A while back a conservative Christian author published named Gary Demonte Chapman authored a book on marriage and relationships called The Five Love Languages. The book has nearly a cult following in Evangelical Christian circles and is used by many pastors, lay leaders and teachers to help couples develop a sense of intimacy. I think this is commendable but for the life of me I cannot get past the title of the book to read it. Thus apart from internet reviews on Amazon.com I have no earthly idea what languages that Chapman is speaking. Personally I can speak, read and write German and some French and I can say that German class and German Club helped bring Judy and I together at San Joaquin Delta College, I cannot figure out how it would figure in my love life.
The book came out in October 1992 shortly after I graduated from seminary. Many of my friends recommended it as I said I couldn’t get past the title. The book was published four years after I saw the movie A Fish Called Wanda starring Jamie Lee Curtis, John Clease, Michael Palin and Kevin Kline which forever has colored my twisted view on language and love.
When I was in Iraq traveling about the country I had an office space at Taqaddum Air Base Chapel where I coordinated my team’s travels about Al Anbar Province. Since I was not there most of the time I shared the office with a Chaplain who covered some of the Marine units on the base. He was a Southern Baptist and also did a lot of Bible studies and marriage classes. To do the marriage classes he ordered cases of the Five Love Languages as well as workbooks and videos. A came back from a mission and they filled half of the office. While the chaplain was good and had a good number of takers for his classes I am sure that when we left the base during the withdraw from Iraq that many copies were left behind. I can only image an Iraqi Airman seeing the title and knowing little English think that it was a book on foreign languages.
When I saw the books I could not help but think of the movie. I tried to keep it to myself but shared my humorous insights with others that I knew would understand. Eventually I confessed my twisted musings with the Baptist Chaplain who thankfully appreciated the humor.
In the movie which I do not want to spoil for those that have not seen it, language plays an important part. But because it plays such an important part in this story I have to give away a spoiler. Jamie Lee Curtis, who I have always thought was totally hot plays Wanda Gershwitz . She is the American girlfriend of a character named Friedrich Nietzsche Otto played by Kevin Kline. The two double cross their British partner in crime after robbing a diamond merchant in London with Curtis co-opting British barrister Archie Leach played by John Cleese who is defending the partner that they double crossed. But I digress and don’t want to spoil the whole thing.
However I do have to share the one point that ensured that I could never ever pick up a copy of The Five Languages without laughing.
Anyway Curtiss’ character has an interesting quirk. She gets excited when the men that she makes love to speak foreign languages as they make love to her. Kline’s character Otto was somewhat an idiot and would speak incoherent Italian gibberish as he makes love to her like “Per cominciare, due insalate verdi con peperoni e un linguini primavera.” However she was really taken by Cleese who when she asks him if he speaks Italian says “I am Italian! Sono italiano in spirito. Ma ho sposato una donna che preferisce lavorare in giardino a fare l’amore appassionato. Uno sbaglio grande! But it’s such an ugly language. How about… Russian?”
The rest is history.