of the things that I have struggled with throughout my time as a Christian and especially is a military chaplain.  I have often lived in places for brief periods of time.  Even when I was able to develop some sense of community and support it disappeared when I left.

I am by nature an introvert.  Put me in a room with a bunch of strangers and I can put my Romulan cloaking device up faster than the Enterprise can go to warp. Work is another matter, I push myself hard to be with people in the moment and to be present.  I work in the ICU and Pediatric ICU of a teaching hospital. I do a lot more listening and watching than talking most of the time.  This helps me to have the feel of the environment and know when and how to approach a patient, family member or staff members.  The ICU staff  has become a part of my local family and community.

However, I lacked a local faith community.  I love some of my fellow military priests but most are quite far away.  These are close friends but we are separated by geography and military duties.  We may go two or three years without seeing each other. This week I realized that I really need comunity locally.

My church is very small, maybe 70 parishes in the U.S. with none anywhere near me.  My wife is Roman Catholic. I have a good relationship with her parish pastor but the church is rather large.  With the exception of a few choir members I don’t know many people.  They treat me wonderfully but there is a distance. I am a priest in a communion that is not in communion with Rome, and Rome is cracking down on relationships and activities that would have be okay a few years back.

I looked forward to moving here in 2003.  My church had a local mission parish and there were others within a reasonable drive.  I knew many of clergy. I thought I was home.  I hoped  that I could contribute and make a difference in the church.  Unfortunately the local mission priest was difficult. His parish had not grown in 8 years and at best had 15 people in attendance.  I tried to help but was ignored and grew increasingly frustrated. I confronted him about practices that were in direct violation of his bishop’s policies and he was unapologetic. I reported this to the bishop. Instead of listening the bishop banned me from all contact with priests in the diocese.  At that point I went to ground.  Since I was on the road a lot I figured that I could handle isolation.

Coming back from Iraq was the most difficult adjustment that I have had to make in my life.  Not only did I have PTSD, chronic pain, anxiety, depression and insomnia but my sense of community was destroyed. My church had suffered another major split while I was in Iraq.  Despite my estrangement from the church there was nothing left of it in my area. The former bishop and most of the clergy had left.  Judy’s church is nice but it is large and I am hyper-sensitive to noise, lights and crowds of strangers, so it is difficult to attend. If you have ever felt absolutely alone and abandoned you probably can understand.

In September I transferred to the Naval hospital.  I went to work with a staff that valued what I brought to the table, and took time to care for me.  My therapist always asked “how are you doing with the big guy?”  as I was really struggling spiritually.  Remarkably my work in the ICUs was healing, the support of fellow chaplains was more than I could have asked for, things began to get better but I still did not have that local faith community.

I found that community over the past couple of months.  While working in the ICU I met the pastor of a local Episcopal parish in Portsmouth.  He had two of his parishioners in the ICU one of whom eventually passed away.  But during this time we became friends. He is Nigerian and pastors Saint James, which is the historically African-American parish and invited me to visit.  The parish is a wonderful, it is not large; but the people among the most welcoming of any parish that I have ever visited. Their worship is something that I not only am familiar, but draws me to God.  The hymns were those that I would have picked myself. There is a quiet dignity to these folks.  Many are former military. They feed the homeless, they are involved in the community and they love each other.  They understand God’s grace.  I feel at home for the first time in years.

I find it hard to believe, that for the first time in years I am experiencing the joy of being in community on a number of levels.  I think that God herself might even be happy for me.

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March 21, 2009 · 18:37

Lies and Damned Lies of World Net Daily

I am starting a new category today.  This is the “Lies and Damned Lies of World Net Daily.”  I am only going to focus on comments by that website regarding military matters.  I have noticed over the years that they tend to sensationalize and distort military reporting in regard to their particular political bent.  They and other allegedly “conservative” websites like to bash the “left-wing bias” of the traditional or “mainstream” media but are not unbiased in their own reporting.

The editor of the site, Joseph Farah and one of his chief correspondents Bob Unruh are particularly good at this.  I first noticed their extreme bias when covering the case of a former Navy Chaplain a few years back.  Knowing the case I was appalled at their coverage and actually contacted the reporter concerning the case.  They were both unapologetic and unresponsive.  When I realized that they were not interested in the truth and only in using this unfortunate man’s case to showcase themselves I knew that the supposed “new conservative” media was even more corrupt than the mainline press.   The mainstream press has been no paragon of virtue in reporting about the military based upon my point of view as a career military man and military dependant, but this reprehensible.  This realization about the new media and “conservative media” came hard for me because up until that point I had classified myself as a conservative.  These people have hijacked conservatism and hijacked Evangelical Christianity.

What got me today was a article by the aforementioned Bob Unruh entitled “Military Demands Details on Private Guns: Fort Campbell Command reversed under pressure.”  To read the headline one would think that the Commanding General of the base had implemented a policy.  Playing upon the unfamiliarity of the majority of its readership with the actual organization of the military as well as military policy or military law this writer publishes articles designed to incite and deliberately misinform readers in order to promote their political and social goals.  The actual article was about a single company commander, probably a 25 or 26 year old Army Captain in charge of a 120 soldier infantry company who got in way above his head and demanded information from his soldiers that was not in compliance with DOD or Department of the Army regulations.  The story was not even newsworthy as this young man was likely slammed hard for this dumb decision.  I have been a company commander and at the age of 24 or 25 you can make some dumb decisions.  They however do not become Army policy and yes my dear reader they will destroy the young company commander.  I had my ass handed to me on more than one occasion by my Group CO or XO for getting in above my pay grade.   Mr Unruh has taken this non-story and blown it incredibly out of proportion attempting to link it with legislation in the Washington State Legislature on gun control and President Obama’s inauguration in their words “the most anti-firearm President in history.”  Such is not the case, it is bad reporting and worse ethics to try to link the stupid decision of an Army Captain, or maybe even First Lieutenant with actions of a state legislature or possible yet un-enacted policies of the President.  World Net Daily has no shame in its reporting and unfortunately many of its conservative sister sites are no better.   From now on if I see examples of this crap I will report it here. People who are not interested in the truth need to be exposed especially when they present themselves as champions of truth and integrity.

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March 20, 2009 · 22:05

Christians are not above the Law: Dangers of Civil Disobedience

I’m back at home and now somewhat relaxed after my conference and travel this week.  Despite everything I was able to take some things away from the conference, mostly from the informal gatherings.  This is something that I took away from one of those times drinking beer and eating donuts with my brother combat veteran priests.

I have never been a fan of civil disobedience mainly because of my experience.  I was a Navy brat during the anti-war protests of the 1960s and 1970s and a Sunday School teacher told me that my dad was a ‘baby killer.”  In college I had things thrown at me and was verbally assaulted when walking to class in my Army ROTC uniforms.  In 2003 I had to walk through a crowd of Iraq war protesters to get to a Starbucks in Jacksonville Florida, they too were rather abusive and disrespectful.  I believe that “Nazi” was the kindest word used by these people. As such I am wary of any protest movement. I believe that they can get out of control and devolve into something destructive to their actual often noble goals.

I believe there are times when a government can make laws which are unjust and need to be corrected.  Prime examples include slavery and civil rights.  Many Christians apply the same standard to Federal and State Laws which allow abortion.  Many in the early days adopted the protest models of the 1960s as ways to exercise civil disobedience.  I think there is a time for this and a way to do it right, but those who decide to take up the methods of civil disobedience need to be very careful of the slippery slope and often unintended consequences of their actions.

I am against abortion.  The vast majority of abortion opponents are peaceful and law abiding. However there is a radical fringe in the anti-abortion movement, just like those in other movements who endanger all who stay within legal means to change those laws. The fringe has become even more vocal and incendiary since the election of President Obama.  As a Regular Navy officer I may have my political viewpoint and party affiliation but have to remain apolitical. My models are men like George Marshall and Colin Powell who were able to serve under Presidents of both parties in trying times.  Some may see this as wrong.  However it is a deep part of our nation’s military tradition and as a Christan and an officer I am distinctly uncomfortable with people who commit blatantly illegal and often immoral and hateful acts to eliminate something that they see as evil.  I’m sorry, one cannot as a Christian use the “end justifies the means” approach to changing what they disagree with.  I may agree with one’s cause, but will not in any way support illegal or potentially deadly means to correct a problem.  It took William Wilberforce decades of parlimentary sessions to slavery abolished in England and end British particpation in the salve trade.  He did it though and did so without a civil war.  The way we oppose things matters and ends can never justfy the means, if the means are wrong.

The actions of fringe elements and rouge actors have often hurt the pro-life movement. Actions by some were so extreme that Janet Reno, President Clinton’s Attorney General considered labeling anti-abortion groups as terrorist organizations. This was not aimed at peaceful protesters but rather the actions of people who bombed abortion clinics, killed physicians who performed abortions, and either verbally or physically assaulted women going to abortion clinics.  These people claimed to be obeying a higher law and executing God’s judgment on these people.  Other individuals especially in the early days of the movement incited violence during protests provoking police crackdowns. These not only jailed the instigators, but the peaceful protesters as well, providing these otherwise law abiding citizens with criminal records and convictions.  Once again, the vast majority of pro-life people and groups condemned the actions of the fringe, but those actions were used by abortion proponents to paint all anti-abortion groups with the same label.

For peaceful and law abiding people and groups who actually care about the lives of their opponents as well as the unborn there is a danger in taking part in demonstrations and marches.  The danger is that any such demonstration can be infiltrated by others who do not share the same goals.  There is the possibility that opponents of these groups could join the demonstration and commit acts which are blamed on the protesters.  This is a tactic used in many parts of the world. Likewise there are those on the fringe of the actual movement who many have mental imbalances or are so consumed by the righteousness of their cause who are willing to do anything to accomplish their mission, even if it means endangering others who may share the goal but are working within the law.  These people believe that they are above the law of the land because they are supported by a higher law. Such actions discredit the legitimate and non-violent protesters and endanger their cause.  This happens in a number of ways, but the chief way it works against the goals of the protesters is that people who may actually be in favor of their cause are turned against it by such actions.

When Christians protest what they believe are laws or actions of the government they need to be careful when conducting such actions.  The biggest concern is that when a protest is launched the organizers do not control all of the actors. Rogue and even criminal elements can join the demonstration and through their actions bring about a police response.   There are also people who have become “professional” protesters.  Every movement has these people, they live for the protest and even if they bring about change they move on to another cause. This happens across the political spectrum, one only has to look at protesters who moved from the Vietnam War, to anti-NATO, anti-American nuclear weapons in Europe, to Environmentalism, the Iraq War to whatever cause is now in vogue or waiting in the wings.  Conservative Christian professional protesters take up abortion, prayer in schools, homosexuality, and a host of other causes.  The same actors seem to be at every event and always hog the media spotlight, I’m not going to name them, but just watch and it is almost always the same people getting interviewed or arrested.  Again most are peaceful and appear to me to be attention junkies, but there are some who have advocated violence or other illegal acts. Quite often professional protesters paint caricatures of their opponents, and use vicious, inflammatory and derogatory terms and images to demonize and dehumanize them.  Regardless of their cause or political orientation, professional protesters primarily serve their need to stir up controversy and be in the media spotlight.

Professional protesters of all stripes often feel a sense of persecution by the government and often accuse agents of the government, be they military, law enforcement, administrative or judicial personnel as having a bias against their cause or group. There have been growing cries about persecution of Christians from the Religious Right.  However, most government agents are neither corrupt or on an anti-Christian crusade.  Most are honest people who try dispassionately enforce or interpret the law and many are Christians.

A prime example of this is the Commanding Officer of a former Navy Chaplain who was convicted by court-martial for disobeying lawful orders. This officer, as well as the Chaplain’s previous commander were crucified in the media by many supposedly Christian or conservative groups. These critics including former politicians, judges, pastors and pundits raced to support this chaplain’s fraudulent claims. After he ws convicted and put out of the Navy they pretty much abandoned him. However, these peoples actions, along with those of the Chaplain were destructive.  The Commanding officer was a devout Christian and member of a large evangelical-Pentecostal type church. He was driven out of his church by his pastor and others who believed the supposedly “Christian” conservative media claims against him.  The positive coverage of the actions of these conservative professional protesters by media outlets such as World Net Daily are commonplace and actually damaging to the witness of the Christian Church.

Conservative Christians now have to be even more careful because most of their causes and many of their organizations are seem by many as appendages of the Republican Party whose politicians have often embraced them, promised to assist them in order for their political support and then never delivered.  The linkage of many groups and Evangelical Christian leaders such as James Dobson to the Republican Party could be construed as no longer a religious or moral protest, but a protest waged on behalf of a political party.  Christians need to keep in mind that others will use their good intentions for their own purposes and that it is possible for their witness to be compromised by their associations with such people.  Christians are not above the law of the land even if we believe there is a higher law.  The highest law of Christians is even when injustice occurs to respond in love with an eye to God’s grace and mercy.  Doing so does not mean that Christians are as condoning evil as some say. It means that we will speak the truth in love and work within the law to change unjust laws. By doing so we ensure that all people have the right to life and all the liberties of this country regardless of who they are or what they believe.  Christians are not above the law.

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March 19, 2009 · 23:10

The Brotherhood of War Part Three: Beer, Donuts and Cigars

My conference is over and I fly home tomorrow.  I have found what happens in the informal sessions,  actually the unsanctioned and unsupervised sessions is actually of more benefit to us old combat vets than any formal program or presentation.  Maybe it’s the manner in which we do so. Most of my friends smoke cigars, I don’t, but I love a good beer. We have happened upon a great combination for late night discussions.  Beer, Krispy Kreme donuts, cigars and for the classy folks a good Port wine.  There is something about discussing experiences and really important stuff in a relaxed atmosphere as friends who each bring strengths to the table.   Some of what we discuss is related to practical matters in military ministry as well as sucecess and survival in the institution.  Likewise we discuss practical things which impact our lives in dealing with the institution of the Church.

The best of these times are wehn four to six of us can sit around and talk.  We spend time discussing our lives, ministry, tell war stories and and simply be there to help each other out, sometimes to provide a safe place to vent.  Tonight was good for me.  I was still pretty ragged from the past day and pretty much opted out of our morning session and lunch.  I needed this time in order to regroup.  One of the things that I have learned the hard way is to know my limitations.  As one of my favorite theologians, Harry Callahan says: “A man’s got to know his limitations.”  There is a lot of good theology in Dirty Harry.  I’ve learned that when my mind and body say I’m done, I am, unless of course it is a combat situation or I am in some other mortal danger.  Knowing this I knew that I could not last another day of regular sessions, even taking account of the good will and intentions of those around me.

It has been a rough week but I am glad that I came.  The bonds formed through years of friendship and shared experiences both in war and peace make this a unique fellowship.  This is our brotherhood, this is our fellowship.  We depart tomorrow and many of us will not see each other again for at least a year, maybe more. Some are already preparing for deployments to Iraq of Afghanistan and others could be called their or elsewhere at a moments notice.  This is the life that we have chosen, we and many who serve with us and those who have gone before us. There was a time a number of years ago when many civilian clergy in our church quoted the speech in Henry V quite often.  As a career military officer at the time I had problems with many who had never seen combat or lived the life of a soldier quoting that speech.  I think it is really something for us who have served, especially those who have done so in combat.  For us this has real meaning.

“This day is called the feast of Crispian:
He that outlives this day, and comes safe home,
Will stand a tip-toe when the day is named,
And rouse him at the name of Crispian.
He that shall live this day, and see old age,
Will yearly on the vigil feast his neighbours,
And say ‘To-morrow is Saint Crispian:’
Then will he strip his sleeve and show his scars.
And say ‘These wounds I had on Crispin’s day.’
Old men forget: yet all shall be forgot,
But he’ll remember with advantages
What feats he did that day: then shall our names.
Familiar in his mouth as household words
Harry the king, Bedford and Exeter,
Warwick and Talbot, Salisbury and Gloucester,
Be in their flowing cups freshly remember’d.
This story shall the good man teach his son;
And Crispin Crispian shall ne’er go by,
From this day to the ending of the world,
But we in it shall be remember’d;
We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;
For he to-day that sheds his blood with me
Shall be my brother; be he ne’er so vile,
This day shall gentle his condition:
And gentlemen in England now a-bed
Shall think themselves accursed they were not here,
And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks
That fought with us upon Saint Crispin’s day”

This is for all my friends, and all who serve and have served.  We few we happy few, we band of brothers.

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March 19, 2009 · 00:15

The Brotherhood of War: Part Two, Taking Chance

Today has been a difficult day, no one did anything nasty to me,  no angry outbursts, in fact a pretty good day spent with friends and brothers.  I had the privilege of being the celebrant at our morning Eucharist, following which we discussed what returning Soldiers, Sailors, Marines and Airmen returning from combat tours in Iraq, Afghanistan or other areas of operations have to deal with.  As people talked, my emotions got the best of me, I hadn’t slept well and had gotten up with what feels like a low level electrical current running through my body.  My friend David and I had talked well into the night so long that I had forgotten to take my meds. Not a good start. My stomach has been somewhat gooned up, I figure due to the schedule and a different diet than I normally maintain,  as well as my emotional state.  Funny just how much mind and body are connected.

During the session one of my friends described his experience receiving the bodies of over 250 service members with mortuary affairs in Kuwait.  In fact the last time I saw him was for about two minutes on the tarmac at Kuwait International as I was getting ready to board my flight out of theater as he was getting ready to great another flight of “Angels.”  As people shared their experiences my mind and emotions were cascading.  I had to leave that session to walk and eventually sit down in my rental car in the driveway.   Afterward we went to lunch, two of us  took my friend David back to the airport so he could head back to Fort Hood.  David the the friend that in his short military career has spent most of it in Iraq winning two Bronze Stars and having done more than many get to do in a career.  He is the one that I mentioned with the irreversible lung damage who will most likely within the next six months to a year be medically retired.  It was a sad parting, he is a dear friend and I admire his courage, faith and desire to serve both his country and God’s people.  The rest of the group went to dinner while we found a little Irish pub and continued our time with Yuengling Beer and Krispy Kreme donuts out at the hotel pool.  Two Iraq vets trying to get through another day dealing with our own stuff.  The good thing is that we have each other.

I came up to my room and turned on the TV.  HBO was airing Taking Chance about a Marine officer who volunteered  to escort the body of a fallen Marine back to his home following his death in Iraq in 2004.  The film, if you have not seen it is incredibly powerful and triggered for me a very intense emotional reaction.  I have made death notifications, done memorial services and military funerals for a good number of servicemen over the years.  I’ve also been in hundreds of end of life situations in hospitals, including many traumatic deaths of young people.  The movie brought back memories of some of these occasions.  It also showed the simple yet profound thanks that so many Americans express for our servicemen and women, which were portrayed in the film, as well as some of the idiocy that travelers in uniform occasionally have to deal with from some TSA agents.  I and probably most military members have experienced much of what LtCol. Stroeble, portrayed by Kevin Bacon in the film experienced. It is a part of the brotherhood, a brotherhood that extends across generations and even across national and cultural divides. God bless Mr. Bacon and the people who made this film and Lt.Col. Stroebel who wrote this story.

Today was a tough day, but it brought new insights and as well as appreciation of my journey.  Peace, Steve+

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March 17, 2009 · 23:39

The Brotherhood of War

Back in the mid 80s shortly after I was commissioned as an Army Officer there was a series of historical novels by W.E.B. Griffin called the Brotherhood of War. The series traced the paths of several Army officers as well as family and friends beginning in World War II. I am not much of a reader of fiction, but this series, as well as Anton Meyer’s Once an Eagle well captured the unique culture of the career professional soldier through both war and peace.  They treated their subject respectfully while also dealing with the effect of this lifestyle on families as well as the soldiers.

I’ve been a military officer in both the Army and Navy now for almost 26 years with nearly 28 years total service. I grew up in a Navy family.  The last 10 have been in the Navy.  In 1999 in order to return to active duty I resigned my Army Reserve commission as a Major and entered the Navy Chaplain Corps as a Lieutenant with no time in grade.  Outside of marrying my wife Judy, who somehow did not kill me when I did this, going in the Navy was the best thing that ever happened to me.

Part of my time in the Army and Navy has been my time in the Chaplain Corps of each service.  I have been a chaplain for almost 17 years.  My best friends are other chaplains, some from my own church and some from other communions.  The ones that I have the most connectedness to are those who have served in combat, especially those who served in Iraq, or ships in the war zone conducting various combat and maritime operations even when we were in different places.

Tonight I was with a number of chaplains from my church gathered for our annual conference.  Some of these men I have now known for at least 10 years, some more.  I’ve seen the young guys start to age and others retired from the service.  What has made this conference different from past gatherings is that all of us have had one or more combat deployment or are getting ready to go back.  Last year was difficult for me because of how my PTSD was manifesting.

We have shared our stories but now they are the stories of men who have all seen war.  In our careers we have have all experienced success, as well as heartache.  Due to our duty we have been often isolated from the church and each other.  I don’t think that most of us returned from the war unchanged.  There is a lot less bravado than years past, more reflection, less intense discussion of the theological issues that have divided the Christian Church for centuries.  I know that at least two of us have PTSD, one case of TBI, another with an Iraq acquired constrictive bronchiolitis, or bronchiolitis obliterans which has no cure. This young man has won two Bronze Stars and now has the lung capacity of a 70 year old man.  We have others who have won awards for their service in combat. Some have experienced the indifference of the medical and administrative parts of our service.  When I returned I found my personal and professional belongings crammed into a trailer with those of my assistant.  There are things which I considered important that are still missing and likely never to be found.  Others have had experiences where they felt the cold indifference of bureaucratic systems often staffed by civilian contractors who act if the returning or injured vet is there so they can have a job. Of course not all are that way, but these kind of people seem to show up frequently.

We have by and large matured, seeing death and destruction and being exposed to danger from enemies that could strike in the most unexpected moments in the most unexpected ways.  We have experienced sometimes difficult adjustments to life back home, a knowledge that we are different and that we are even more cognizant of our own obligation to care for God’s people.  Our brotherhood has deepened as a result of war, of that I am sure. Peace, Steve+

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March 17, 2009 · 00:41

The Land of Unhappy Travelers

The 80’s group Blondie had a hit called “Island of Lost Souls.”  I love that song, it is kind of quirky and fun.  However, there is a time when you run into a place where the song seems more true than not. Today was one of those days.

I had to travel to Florida this morning for a Chaplain conference.  Since I came back from Iraq I do travel a lot less well than I used to and to make matters worse conferences of almost any kind at best come close to pushing me to the edge.  Sleep was difficult as usual the night before I travel, trying to anticipate every contingency, going through my packing list and ensuring everything I needed was there, getting up an hour later to make sure and setting multiple alarm clocks just to make sure I don’t miss my flight.  I know why I do this. Before Iraq I traveled a lot and got good at it.  In Iraq a did a lot more of this and got into a routine of checking, double checking and even triple checking to make sure that I had everything that I needed knowing that it would not be available the places that I was going or places that I might get marooned.  I have carried that back with me.  I actually have the same pack that I carried on every mission over there.  It is an excellent piece of gear, made by Blackhawk.

Anyway, today was a hellish travel day. The weather across the east coast was crappy.  My first flight was delayed an hour, my second flight as well. If that was not bad enough the Delta airlines failed to have people at gates and jet ways when gate changes happened, leaving people to miss flights and nearly miss vacation cruises.  On our connecting flight at Atlanta’s Harts-Jackson Field was delayed, in my case a good thing as had it been on time I would have missed it or had my luggage delayed.  While in line waiting for the flight announcements were periodically made, each one either delivering a later flight time or excuse for the delay.  The excuses often were inconsistent.  I’m not saying that an airline would lie, but it seemed to my little pea brain that the excuses conflicted.  Let’s face it, if you are going to lie be consistent and always remember that it is not a lie if you believe it.  Unfortunately the people lying to us were not very believable.

As I waited I surveyed my fellow disgruntled travelers.  Now by this time I had both extra meds as well as my 8 AM  and 1230 PM doses of Samuel Adams Boston Lager.  Normally I’ll wait until dinner for a beer, but I knew that I needed a bit more today.  The last conference that I flew to was in Orlando last year and that about put me over the edge. If you have PTSD a few months after coming out of combat zone going through the Orlando in the middle of the Summer pilgrimage of millions of the faithful  to Wally World to see Randy Rodent and Doofey is not a fun experience.  Thanks be to God for her good care.  She ensured that my doctor had given good drugs and the airport pubs provided good beer not to mention a Chili Dog with mustard, thus by the middle of the afternoon I was doing far better than most of my fellow travelers.  It was then that the Blondie song came into my mind.  This was not the Island of Lost Souls but the Land of Unhappy Travelers.  I listened to some people’s stories and they were like “Lemony Snickets: A Series of Unfortunate Events.” Atlanta had become a vortex of very disgruntled travellers who had missed flights, been bumped from flights or delayed endlessly.  If you don’t believe in the Catholic doctrine of Purgatory just try Atlanta on a day like today.  I looked around, and though barely holding on myself I was able to find some gallows humor in the midst of this angony.  I looked around the people around me and said “Ladies and gentlemen it is my distinct displeasure to welcome you to the land of unhappy travelers.”  I actually got a few laughs.  I then made a comment about the airline, which I had not flown in a couple of years, saying “I’m glad to see that some things stay the same, our airline still has same crappy service that they had a few years ago.  As we started boarding we boarded by zones as some airlines are want to do.  I personally prefer the first come or first signed in first seated way that Southwest does things, unfortunately the government contract was no longer with Southwest. As they announced “boarding zones one through five,” I commented, “yep, you guys in zone 92 still have a while to wait.  On each flight we had bad weather, turbulence and on one flight the air condition did not start kicking in until we were getting ready to land.

When I got to my destination I heard stories even worse than mine, all focused around the vortex of doom that swirled around Atlanta.  The only place that I thought it could have gone worse was Washington Dulles, where my experiences have been nearly all bad.I survived but by the time I got to my hotel my ass was kicked.

At the end of the day I had survived.  A few beers and a bit of wine with good fellowship with friends made things better.

So to all those who have suffered today, the inhabitants of the Land of Unhappy Travelers, I bid you a good night and safe travel, whenever you get out of Atlanta.

Peace, Steve+

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March 15, 2009 · 21:36

The Political Captivity of the Church

Since I have identified myself as a liberal, though I have to say a very moderate and even conservative liberal, I figure I should go ahead and continue to dig my grave with my conservative brethren, as well as those to the left of me.  Since I am a liberal conservative or conservative liberal I am in the uncomfortable middle in a society that has become deeply polarized.  I think that I am a passionate moderate, though to the extreme right I might be a raving liberal, and the far left a intolerant conservative. I think that the former is more likely.  My goal in life is to get along, find common ground among disparate groups and care for God’s people.  Despite the rancor on the extremes I think that there are more people out there like me than not. My belief is that voices like ours are drowned out by drumbeat of competing demagogues on the far right and the far left.  Since I am a priest my focus will be on the dangers that I see in the current climate and the captivity that churches have unwittingly placed themselves in making political alliances.

Early in his “Reforming” days the young Martin Luther wrote a book entitled “The Babylonian Captivity of the Church.” It was a severe critique of abuses in the Roman Catholic Church of his era.  I think churches today have become captive to to various political parties, social and economic theories, movements and ideas.  These are not necessarily Christian even though any churches have “baptized” them so to speak.

On the left a lot of churches have embraced social reform, the civil rights movement, women’s liberation as well as left leaning and even socialistic economic models and a demonstrated preference for the Democratic Party.   On the right conservative churches beginning in the 1970s in reaction to the social revolutions of the 1960s moved almost lock, stock and barrel to the Republican Party.  Ronald Reagan was the primary reason for this move as he enunciated a philosophy of limited government, military preparedness and the sanctity of life in at least in what he said. Other conservative politicians solidified that relationship in the 1990s during the presidency of Bill Clinton. Those on the left did the same during the presidency of George W. Bush.

I am not going to cast dispersion on the motives of wither liberal and conservative churches as they made these political alliances.  Far be it, the activity of churches has been an important part of American life and has contributed to many advances in our society including the civil rights movement, which could not have succeeded without the efforts of the Reverend Martin Luther King Jr. and many other clergymen and women, from across the denominational and racial spectrum.

At the same time I am noticing a trend by by many clergy and laity of both liberal and conservative churches to be uncritical in their relationships with political parties. In my view this has emasculated the witness of the church.  I have experienced this on both the left and the right. When I was a kid my dad, a career Navy Chief Petty Officer was serving in Vietnam. New to the area we went to a church of the denomination that my parents had grown up in and in which I had been baptized.  This was a mainline Protestant Church, the name I will not mention because it is irrelevant to the discussion.  The minister constantly preached against the war and I had a Sunday School teacher tell me that my dad was a “baby killer.”  If it had not been for the Roman Catholic chaplain at the little Navy base in town who showed my family the love of God when that happened, caring for our Protestant family without trying to make us Catholic I would have probably never reconciled with the church.  I trace my vocation as a priest and chaplain to that man. Since I have spent more of my life in conservative churches in the days since I have seen a growing and ever more strident move to the political right in conservative churches.  I think this has less to do with the actual churches but the influence of conservative talk radio,  I often hear my fellow Christians on the right talk more vociferously about free markets capitalism, the war on terror and justifying the other conservative causes which are general less than central to the faith.  When I have challenged conservative Christian friends on what I think are inconsistencies I have in some cases been attacked and pretty nastily if I might add.

My view is that Christians on both the right have lost any prophetic voice in their respective political parties.  They have become special interest groups who compete with other special interest groups,  which politicians of both parties treat as their loyal servants.  This is what I mean by captivity.  I think that the church has to be able to speak her mind and be a witness of the redemption and reconciliation message of the Gospel and hold politicians, political parties and other power structures accountable for their treatment of the least, the lost and the lonely; caring for those that to those who seek to maintain political and economic control, merely numbers.  The church has to maintain her independence or lose submit to slavery.  There are many examples we can look to in this, William Wilberforce, Martin Luther King Jr, Dietrich Bonhoeffer and Martin Niemoller to name just a few.  These men were not apolitical, but they were both prophetic and redemptive.  May we as Christians and other people of faith seek to embody this witness in our divided and dangerous world.  Peace to all God’s people. Steve+

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March 14, 2009 · 21:46

Right Wing Intolerance

Disclaimer: Just because I am talking about Right Wing intolerance does not mean that I think the politcial left is immune from such behavior, nor do I believe that all liberals are tolerant. I recognize that there are Left Wing groups and individuals as intolerant as those on the right.  I am after all fair and balanced.

Today something totally weird happened to me on Facebook,  I made a throw away question and response on a friend’s likewise throw away comment.  Some guy who was a friend of a friend of my friend on my friend’s Facebook  friends list jumped my ass.  He was brutal, called me stupid, a douche bag, idiot and several other things after I said that I was a “liberal.”  He made derogatory comments concerning my intelligence and listening skills and when I made the comment that he had set off a severe PTSD reaction (I was trembling so badly that I had to take an anti-anxiety medicine to calm down) he made repeated derogatory comments about my condition and medication even saying that “too bad there is no medication for stupidity.” This young man did not know me from Adam yet he ripped into me assaulting my character, intelligence, and mental stability. This kid was ruthless, but he had learned well. He sounded just like Sean Hannity, Rush Limbaugh and Michael Savage.  The young man blamed the whole incident on me and commented “that people like me start wars.” I have no thirst for war after Iraq, but evidently this young man thinks that I am a war monger. Of course I didn’t make anything better when in the midst of my PTSD defense reaction I called him an asshole, but he was an arrogant young ass.  My friend, who has known me for years dropped this young man from his friends list. Afterward this young man sent me a personal message blaming me for getting dropped from my friend’s friend list.  I had apologized to my friend for breaking the decorum of his post by calling the young man an asshole, but I never suggested removing him as I did not know his relationship to my friend.

This young man unfortunately represents many who spend three to six hours a day or more listening to conservative talk radio.  I used to do so myself, but had to give it up after my time in Iraq when I realized that many of these commentators had no earthly clue about what was going on over there.  I also realized that in order for them to keep up ratings and make money and stay on the air that they have to keep people continuously spun up and agitated.  If someone listens to that kind of message, regardless of the ideology espoused by the commentator, one will be spun up and agitated, ready to go to war with anyone who does not think that way.

When someone on Facebook sends you a message you can view their page.  This young man claimed to be a Christian with his political views listed as “Anti-Democrat.”  However, the Christian faith is about reconciliation. This young man has obviously been listening to more conservative talk radio than wrestling with Scripture or Christian belief. I hate to say it but the philosophic and scientific foundation of Capitalism is that of Charles Darwin and the survival of the fittest. It is pure and simple social Darwinism. Sorry that is not Christian, but my brothers on the political right often see at as something intrinsic to the Christian faith, when in fact it has been condemned by Popes.

I had another young man a few months ago who is an active duty officer in the military drop me from his friends list after I suggested he be careful in being too vocal about his political views.  Active duty officers may vote, we may support political candidates, but we always, even when the President is different from our Party treat him with the respect and deference that the office and our oath demands.  When I see right wing news sites like World Net Daily encourage military men to disobey lawful orders I am troubled.  Those who encourage young men and women to disobey orders in a combat zone will abandon them once they have done so and been punished under the UCMJ.  Then they will move on to another topic leaving the men who risked all for what these people encouraged them to do sit in jail, or are discharged;  be it a Other Than Honorable, Bad Conduct or Dishonorable discharge. The right wing groups will raise money keep people spun up, but leave these men and women hung out to dry when they are finished with them.  Such action by supposed “Christian” conservatives is unconscionable, immoral and in fact unchristian.

I can definitely say that I used to be a conservative, back in the days that it wasn’t popular after Nixon left office. Bill Buckley, George Will and Ronald Reagan were my political mentors.  They were men of principle, gentlemen and though they disagreed with their opponents on the political left never made ad homonym personal attacks.  They remained friends with their opponents on the other side of the aisle.  I do still have some conservative leanings, I am pro-life but think based on what I see in medicine that there are some definite “gray” areas.  I was appalled at the Vatican’s decision to excommunicate the mother and doctors of a 9 year old girl who had become pregnant with twins by her stepfather.  The girl was discovered to be pregnant when she got sick and was about to die at about the 4th month of the pregnancy.  The mother and doctors rightfully decided to save the child’s life which had been endangered by the criminal actions of the step father, who by the way was NOT excommunicated, the Brazilian government is prosecuting that horrible excuse of a man.  When I see this action on the part of a church, any church I am appalled.  I cannot see Jesus doing this to anyone, especially the people who elected to save the life of a child.  Those who know anything about medicine know that at 16 weeks with a mother in extremis that any babies born will not be viable and will die anyway while at the same time likely killing the nine year old.  Does this make me pro-abortion?  I don’t think so, but evidently the Vatican does.

I left the Republican Party last year.  It was hard.  I had been a Republican since I was 16 years old.  I worked for Gerald Ford’s campaign before I could vote.  I cheered for Ronald Reagan, voted for George Bush. Had many issueswith Bill Clinton, but was troubled by actions of people rising to power in the Republican Party. I voted reluctantly for George W. Bush and wish that the Democrats had run someone other than John Kerry in 2004.  I became critical of the Bush administration for many things which I will not go into here, but they are subjects often targeted by Libertarians and by those that some in the Republican Party refer to as “Paleoconservatives .”  One of my chief complaints about the “Christian” right is that it looks to me that its leadership is simply an appendage of the Republican Party.  I wonder if back in the 1976-1980 time frame had Christian leaders across the board ensured that they were represented inboth political parties if the Democrat Party would have gone as far left as it did.  I also wonder if this would have kept both parties honest in dealing with social issues, including, but not limited to abortion.  I have seen some “Christians” impose ideologies such as free market capitalism and war against Islamic nations and support of the former President and Republican Party agenda as tests of ones Christian faith and practice.  I wonder about that because I think it has gutted the witness of the church in the world. I guess tis makes me a liberal now.  Oh well…if I am I’m a liberal for Jesus.

So that is my story after being once again beaten up by some mindless drone who claims to be both a Christian and conservative.  I’m definitely a Christian, but cannot claim to be a conservative in the current topography of the political landscape.  As was the case in a Bloom County Comic strip back in the 1980s, Opus the Penguin was labled as a liberal, and the lable stuck. I guess I am a liberal now. Oh well…

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