Category Archives: Baseball

June 16, 2009 · 22:32

It’s what you learn after you know it all that counts-Thoughts on 26 Years of Commissioned Service

When I Knew Everything: Me in August 1983 following completion of the Medical Service Corps Officer Basic Course

“It’s what you learn after you know it all that counts.” Earl Weaver

When I was commissioned as a Second Lieutenant in the US Army back in 1983 I knew that I was quite possibly the smartest new Lieutenant in the Army. In fact in just a few days I will celebrate the anniversary of that auspicious occasion as I do most occasions by going to Harbor Park where I will see the Tides play the Lehigh Valley Iron Pigs, AAA affiliate of the Phillies. But anyway, back to how smart that I thought I was back then. I graduated from my Medical Service Corps Officer Basic Course fairly high in my class without really trying too hard, had a pretty easy time at the Junior Officer Maintenance Course. However, those were schools and anybody with half a brain can tell you that going to school is kind of like artificial real life. Yeah, you may be doing the living and breathing stuff, sucking up food and band width, but it is not real life. If you show up on time, read a little bit and take good notes you pass and move along.

However, real life has a tendency to take the smartest of the book smart people and kick their ass. Sometimes it takes a while but young guys in the military who think they know more than old dudes who have served on all kinds of places and been to combat. When I was the young guy there were still a fair amount of men who had served in Vietnam and even a few from Korea still in service. Now these guys were a mixed bag. Some had seen better days and were on what we referred to as the ROAD (Retired On Active Duty) program. Others though were totally professional and absolutely committed to the Army and their soldiers, guys like SFC Harry Zilkan, 1SG Jim Koenig and Colonel Donald Johnson. These men were amazing, and even some of the ROAD program soldiers and officers still knew a lot more than I knew at that point.

When I got to Germany I can say that there were a number of occasions where as a young officer I had my ass handed to me, even when I was right. I’m not going to go into ugly details but it suffices to say that a good number of those times I got what I deserved because I was arrogant and not nearly as smart as I thought I was. I was like a rookie pitcher thinking that my stuff was unhittable and finding out that guys who had played in the show for a long time had seen it all before. It was in Germany that I found that while I had good stuff that I wasn’t savvy enough to know when to change my stuff up or when to take the hint not to keep pushing my luck. I was kind of like Ebby Clavin LaLoosh in Bull Durham in wanting to do what I wanted to do.

tim_robbins_kevin_costner_bull_durham_001 I want to give him the heat and announce my presence with authority!

Crash calls for a curve ball, Ebby shakes off the pitch twice]
Crash Davis: [stands up] Hey! HEY!
[walks to meet Ebby at the mound]
Crash Davis: Why are you shaking me off?
Ebby Calvin LaLoosh: [Gets in Crash’s face] I want to give him the heat and announce my presence with authority!
Crash Davis: Announce your f***ing presence with authority? This guy is a first ball, fast ball hitter!
Ebby Calvin LaLoosh: Well he hasn’t seen my heat!
Crash Davis: [pauses] Allright meat, show him your heat.
[Walks back towards the box]
Crash Davis: [to the batter] Fast ball.

[after Ebby didn’t listen to Crash, and the ball became a home run]
Ebby Calvin LaLoosh: You told him didn’t you?
Crash Davis: Yup.

You having fun yet?

That was me as a young officer. You would think that I would have learned, but after I became a Army Chaplain I did the same damned thing. Now admittedly it was not in the units that I served in, but my hotheadedness still got me in trouble especially when I decided to challenge guys who had been around a long longer than me and who were a lot more savvy than me. I had no idea how cunning and brutal some chaplains could be despite having good warning from my XO and Brigade commander at the Academy of Health Sciences, LTC Jim Wigger. LTC Wigger pulled me aside one day shortly before I left active duty to go to seminary. He told me “Steve, I know that you think that the Medical Service Corps can be political and vicious, we can’t hold a candle to the Chaplain Corps.” I should have listened to him. He was right, a lot of those guys were political animals and had no problem taking down or destroying a young chaplain if they thought that they needed to do so. I got whacked pretty hard a number of times as a young Army Chaplain, but was fortunate that people who knew me and saw potential in me gave me some top cover and protection. Not everyone gets this. The Deity Herself must have taken an interest in my career to ensure that there were some guys around to save me from me. Chaplain Rich Whaley did this for me at the Chaplain school on a number of occasions even the time that I got thrown out of the Chaplain Officer Advanced Course (See one of my previous posts to read about this one.)

[Mechanized bull noises in background]
Crash Davis: Well, he really hit the shit outta that one, didn’t he?
[laughs]
Ebby Calvin LaLoosh: [softly, infuriated] I held it like an egg.
Crash Davis: Yeah, and he scrambled the son of a bitch. Look at that, he hit the f***ing bull! Guy gets a free steak!
[laughs]
Crash Davis: You having fun yet?
Ebby Calvin LaLoosh: Oh, yeah. Havin’ a blast.
Crash Davis: Good.
[pause]
Ebby Calvin LaLoosh: God, that sucker teed off on that like he knew I was gonna throw a fastball!
Crash Davis: He did know.
Ebby Calvin LaLoosh: How?
Crash Davis: I told him.

Thankfully by the time I had spent 17 ½ years in the Army I had learned my lessons. By the time I got to the Navy I had pretty much discovered when and under what circumstances that I could push things. I had learned the hard way in the Army. I finally learned that I didn’t know nearly as much as I thought I did. In fact when I went to the Navy I came in at a lower rank that my Army rank and took no constructive credit to try to get promoted sooner. I went in with no time in grade to make sure that I got the experience that I needed on the Navy and Marine side. When doing this I took the time to learn the nuances that made the work of a chaplain different in the Sea Services than in the Army. While there are similarities even the similarities are often different. These different similarities can kill you if you think that you’re smarter than everyone else.

I’m now coming up to 26 years of commissioned service and soon to 28 total years of service. I’m now a lot more like Crash Davis than Ebby Calvin “Nuke” LaLoosh. In fact now I try to make sure the young guys chaplains and non-chaplains alike don’t get themselves in unnecessary trouble by assuming that they know more than they do. I have a dear friend who is an Army Chaplain. In his first three years in the Army he has won two Bronze Stars in Iraq. He will probably be medically retired soon because of a rare pulmonary and respiratory problem that he developed in Iraq. He was initially supposed to come in the Navy, until just before his care board met a washed up ROAD program chaplain supervising him on an OJT tour decided to torpedo him. It was crushing to my friend. He would have been a great Navy and Marine Corps Chaplain. I helped him recover and assisted him going to the Army. In his formation I used to require him to watch baseball movies and read books about baseball, and like Crash Davis I would call him “Meat.” The guy is a gem; the Army is going to lose a superstar when he is medically retired.

Anyway, my mission now is to help the young guys along and continue to keep myself both in the game and always learn something new to keep me sharp and to help others. It’s like Master Yogi once said “In baseball you don’t know nothing.” I’m sure that the Deity Herself would agree.

Peace, Steve+

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June 15, 2009 · 22:18

The Art of Balance, Baseball and living as a Passionate Moderate

I subscribe to the philosophy that balance is essential in life. This is probably because my kindergarten teacher took the pencil from my lf and made me write with my right hand which I believe made me amphibious. I think that is one reason that God speaks to me through baseball. It’s kind of like those mythical Chinese kids, Yin and Yang, who as I understand whose properties were fused by the Deity Herself into the perfect form of a baseball several millennia ago becoming the symbol of perfect balance in the world. In baseball there is a certain balance and symmetry that transcends sports played on rectangular fields. Baseball is the one team sport where no fat lady gets to sing before the last out, unless of course she is singing God Bless America during the 7^th Inning Stretch. Time in baseball is measured in multiples of three: Three Strikes to an out, three outs in an inning, and nine innings of three outs each. Likewise there are 90 feet between each base and 60 feet six inches between the pitcher’s rubber and home plate, again, multiples of three. There are 108 stitches in a baseball, again a multiple of three. Since we in the Christian Church understand God as a Trinity in Unity, One God, Father, Son and Holy Spirit, it is apparent to me that baseball, being a game made up of “threes” is something that flows from God to us. As George Will once said “Baseball is Heaven’s gift to mortals.”

This is why I am a moderate which to me an integral part of balance. Moderation to the chagrin of many actually takes work, hard work. Moderates are often mischaracterized, maligned or derided by people who don’t understand the difference between a principled moderate and waffling follower. I don’t believe that lazy and unimaginative people who can’t make up their minds about which cola is better, much less examine a serious issue can be truly described as moderates. They may be wishy-washy but they are not true moderates. People who take a position so strongly that they can only see their particular view as the only way, be it political, social or religious often cannot understand a true moderate and because moderates don’t fit in their dualistic world view have to malign them. Unfortunately moderates tend to have big targets on them which draw the fire of extremists on any side of an issue. Moderates are often compared the Biblical church of Laodicea which the Lord says he will spew out of his mouth like a cheap beer. I once heard a fiery preacher in Texas say that the only thing defining a moderate was “the tire track down his back as he was run over by people who really believed in something.” Rush Limbaugh and others on the right treat moderates like traitors, and Limbaugh’s left wing counterparts pretty much see moderates in the same way. It is much like the way conservative Catholics and Protestant Fundamentalists view the via media or middle way of Anglicanism. Moderation does not go over well with people who live in a dualistic, black and white world. Moderation is like baseball where there is no replay for a called third strike, where umpires can make a bad call and where decisions can go either way. Football and other sports which depend on replays when a call is controversial seek to evade a key part of the human condition, they have removed as much as possible the judgment call and the gray area and unwittingly played into the dualism.

My understanding of being a moderate however is far from being wishy-washy spit coming from the mouth of God….oops, splurt. I believe that real moderates seek truth, and far from being wishy-washy or milquetoasty are pretty tenacious, diplomatic and able to see the finer points of argument and debate. Moderates occupy the crucial center ground on which the safety and stability of nations, governemnts and churches depend. As such true moderates must be principled and passionate in both seeking and defending truth. They also must be willing to defend themselves from both the left and the right. This is not simply pragmatism, though moderates tend to be pragmatic, it is necessity. Likewise true moderates are passionate about life and truth, there is no waffling, as a moderate though moderates know that thye don’t have all the answers, and that somethimes there are no answers. Thus for me I am according to my website title a “passionate moderate.” This is far from being an oxymoron, or for that matter any kind of moron. Being a passionate moderate entails holding a tension between opposing points of view, its the synergy of old Yin and Yang. Passionate moderates have to be able to engage anyone in meaningful dialogue from both the right and the left. Passionate moderates also must be able to confront individuals or groups which have moved to extremist positions that are ultimately detrimental to them and others. Being a moderate does not mean being a wimp, milquetoast or wishy-washy. It means having the courage of conviction to pursue truth and do what is right even if it deviates from a political, religious or ideological point s of view which believes it to be the only correct reflection of what is good right and holy in the world.

Thus there is a wide gap between real moderates and lazy people who can’t make a decision to fart towards their left or right buttocks much less to take a position that may be contrary to those comfortably and immutably ensconced in their ideological, religious or political beliefs. Passionate moderates are the center which must hold in order for a pluralistic and multicultural society to survive political, military or economic crisis; natural disaster or other catastrophes such as the Leisure Suits, Disco, Chevy Chevettes, Ford Pintos, the Purpose Driven Church, artificial turf and multi-purpose stadiums which house baseball teams.

Moderation, like baseball takes both patience and balance and is not for the faint of heart. Being a moderate means that you assume, like baseball that every pitch is a new game. With each pitch there is a different situation with numerous, if not infinite possibilities. A true moderate looks to the future and uses the past as a guide, not a place to remain. Christian moderation involves holding to the truth of the Scriptures, the Tradition of the Faith and to Reason as a basis of moving forward in the grace, mercy and peace of God. This requires balance, patience and fortitude, because the task is not easy. It is like those mythical Chinese kids Yin and Yang who were fused into the perfect sphere which became the prototypical baseball; everything in balance.

Peace, Steve+

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June 14, 2009 · 22:51

Benjamin Sisko, Star Trek Deep Space Nine and the Less than Sexy Command of Military Bases

Note: I write this after Judy and I did something that we never normally do…no not that, whatever that is in your dirty minds. For us this was to watch a movie in a theater a second time. We did this tonight. We went and saw the Star Trek movie again and enjoyed it as much as the first time. As I thought about us seeing it this afternoon I was writing on another topic, but it was much too involved for my brain at this moment in time. So I saved it and went back to Star Trek. This is the first in a series about Star Trek Captains and deals with the only Captain on a Star Trek series who is not Captain of a Star Ship, but rather a Star Base. In this case, Captain Benjamin Sisko of Deep Space Nine. In some ways I dedicate this to those fine officers who do not get the commands at sea, or if they are in the Army or Marines those who command bases or garrisons rather than maneuver units. I dedicate this particular post to Colonel Tom Allmon, US Army Retired who I served with at Fort Indiantown Gap Pennsylvania and who later commanded Fort Meyer Virginia. This will be a first of a series that will appear periodically dealing with characters from the various Star Trek series and films and work them into what commanders and staff officers in the U.S. Military deal with on a daily basis.

“There is more to baseball than physical strength. It’s, uh… it’s about courage; and it’s also about faith; and it is also about heart. And if there’s one thing our Vulcan friends lack, it’s heart.” Captain Benjamin Sisko

Sisko being thrown from the game against the Vulcan Logicians

Star Trek Commanding Officers are interesting to compare and contrast and usually have a lot to do with how each Star Trek series was received. I know a lot of people who like Captain Kirk over Captain Picard or Picard over Kirk. There are those who prefer Kathryn Janeway to any of the men. Of course all of these were the Captains of Federation starships. Like any naval service it is the Captains of warships that have the “sexy” jobs. Commanding officers of service vessels, auxiliaries or bases tend not to be the commanders who are being groomed for Flag rank. The newer and more powerful the vessel is, the more likely that the skipper is being groomed for a higher level command. This is true in any Navy and is certainly true in the world of Star Trek. Thus we have the unusual situation for a us to deal with and perhaps the reason that some people do not care for Deep Space Nine as much as for the series involving Starships as the setting for the show. Captain Benjamin Sisko of Deep Space Nine doesn’t command a ship. In fact he is the survivor of the USS Saratoga, a ship lost when the Federation fleet was decimated by the Borg at Wolf 359 in which his wife is killed in action.

Having served at sea and ashore I can say that the divide between commanders of warships and those of bases is deep. This is not a pejorative statement at all, but a recognition that the services tend to weigh command of a warship higher than that of a base. Both situations require men and women of certain temperament and ability. Good commanders can function and adapt anywhere but may because of the needs of the service find themselves in assignments that are less glamorous and maybe even less desirable from a career point of view. Such is the case with Benjamin Sisko. He is sent to an important but remote base with a small Federation staff off the planet Bejor which recently gained its independence from the Cardassian Empire. The space station had previously been a Cardassian station.

Sisko’s assignment like that of any overseas base commander is an interesting weave of station commander, quasi-ambassador to the Bejoran government, small town mayor and overseer of security in the sector which becomes much more important with the discovery of a “worm hole” in space nearby. In the process he must deal with the ever present Cardassians who through Gul Dukat the former station commander continually attempt to re-assert their dominance and authority over both the station a Bajor. As the series moves along he is forced more onto a war footing as a race from a sector of the galaxy connected through the worm hole attempts to invade the sector which Deep Space Nine serves as the outpost and tripwire.

All through this Sisco must deal with a multiplicity of problems, not unlike commanders of US Naval bases in sensitive and potentially volatile regions do on a daily basis today. Sisko must deal with the unique history, culture and religion of the Bajorans. Likewise he has to deal with the divides between moderate and fundamentalists in the Bajoran religion. He also must deal with tensions between the religious Bajorans and Bejoran secularists all the while trying to heal the scars of the Cardassian occupation, physical, physiological and spiritual to the people of Bajor.

As if this were not enough he has a host of potential problems on his station. The station has a strong presence of people who in today’s parlance would be called Third Country Nationals, or TCNs. These individuals and their families run shops, bars and restaurants on the station, sometimes within not quite within the margins of legality, in particular the Bartender Quark and tailor Garak. Captain Sisko deals with all of this in addition to normal issues that any commander would face dealing with his own personnel, operations and logistics functions. While he is the base commander he has a Bajoran as his deputy and Bajoran personnel throughout the station who have to work with Starfleet personnel.

It would similar situation to that faced by US commanders of bases in the Middle East who have to deal with very similar issues today. That is what makes Sisko for me such an interesting character. His job is not the wide ranging, high visibility “sexy” star ship Captain assignment. This as well as the more dark underlying tone of the show makes it more of a mystery. Sisko, who brings with him a love of Jazz, New Orleans cuisine and baseball is an interesting character, if nothing else from my perspective the subject of baseball. He introduces baseball to the station, even forming a team which plays the Vulcans who are surprisingly good ballplayers. It could be that baseball is a game that the analytical Vulcans would find an affinity. Baseball is filled with intricate nuances and statistical probabilities that would numb the mind of a Klingon, who are most likely Football fans, but which are the delight of Vulcans. If the Romulans were to take up the game they would probably play it with a harder edge and more emotion than the Vulcans but would appreciate the logic of the game. Even still Benjamin Sisko and the ever present baseball on his desk are something that I appreciate.

The commanders of bases on the edge of empire that Sisko represents and the complexities of their commands are seldom recognized. Their jobs are not sexy, and most do not get picked to be Flag or General Officers. Those picks generally are reserved for those who command at sea or command maneuver units or if in the Air Force those who command Fighter or Bomber Wings. The men and women who command bases both in the United States and overseas fill an important role. While not glamorous they are the people that tend to be the face of the United States military and government wherever they are stationed. When they do their jobs well they go unnoticed, because what they do is not sexy. At the same time if they screw up it can be damaging for the country if overseas, or for the services if in the United States.

God bless all the Tom Allmon’s and Benjamin Sisko’s who deal with complex situations often in obscurity who through their patience, diplomacy and people skills care for their people, accomplish the mission and balance all within the confines of dealing with local communities and political nuances that most people cannot fathom.

Peace, Steve+

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Tagged as bajorans, Baseball, captain benjamin sisko, captain james t kirk, captain jean luc picard, captain kathryn janeway, cardassian empire, cardassians, cultural differences, deep space nine, ds9, fundamentalists, gul dukat, jazz, mr spock, najor, naval bases, new orleans, romulans, secularists, star tek next generation, star trek, star trek 2009, star trek the orignial series, star trek voyager, vulcans, worm hole

June 12, 2009 · 19:31

You Win a Few, You Lose a Few. Some Get Rained Out. But You Got to Dress for All of Them

“Ain’t no man can avoid being born average, but there ain’t no man got to be common.” Satchel Paige

Paige_Satchel1942 Satchel Paige on the Kansas City Monarchs

Negro League and Cleveland Indian’s Hall of Fame legend Satchel Paige was one of the most remarkable men who ever played the game of baseball. He came along after Jackie Robinson and others had broken the color barrier having played 22 years in the Negro Leagues as well as in Mexico, the Dominican Republic and the Puerto Rican League, where in the winter of 1939 he went 19-3 with a 1.93 ERA. While with the Kansas City Monarchs Paige helped lead the team to four consecutive Negro League World Series titles from 1939-1942 and again in 1946. During his time in the Negro Leagues played in numerous exhibition games against major league stars and future stars including Bob Feller and Joe DiMaggio who went 1-4 against Paige. During this time he would pitch in the summer with the Negro League team and winters in the various Winter Leagues. It could be said that Satchel Paige not only played baseball but lived it. In the Negro Leagues Paige often pitched twice a day, sometimes in two different cities. Record keeping in these leagues was almost universally lax so the feats of men like Paige, Jackie Robinson, Cool Papa Bell and Buck O’Neil will never be fully appreciated by modern statistically absorbed fans.

When he was signed by Bill Veeck, the owner of the Cleveland Indians he was either 42 or 44 years old depending on what documents you use…talk about a birth certificate controversy. Paige pitched 5 seasons in the Majors with Cleveland and the St. Louis Browns mainly in a relief role and pitched in the 1948 World Series and the 1953 All-Star Game after having been chosen for the 1952 game but not getting the chance play. He was signed by the Kansas City Athletics for a one game contract in 1965. He pitched his last game at the age of 59 or 61 on August 25^th 1965 throwing three shutout innings against the Boston Red Sox, the only hit coming from Hall of Famer Carl Yastrzemski who doubled. Paige set the next 7 batters down in order. In between his years in the majors Paige continued to pitch in the minors. He played his last game of organized baseball in 1966 for the Peninsula Pilots of the Carolina League in Hampton Virginia. The Pilots, now of the Independent Coastal Plain League, still play in Hampton’s War Memorial Stadium in which the legendary great pitched his last game.

Paige was recognized by many as perhaps the best pitcher to ever play the game. Bob Feller called him “the best pitcher I ever saw.” Ted Williams said “Satch (Paige) was the greatest pitcher in baseball.” Joe DiMaggio called him “The best and fastest pitcher I’ve ever faced” while Bill Veeck who brought Paige to the majors said he was “The best right hander baseball has ever known.”

The biggest thing in my mind about Paige was his love for the game and his determination to play as long as he could. In the Negro Leagues he pretty much played year round for 22 years. After his major league career was over he continued to play the game that he loved. He did all of this in a segregated and “Jim Crow” America. It was due primarily to Paige and others like him that black players got the chance to come to the Major Leagues. Most expected that Paige would be the first black player called up but this honor went to Jackie Robinson. In 1971 in his Hall of Fame acceptance speech he said “The only change is that baseball has turned Paige from a second class citizen to a second class immortal.”

I like Paige a lot. I remember reading Bob Feller’s book in grade school and his comments about Paige, especially the time he switched a bar of soap for the ice cream in a an ice cream sandwich. When Paige took a bit his false teeth came out with the sandwich. Now that I am 49 years old I like him even more. He took 22 years to get in the big leagues and didn’t quit and even after his major league career continued to play. He endured Spartan living conditions on low pay in a segregated and often hostile America did not deter him. Neither did his age, many men in their 40s would have quit before realizing their dream. That is the lesson of Satchel Paige for me. He was the oldest “rookie” ever to play Major League ball. I kind of understand what Paige went through. I started my Navy career after nearly a full Army career. In fact I was within 2 ½ years of Reserve retirement when I got the chance to serve in the Navy in February 1989.

Satchel Paige was an example to me that if you have the heart and talent you can achieve your dream even if it takes a long time. My advice for people who still dream dreams is to be persistent and don’t give up. Sometimes, not always, but sometimes by hanging in there, making the sacrifices to achieve the dream it comes true. After a very difficult 5 years following leaving the Army to go to seminary which included long term sickness to Judy, losing almost everything that we owned, and having to work menial jobs for unappreciative people to get through seminary, Additionally there were times when I was sure that it was over, that my best efforts had failed, something would break my way and I would be able to continue. It was remarkable. While I give appropriate credit to God I do not fail to give credit to all the people that believed in me and wouldn’t let me fail. The way that I figure is if you don’t try or you quit too soon you will always wonder if you could have made it. There will always be doubt and often regret. My Clinical Pastoral Education Supervisor, Dr. Steve Ivy at Parkland Memorial Hospital told me once, “Steve, you make your own future, stop living in the pain of the past.” That was an “Wow I could have had a V-8 moment” for me. It hasn’t always been easy, but it has been great. His advice was on target.

Satchel once said: “Work like you don’t need the money. Love like you’ve never been hurt. Dance like nobody’s watching.” The comment is way too true, but for me even more important is this: “You win a few, you lose a few. Some get rained out. But you got to dress for all of them.”

I think the Deity Herself would agree with both statements and I’m sure that Satchel is still pitching for the New Jerusalem Saints of the Pearly Gates League.

Peace, Steve+

satchel paige

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Tagged as baseball hall of fame, bill veeck, bob feller, boston red sox, buck o'neal, Carl Yastrzemski, carolina league, cleveland indians, cool papa bell, hampton va, jackie robinson, jim crow laws, joe dimaggio, kansas city athletics, kansas city monarchs, negor league baseball, parkland memorial hospital, peninsula pilots, satchel paige, segregation, st. Louis browns, ted williams

June 11, 2009 · 22:40

I like Jesus very much, but He no help with Curveball

pedrocerrano

“Ahh, Jesus, I like him very much, but He no help with curveball.” – Serrano (Denis Major League)

Note: This is one of those particularly passionate posts brought about by hearing about the abuse of a friend by his church and remembering things that happened to me and other friends at the hands of supposedly Christian leaders, ministries and organizations. So I probably hit a little harder than usual. Please excuse this, it is an old wound that got opened up again this week as I saw good Christian people lose a baby and a friend be maligned by ministers in his church.

I think I agree with Serrano in Major League. I like Jesus very much but He no help with curveball. I believe that God loves and cares for us but I do not believe that God servers at our command. I also strongly believe that Jesus died to redeem us and that we need to have some kind of walk with God. I know that I am too much of a screw up to get by without the grace of God and God’s mercy. Hopefully we follow as best we can God’s will for our lives and obey the commands to “love God and love our neighbor.” Patently, while not Rocket Surgery, this can be surprisingly difficult as all of us to some degree or another. I and I’m sure most who read this complicate the matter by narcissistically assuming that if we ask God something for any reason that God owes us. We are often taught that is we pray the right prayer, serve on the right boards in church, figure out what miraculous spiritual gifts that we assume the Holy Spirit has given to us, gave a certain amount of money, vote for the right political candidate, support the right cause, ad infinitum, ad nauseum that God is obligated to do what we want. The mandatory and obligatory tithe from the Old Testament Law is frequently used by Christians as a means to determine how much we have earned God’s blessing, by our obedience of course, among other things. There are plenty of other means by which Christians are held in bondage but this is common and unfortunately too often there is no accountabilty by ministers and minstries across the ecclesiastical spectrum for the sums that they recieve from those who support them.

What I find fascinating is how much many people assume that God is involved in the minute to minute details of their lives. It is as if some supercalifragilisticexpialidocious narcissistic form of hyper-Calvinism, baptized in Pentecostal fires has overtaken the faith. In fact I believe that we in the west, particularly the United States have gone to ludicrous speed in pursuit of self absorbed faith in which we use God as a cosmic vending machine of individual blessing. Evidence of this belief abounds in what is blatantly misidentified as ”worship” songs in which our needs, our desires and our love for God are magnified above God’s Holiness and condescension to become incarnate of the Virgin Mary and become Man. Somehow I think that we have the paradigm upside down. Do I believe that God loves us? I patently do. I know for a fact that I can never love God or serve God as much as God loves and cares for me, but I base this on God becoming incarnate in Jesus, the Son of God, born of the Virgin Mary, suffered under Pontius Pilate was crucified, died and buried, descended to the dead, who rose again on the third day, ascended into heaven and will come to judge the living and the dead, whose kingdom has no end. So yes, indeed, even to death I will believe this. However, this does not mean that I believe that if I do the right stuff that God is obligated to do things for me. Likewise I do not believe that God really cares a whit if I ever hit a curveball. He speaks to me through baseball but only through hard work and the coaching of my dad was I a decent utility player. When I told my dad when I visited him in the nursing home that he didn’t teach me how to hit, he told me that “you have to have the natural ability, lots of people can’t hit.” Despite his advanced Alzheimer’s disease dad understood that no amount of instruction or even prayer was going to make me a good hitter.

Unfortunately this is often the faith as marketed by alleged Christian “ministries,” churches and retail establishments. All you do is have to go down to whatever “Christian” bookstore chain has a outlet in your town. I remember a day when actual Bible studies that dealt with God and not us were available in Christian bookstores. Now if you actually like me, have walked around one of these places of edification you will fill racks upon racks of “Christian” fiction, often romance novels without any hint of sex or sensuality, which is a shame since the Bible doesn’t leave it out; variations on the theme of what happens to the poor suckers who forget to pray the prayer to get saved in time before the rapture when the slick Anti-Christ comes after them. Likewise they are filled with all manner of “Jesus junk” usually made in China because the alleged Christians running the company care more about the almighty dollar than they do caring for workers in their own country. Allegedly Christian television networks and ministries consume hundreds of millions of dollars in money, given by people who actually believe that the people running them are actually hearing from God, This money could actually be used to plant churches, do mission work, care for the poor and sick and also pay Christian workers a living wage. I have lost count of the number of friends who have sacrificed everything including their lives to support ministries which threw them away when they were spent. I have seen workers in Christian ministries have to rely on charity because they were not paid enough while the “Christian leaders” that they worked for lived in luxury on the donations which came from the toil, labor and love of people who trusted them. The litany of the names some of these people reads like a sorry story out of Inside Edition. Peter Popoff, Creflo Dollar, Larry Lea, Bob Tilton, Benny Hinn, yes Benny, while others have turned themselves into almost purely political power players. I could go on, but to what purpose? My point is that many ministries, and not just the big ones, will hold their workers in near servitude and attempt to manipulate intimate details of their lives.

I find the message of many of these alleged “ministries” or ministers to be in absolute contradiction to the Gospel, which if I recall was to set us free from the bondage of sin, death and the Law. In fact if I recall Jesus didn’t go beating on politicians, tax collectors, prostitutes, and a host of other undesirables, but instead went after judgmental, legalistic and self serving religious leaders who abused their power and position. I have seen in person such people curry the favor of the rich and neglect the poor. I have seen people, including faithful Christian workers be ostracized and abandoned when they experienced circumstances and tragedy that do not fit the narcissistic prosperity gospel theology of their churches or ministries. Even worse is what happens when one of the lesser people falls into “sin.” Especially sexual sins while things like greed, gluttony, dishonest business dealings and a host of other things are ignored. It is onerous when the Church refuses to take care of its own. To save embarrassment of people who might read this I will not go into specifics only to say I have seen this happen and even experienced it myself.

The unfortunate underside of this is the effect that the theology has on the people who buy it hook line and sinker. Such people are victims of predators dressed as ministers. I’m sure that even if the ministries that they serve do not honor or care for them that God will still honor their work and sacrifice, if not in this life the next. Yet, it is criminal for church leaders, ministers and heads of supposedly “Christian” organizations and ministries” to leave faithful servants of God in the lurch when things don’t fit their theology. When we were in absolute crisis in 1989, wife sick, house and car lost, and all coming apart while in my second year of seminary I hit the wall. I decided to call the prayer line of the Terrible Blonde Network. I was desperate and hurting as I saw all I had sacrificed for going down the toilet. When I told the female “prayer partner” my story and asked for prayer she said something that I will ever forget. It is etched in my mind to this day. In a sickening sweet voice, this woman who did not know me from Tommy Lasorda, or Adam for that manner said: “Well it’s obvious that God can’t be calling you into ministry otherwise he would be blessing you.” I was stunned, but something rose up in my heart that said that she and those who thought like her espoused a theology from the pit of Hell. I told her that I didn’t need her prayer and that I would be content to suffer as the saints before me.

Now do I believe that God cares about details? Yes. Do I believe that God loves each of us with an undying and everlasting faithful love? Yes. Do I believe that he is obligated to do anything for me other than the gracious love that he bestows every day? No. Do I think or presume that God must do things my way because I have somehow got the formula of some preacher’s personal interpretation of a few Bible verses right? No way. It is unscriptural, is not supported by the testimony of 2000 years of the church and is nothing more than the deception and abuse of good people who really want to serve God.

I pray and trust that someday Christian leaders and churches will have the integrity and character to care for people, especially those that serve in subordinate positions.

Do I think that Jesus needs to help me hit a curve ball? I think so, but I think that this might be unreasonable on my part, and so far he hasn’t. Thus, if I want to hit the curve ball, I’ll have to do it myself.

Peace, Steve+

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Tagged as alzheimer's disease, benny hinn, bob tilton, denis hayburt, inside edition, jesus, larry lea, major league, prosperity gospel, serrano, sins, TBN, terrible blonde network

June 8, 2009 · 23:32

Outlasting everyone else…The value of Longevity in One’s Chosen Vocation

Soldier Once and Young Forward Observer 1982

“I want to stay around longer than the pitchers who were at the top when I came into the big leagues. I don’t want to be gone and have all the old guys — Seaver, Carlton, Ryan and Sutton — still pitching. I got rid of Palmer, now I want to outlast the rest of them.” Bert Blyleven

Bert Blyleven

I have come to value longevity in my career. In fact I did not plan on this when I enlisted in 1981, but I am am coming up on 28 years on the military. I enlisted in August of 1981 and was commissioned in July of 1983. In 1988 I left active duty and went to the National Guard for seminary and my Clinical Pastoral Education Residency at Parkland Memorial Hospital, the Knife and Gun club in the friendly city of Dallas Texas. I became a chaplain in 1992. I ended up resigning my commission as a Major in the Army Reserve back in 1999 to enter the Navy. I’ve been in the Navy now a bit over 10 years.

My plan back in the day was to spend 20 years or more on active duty in the Army and retire as a Lieutenant Colonel or Colonel and then go teach history or military science somewhere. Things took a very different course. The Deity Herself somehow had other plans for this at times miscreant Priest.

At the Berlin Wall, the East Side, November 1986

I can relate to Bert Blyleven’s comments. When I entered the Army in 1981 a lot of folks that I knew had been around for Vietnam and Korea. My early mentors were all Vietnam vets. I’m pretty sure that almost all of the people that I came in with are now retired or out of the service. In fact I cannot think of any of the men and women that I was commissioned with in 1983 who still are in the service. Likewise, most of the guys that were senior when I entered the Navy are either out or maybe coming up on their last tour. It is my desire like Blyleven to outlast all those guys who were Commanders and Captains when I came in ten years ago. I like this longevity thing. I play hard so to speak and love what I do. It is kind of like, well heck; it is getting a chance to do what I know I am called to do. For me a second chance because I thought that I would finish my Army career in the obscurity of the Reserves and never get to do what I really wanted to do. In a sense I am a journeyman who through a lot of ups and downs has finally come into his own. There is a player named Oscar Salazar who was just called up this weekend from the Norfolk Tides to the Orioles. Oscar is one of my favorite players. He is a journeyman who has spent most of his career in the minors. This year he came into his own. He was hitting about .380 and was having a great year in Norfolk. He deserves to be in the majors. If he can’t stay up with Baltimore then I hope that another team will deal for him. When you see him on the on deck circle talking to younger players you can tell that he enjoys playing the game. He hustles and plays hard. I hope that he does well for the Birds while he is up for Caesar Izturis.

Wedding Wedding Day 25 June 1983

There is something to longevity in one’s chosen calling. You get to see a lot, do a lot and experience a lot that other people only get to dream of doing. When you do what you love and then are blessed to get to do it as long as I have in two military services, the Army and the Navy, you can count yourself fortunate. There is a certain satisfaction that I have when you look at my career in the long term and see that I have lasted 28 years and that I am still going strong.

In a sense I am a relic, though unlike most of my relic contemporaries I am still relatively junior in rank. I enlisted at the height of the Cold War a couple of years after the Soviets had invaded Afghanistan and the followers of the Ayatollah Khomeini had overthrown the Shah of Iran, over 8 years prior to the fall of the Berlin Wall. I have been to what I call the “Commie Trifecta,” East Berlin, Panmunjom Korea and Guantanamo Bay Cuba. I have served in Europe, Asia and the Middle East, at sea and ashore as well as an exchange officer. I have not always been a chaplain. I have commanded a company in Europe during the cold war. I have served multiple tours with the Marines, served on a great ship, the USS HUE CITY and done more in my career than I had ever imagined possible. I am grateful for the experiences that I have been blessed with and even the adversity has made me stronger and wiser, even the times that I have had my ass kicked by it.

Boarding Party Operation Enduring Freedom April-May 2002

Most of the people who have been in the military as long as me are very senior officers or non-commissioned officers. Thankfully, I still have a relatively young appearance for someone my age, which was enhanced when I shaved the pitiful remnant of graying hair from my now pristine head. Likewise I stay in pretty good shape. I actually want to start playing baseball or softball in some old guy league when I have the time. People say that I appear and act younger than I am. The acting part is no lie, I have not really grown up, and I’m still a kid at heart. I like to have fun and see humor in life even sometimes in the midst of tragedy, which I have seen a fair amount of in my life.

Today was another 13 hour day at work. Thankfully my department director had taken my duty over the weekend and in a sense sat me down for a game. We have a couple of kids doing really bad in one of my units. The last couple of hours were spent working with the families of both of these kids and spending time with our staff. I also ended up doing country clearances for my boss and I to make a trip out of the US to work with chaplains from another country concerning the people that they are sending into our Pastoral Care Residency Program. This later thing I have never done before, though I have supplied information plenty of times for others to do my requests. I was talking to my buddy Elliott the usher of section 102, of which I have seat 102, row B, seat 2. We were talking about baseball and life, which is pretty much par for the course with us. We were talking about situations that I deal with at work and he said to me, “no wonder you come here to relax.” It is true. I have learned that I need to take some time for me, it is imperative for my health if I want to keep myself in the game and like Bert Blyleven outlast the guys who were at the top of their game when I came in. I have pretty much outlasted most of my Army contemporaries, now I’m working on outlasting Navy guys.

Me and BTT with Bedouin Kids Out on the Syrian Border with the Bedouin

I have come to like Blyleven. He is one of the more under appreciated pitchers who played the game. He had 287 wins and pitched 242 complete games with a career 3.31 ERA and over 3700 strike outs, 5^th on the all-time strike-out list. He played on 3 All-Star Teams and in 2 World Series. He played on a lot of really bad teams which probably kept him from winning even more games, yet he is not in the Hall of Fame. At the same time he did outlast the majority of his contemporaries pitching 22 years in the major leagues. In a sense I want to be kind of like that. I want to outlast folks and both do well and have fun when I do it. I want my last season, or tour in the Navy to be my best.

Pirates Orioles Baseball Oscar Salazar

I hope that Bert Blyleven makes the Hall of Fame and that Oscar Salazar makes it in the Majors. As for me, I just want to do well and have fun doing it while helping as many of the young guys as possible.

Peace, Steve+

Note: Tomorrow I will be taking part in a memorial service and celebration of life for Senior Chief Pam Branum. She was a great shipmate and tomorrow our Medical Center as well as her many friends will remember he life and say goodbye.

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Tagged as afghanistan, Army, ayatolahs, baltimore Orioles, baseball hall of fame, bert blyleven, career longevity, clinical pastoral education, cold war, compnay commander, east berlin, guantanamo bay, harbor park, khoemeni, navy, norfolk tides, oscar salazar, pannmunjon, seminary, senior chief pamela branum, us marines, uss hue city

June 7, 2009 · 22:48

Everybody has a Pitch Count…Good Managers Know When You’ve Reached It

Everybody has a pitch count, be they a baseball pitcher or a military, police or critical care health provider. At some point one can push themselves so hard that they can injure themselves or if not that start making mental mistakes that cost games for a pitcher or lives to people in military, public safety or critical care medicine. In baseball managers have to make sure that their pitchers don’t wear themselves down. It is very easy for a pitcher, especially a hard thrower to wear out early from overuse causing injury. At times hard throwers, or for that matter any pitcher can over pitch. They can try to do too much. At first this may not be noticeable, maybe they lose a little bit off of their fastball or their curve ball may not be as sharp. The pitcher may shake it off and tell his coaches and trainers that nothing is wrong. They do this for a couple of reasons. First, they are competitors; they want to do the job that they have to do. Second, they don’t want to admit that something is wrong with them be it a possible physical injury or maybe even a mental issue which is keeping them from getting good control of their pitches. Of course the physical wear and tear on pitcher is brutal. The physical punishment of throwing a baseball 80-100 mph on the arm, especially the elbow and shoulder is brutal. The amount of torque applied to these joints is severe. If a pitcher is using incorrect technique or has thrown too many pitches the effects can be devastating to his career.

While I am not a pitcher, when I played I was a utility infielder and catcher, I do think that everyone has something to learn about life and work from managers, pitchers and knowing when a pitcher is suffering from overuse injuries or has lost his physical or mental edge. The manager has to know when the pitcher has reached his pitch count and when it is time to pull him even if the pitcher wants to stay in the game. The same is true with anyone who serves in military, police or intensive medical professions such as EMS, Emergency Rooms and Intensive Care units. This became apparent to me over the past year and a quarter since I returned from Iraq. I am now 49 years old. I stay in pretty good shape and physically can still outperform many younger people in such things as push-ups, sit-ups and running. I pretty much know my physical limitations especially coming back from Iraq with some physical and emotional scars. I work in ICUs and if my life as a chaplain was limited to simply doing that work on the floor I could do it forever. I thrive in the environment and actually am more at ease on an ICU or in an ER than I am on general patient floors or doing administrative tasks. However, those are also part of my life. So I have to achieve a balance. I am usually pretty good at knowing when it is time to tell my manager, in this case our director of pastoral care that I am not doing well. Yet, sometimes even when I know I’m not doing well I won’t stop. I will push myself to the point of physical and emotional collapse. I hit this point last week following a month of family illness, end of life planning for my dad, a medical emergency with Judy and several very demanding weeks at work where I put in a huge amount of hours because the job had to get done. I hate to leave something undone or have to leave something for someone else to do. I don’t like to be taken out of a game. My first Navy tour after 17 ½ years in the Army I was my Division Chaplain’s relief pitcher. I ended up taking several battalions because their chaplains either got in trouble or were pulled for another assignment. Likewise I was given the task of working with young guys who had run into some kind of trouble to see if they could be salvaged.

A good manager has to recognize when his pitcher is having problems before he gets in trouble. Until the advent of relief pitchers that were primarily relief pitchers and not washed up former starters, they generally pitched deep into a game. As such many racked up huge numbers of wins, strike outs and complete games. In fact most of the top ten are guys that pitched when it was almost unheard of to bring in a reliever. Thus there are men like Cy Young who won 511 games, Walter Johnson with 473 wins and Grover Cleveland Alexander and Christy Matthewson who won 373 each. Young played 22 years and had a record of 511 wins and 316 losses. He pitched 7356 innings. He played in 906 games, started 815 games and had 749 complete games. No wonder the award for best pitcher is named after him. Cardinals Hall of Fame pitcher Bob Gibson started 482 games and completed 255 of them. In 1969 he won 20 games, 13 of which were shut outs. Gibson once reportedly said: “I used to get tired in the seventh inning too. And the manager would come to the mound and ask me if I wanted to come out. Then I would look over at the bullpen and see who was warming up. Then I would say, ‘No, I’m going to stay in.”

As baseball moved forward teams began to have more depth on their pitching staffs. Rotations were developed where pitchers pitched every 4^th game, and frequently in our era every 5^th game. Additionally since the 1970s the specialist relief pitcher has become a key part of the game. While there were relievers prior to that, the relief pitcher as a specialist did not really get off the ground until Rollie Fingers of the Oakland A’s won salary arbitration against A’s owner Charlie Finely. At that point pitchers who could come into a game on no notice in certain situations became more and more a trend. Now it is standard for a team to have long, middle and short relief specialist as well as “Closers.”

In a sense while some people may not like it, it is not a bad thing for the game. One only has to look at how many pitchers had abbreviated careers o of overuse injuries including Sandy Koufax and Dizzy Dean who are both in the Hall of Fame. If you look you can find others. This was especially true before the advent of “Tommy John surgery” when pitchers with a torn rotator cuff faced the end of their careers. As such teams became much more aware of how many pitches a starting pitcher and even relievers should throw in a game. The pitch count was developed. For a healthy starting pitcher in the middle of a season this is usually around 100 pitches. Relief pitcher counts will vary. While pitch counts are not necessarily the Gospel, there is a point in every pitcher’s career where he hits his own pitch count limit, be it in a game or a career. As Whitey Ford said: “Sooner or later the arm goes bad. It has to…Sooner or later you have to start pitching in pain.”

So you may be asking what does something arcane like the mechanics, kinetics and injuries have to do with life. As you know the Deity Herself speaks to me through baseball. This has application to those in high stress jobs where they are called on to put their lives on the line for others or deal with danger, death or tragedy in an environment where just one mistake can be fatal or where a word, gesture or throw away comment can harm someone else. The managers, supervisors or commanders of people who do such work have to be cognizant of the effects of this on their people.

I am luck, the Deity Herself has surrounded me with a number of people who can look at me and tell me to sit down even when I want to continue to keep pushing. Last Friday was one of those days. It was the culminating point of a nearly a month of personal and professional stress, lack of sleep and the lingering effects of my PTSD and chronic pain which flare up when I have exceeded my personal pitch count. My boss was away last week. However we remained in communication. I was scheduled for weekend duty, which for me I remain in house because I am not able for the most part to meet the response time for a emergency call. When my boss came back he must have checked in with several folks who k now me to see how they thought I was doing. Friday afternoon after I got home I got a call from the acting department head who told me to stay at home that my boss was going to pull my duty for me. I really needed this. However, I told him that I still could come in if needed and was told to stay home and take care of myself.

With a manager like that I will be able to keep playing my game longer. I may have occasional rough outings but I will do fine. The lesson is that everybody has their own personal “pitch count” even if they do not throw a baseball. Like my favorite theologian Harry Callahan says: “A man’s got to know his limitations.”

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Tagged as baseabll, bob gibson, charley finley, christy matthewson, cy young, dizzy dean, ER, grover cleveland alexander, harry callahan, icu, pitch counts, relief pitchers, rollie fingers, sandy koufax, starting pitchers, Tommy John Surgery, whitey ford

June 5, 2009 · 19:32

D-1 Bobbing About, We Made Too Many Wrong Mistakes and Thank God for Good Managers

June 5^th 1944 should have been D-Day. Instead because of a ferocious storm that descended across the English Channel it was a day from hell on the seas for the assault troops embarked aboard troop transports, landing ships and landing craft. Now those who have never ridden out a storm at sea on anything smaller than an Aircraft Carrier or modern Cruise Ship cannot understand what the thousands and thousands of land-lubber soldiers on those ships and craft went through. In fact they cannot understand what the sailors on the very largest of the Operation Overlord armada the battleships USS Nevada, Texas, and Arkansas while the British battleships Rodney, Warspite and Ramillies also were on hand. Most of the ships in the invasion were far smaller, cruisers averaged 9000-10,000 tons, destroyers about 1,500 tons. I have served on a 9,600 ton Ticonderoga Class Aegis Guided Missile Cruiser, the USS HUE City. I have also been embarked on the USS Agerholm DD-826, a WWII era Gearing Class destroyer, and a number of other ships including landing ships such as the USS Frederick, LST-1184 and USS Mount Vernon, LSD-39. I have ridden all of these in somewhat sporty conditions. I have never been seasick. However, even seasoned sailors can be sick as a dog and hurl chunks in heavy seas. I have also been a member of a boarding party and had seas come up on us while we were away from our ship. In heavy seas things can get sporty. When I was on Hue City we hit such heavy seas that we experienced a hull fracture that required emergency repairs and a short port call. My Skipper had me go down and bless the repairs with Holy Water. We also made a transit down the Arabian Peninsula with a Cyclone on our beam. We took 15-18 foot seas on the beam for three days. Believe me Aegis cruisers are top-heavy and do not ride well in high seas. We had an epidemic of chunks during that period. Likewise even a few injuries from crew members that were thrown around. Likewise, the soldiers had to make transfers down nets and Jacob’s ladders in heavy seas. This also can be a bit sporty. It is just a tad bit exciting to jump from the deck of a ship onto a boat which is going up and down about 6-10 feet at a time. Since I have jumped from a ship that was moving to a wildly bouncing boat; my hat goes off to the land lubber soldiers who jumped from ships to landing craft in heavy seas at D-Day.

Hue City’s Sister Ship the USS Vicksburg plowing through heavy seas. We were doing the same thing

Since the ships at D-Day were far less advanced, and the largest battleship, the Rodney was only 35,000 tons, or about half the displacement of the average modern cruise ship and one third that of a US CVN. Now imagine soldiers who have never been to sea except for the trip across the Atlantic to get to England, who were riding ships and landing craft of minuscule displacement. These guys suffered, in fact many prayed to land because fighting the Germans on the beaches would be easier than what they experienced at sea.

777px-Unidentified_Allen_M_Sumner_class_destroyer_in_heavy_seas_during_Typhoon_Cobra Unidentified WWII Sumner Class Destroyer Taking Heavy Seas

So when you remember the epic events of D-Day remember that the American, British, Canadian and French Soldiers who landed on those hallowed beaches named Utah, Omaha, Juno, Gold and Sword had eaten little, hurled more and endured a hellish ride just to get shot at when they landed on the beaches. Having been shot at in Iraq I can say that it is not something that I want to do after being sick and puking my guts out. However, that might be better than puking. I have never enjoyed that…what a bulimic sees in this I do not know.

Yogi Berra once said: “We made too many wrong mistakes.” I absolutely hate making mistakes, I like to be right and I want my work to reflect excellence. The past couple of days the Deity Herself has reminded me that even I am human. The past two weeks I have worked about 132 hours, like who is counting, hours at our medical center. Part of this was due to being on duty and the other because I had to remain because of mission requirements. I had done pretty well until yesterday when at the end of the day I locked my keys in the office. I never do this, how the hell I did it I will never know, except that I had a brain fart because I was tired and pushing myself to handle a multiplicity of administrative and clinical duties over the week. Well, that was not all, my wrong mistakes continued. This morning I woke up, however since I didn’t sleep well this was not a great thing, except for the fact that I did not read my name in the obituaries of either the Virginia Pilot or the Stockton Record. I use my cell phone as my alarm clock. I have a ritual to go to work. I set what I am going to wear in one spot, pockets loaded, beat in the loops. I set my cell as my alarm and as soon as I wake up I put the stupid phone in my pocket so I will not forget it. Somehow today I didn’t do this last little bit. My phone was at home. I was so busy and tired that I didn’t notice this little omission. As I drove out of the parking garage I searched for my phone. What the hell it wasn’t there where I was sure that I had placed it. I turned my silver 2001 Honda CR-V around and drove back into the parking garage. I retraced my steps. Going to my office I called my phone. No answer. Crap. My next stop was Dr Maggard’s office. Interrupting him while he was on the phone I found the phone was not there. Damned again, double crap. Next stop was the head where I had deposited my recently rented coffee. One can never buy coffee only take a short term rental. Of course it was not there and I was damned yet again, in my exhaustion I was thinking crazy thoughts. So I went to the little Navy exchange where I had picked up a Diet Dr. Pepper for the trip home. Maude the cashier said I didn’t leave it there either. Damned, Damned, double damned and even triple damned I was pissed. I went up to the Critical Care Department Head’s office, damned even more, no phone. Crap, I was really getting upset, someone probably had it and was using. So I went to Pediatric ICU to see if by some chance I had left it there. I asked my buddy Cinda and others if they had seen it. The answer was no and I was yet again damned. So I called the phone one more time and Judy picked it up. I said “have you seen my phone?” She then said “I’m talking to you on it.” Damn, damn, damn, damn, damn and crap. I could have had a freaking V-8. I knew at this point that I was toast.

Not a Happy Camper: Too Many Wrong Mistakes

Between this comedy of errors I was working on Chief Branum’s memorial service bulletin with Commander Judy, one of our senior Nurse Corps Officers. We had it set; all I had to do was finish the bio. This I did as Commander Judy went up to work with Chief’s best friend. One problem. I was tired and had multi-tasked my ass off. Trying to answer two different phone calls, and two separate e-mails I started trying to close out the 95 different windows that I had open on my computer. I was damned yet again, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap and crap. In the process of closing all the windows I had not saved my document. All the work was gone. My brain was fried and I was pissed at myself for making so many far too many wrong mistakes. Thankfully, Commander Judy had remembered what was on the program and with the template that I provided was able to put it back together. She helped save my ass. I finally got home and was absolutely bushed.

The Deity Herself has made sure that I am taken care of even in times like this. I was scheduled for duty this weakened. For me, since I live at the cusp of the 30 minute response time I remain on campus. However, I got a call from our deputy command chaplain who told me that our Department Head, who had just returned from leave had told me to stay home that he would take my duty. Thank God for managers who who know when a pitcher has reached his limit. My boss is like this. He knows when to pull me out of the game before things get out of hand. I was making far too many wrong mistakes of exceptionally simple nature. I am really grateful for him. Once again the Deity herself looked out for this miscreant but very tired Priest.

Peace and blessings, Steve+

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Filed under Baseball, History, Loose thoughts and musings, Military, Navy Ships, PTSD

Tagged as aegis cruiser, arabian peninsula, beach, cyclone, D-Day, HMS Ramillies, HMS Rodney, HMS Warspite, juno beach, landing craft, lost cell phones, Omaha beach, senior chief pamela branum, sword beach, ticonderoga class, USS Arkansas, uss frederick, uss hue city, uss mount vernon, USS Nevada, USS Texas, utah, we made too many wrong mistakes, yogi berra

June 4, 2009 · 22:26

Turning Points: The Battle of Midway, Randy Johnson Gets his 300th Win and Chief Branum Gets Her Star

Well, here I am finishing day four of a twelve day home stand at the Medical Center. It has been pretty busy but hopefully in the end it will all be worth it as we care for patients, family and staff, train our Pastoral Care Residents and remember a dear Shipmate. It is also a day that we remember the gallant few who won the Battle of Midway from 4-7 June 1942.

naval-battle-of-midway SBD Dauntless Dive Bombers at Midway

Today, for those that are not that familiar with Naval history is the 67^th anniversary of the Battle of Midway. The battle was the point where the U.S. Navy in spite of extremely heavy odds defeated a Japanese fleet far greater than it. Had the United States lost at Midway the Japanese would have has such an advantage that they could have dictated the terms of an armistice in the Pacific.

The battle was a near run thing for the U.S. Taking the chance that his intelligence service was correct in determining that Midway Island was the target of the anticipated Japanese attack. Three US aircraft carriers, the Yorktown, Enterprise and Hornet supported by a handful of cruisers and destroyers faced the majority of the Japanese fleet. Led by the First Carrier Strike Group composed of the carriers Akagi, Kaga, Hiryu and Soryu the Japanese expected to sweep the handful of American ships from the sea. After a strike against Midway Island and turning back abortive American attacks by land based aircraft and the Torpedo Bomber squadrons from the three American flattops it seemed that all was going the Japanese way. The Americans had suffered heavy casualties. Most of Midway’s land based fighters were shot down defending the Island. Land based attack squadrons lost half of their number, and the three American Torpedo Bomber Squadrons from the Yorktown, Enterprise and Hornet were decimated. Flying underpowered, under armed and under armored TBD Devastator’s they were overwhelmed by the Japanese combat air patrol Mitsubishi A6M2 (Type-21) “Zeros.” Torpedo-8 from the Hornet lost all 15 aircraft with only one survivor, Ensign George Gay. Torpedo-3 from Yorktown and Torpedo-6 from Enterprise lost most of their aircraft. However the sacrifice of the Torpedo squadrons was not in vain.

The Japanese strike group under the command of Admiral Nagumo was confused by scouting reports about the status of American ships in the area. The confusion led to disorder even as the Japanese were destroying the American Torpedo squadrons. Finally the Japanese force was ready to start launch against the American task force. Just as their carriers turned into the wind the American SBD Dauntless Dive Bombers, from the Enterprise and Yorktown Squadrons dove upon the Japanese carriers. The Japanese combat air patrol was down low mopping up the remnants of the Torpedo squadrons. The Japanese carriers were at their most vulnerable point. With fully armed and fueled aircraft on their deck and hanger bays and with hastily discarded bombs still on deck the Akagi, Kaga and Soryu received fatal blows. Admiral Nagumo, stunned by the attack abandoned his dying flagship, the Akagi for the light cruiser Nagara. Admiral Tamaguchi on Hiryu valiantly continued to fight. He launched his “Val” Dive Bombers against the Americans. They found the Yorktown. Despite grievous losses they scored hits and thought that they had crippled the Yorktown. The crew valiantly recovered, restored power and propulsion and was back in action. The Japanese then sent out a squadron of “Kate” Torpedo Bombers in search of the Enterprise and Hornet. Instead they found a seemingly undamaged Yorktown which they mistook for another ship. Again despite heavy losses they scored hits and Yorktown was abandoned. As this played out Diver Bombers from Hornet and Enterprise found Hiryu and hit her with six 500 pound bombs. Fatally hit Hiryu was abandoned.

mikuma

Finally the day came to an end. On the 6^th the Japanese Cruiser Mikuma was sunk by American Dive Bombers and on the 7^th the Yorktown which had been re-boarded and was being salvaged was sunk along with the Destroyer Hammann was sunk by the Japanese Submarine I-168 while being towed from the battle area. In all the Japanese lost 4 of their best carriers, all embarked aircraft and a Heavy Cruiser. The loss, especially of trained pilots was devastating to the Japanese. Within two months the Americans were beginning a counter offensive at Guadalcanal. Midway was what historian Walter Lord called the “Incredible Victory,” and is known by some as the “Miracle at Midway.” The Battle was a major turning point in the Pacific War. Despite the losses the Japanese still held a major advantage over the Americans. The Guadalcanal campaign would grind down Japanese forces.

Midway is important. It showed what a smaller and less capable fleet could decisively defeat a larger and better trained and equipped force. It was also the “high water mark” of the Japanese in the Pacific. Today and for the next three days it is important to remember the heroes of the Battle of Midway.

Giants Nationals Baseball Randy Johnson

Today also was the day that Randy Johnson, the “Big Unit” pitched his 300^th Major League win, joining only 23 others who have achieved this milestone. John scored most of his victories with the Mariners and Diamondbacks. It was interesting for me as a Giants fan as he won his 300^th with the Giants.

Finally, an addition to last night: Chief Hospital Corpsman Pamela Branum who passed away on deployment will be posthumously promoted to Senior Chief Petty Officer having been selected for promotion by the latest board. She had worked hard for this and deserved it. Her promotion will be read at her Memorial Service on Tuesday June 9^th at Naval Medical Center Portsmouth. She will be buried with honors at Arlington National Cemetery at a later date. Senior Chief Branum will be missed by all. I spend most of today with her co-workers and friends. She was a special person. I did not know her for long, but both really liked her and was honored to serve with her. May God bless her and give her peace.

chief branum Senior Chief Hospital Corpsman Pamela Branum

Into your hands, O merciful Savior, we commend your servant Pamela Branum. Acknowledge, we humbly beseech you, a sheep of your own fold, a lamb of your own flock, a sinner of your own redeeming. Receive her into the arms of your mercy, into the blessed rest of everlasting peace, and into the glorious company of the saints in light. Amen.

Peace, Steve+

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Filed under Baseball, Loose thoughts and musings, Military, Navy Ships

Tagged as A6M Zero, arlington national cemetary, battle of midway, Chief Petty Officer Pam Branum, ensign george gay, IJS Akagi, IJS Hiryu, IJS Kaga, IJS Soryu, pitchers with 300 wins, randy johnson, san fransisco giants, SBD Dauntless, TBD Devastator, torpedo 8, uss enterprise cv-6, uss hornet cv-8, uss yorktown cv-5

June 3, 2009 · 17:14

Mid-Week Review-The Loss of a Shipmate, Hospital Duty is Not Easy and No Rational Thought Goes Unpunished

Today has been tough, actually it began yesterday. We lost a dear shipmate this week. Hospital Corpsman Chief Pam Branum passed away while deployed on the USNS Comfort while on a humanitarian deployment. She was the Leading Chief Petty Officer for our Critical Care Department, a great leader, genuinely nice person, and dear friend to many in our department. She was passionate about her work and her people. She set high standards for herself and worked hard to make sure that her Corpsmen were trained and became good not only what they do, but to help develop them as leaders with character. She supported the nursing staff that she worked with as a friend and mentor. She was like a mom to a lot of our staff. Her loss at the age of 41 was shocking. This has been a tough year for us in the Medical Center, back in April we lost a 4^th Year Medical Student who just in a few weeks would have become a physician and started his internship and residency here. We have lost a number of other staff members, active duty and civilian since December. When we lose them we lose part of our family. Those who have never served in the military cannot fully fathom how losses like this affect the rest of us. I will be working with our staff and helping to plan Chief’s memorial service and maybe depending on the location the funeral. Chief Branum will be sorely missed, I am still somewhat in shock. Please keep her family, friends and co-workers in your prayers. A link to the Blog of the Executive Officer of the USNS Comfort is here: http://comfort-xo.blogspot.com/2009/06/thank-you-chief-may-you-rest-in-peace.html?showComment=1244112525886#c1602797664780974312

Another aspect of this difficult year is the number of our military staff being deployed. Our “deployers” support current operations in Iraq, the Gulf, Horn of Africa and the Afghanistan surge. Many have already been deployed, are getting ready to do so or are waiting for word. Many have made other combat deployments in Iraq either with the Marines, Expeditionary Medical Facilities and Shock and Trauma units. Sometimes they are sent on joint assignments helping train Afghan and Iraqi medical personnel. Additionally they do humanitarian work in the combat zones in cooperation with Army and Air Force medical personnel. Some of these Sailors have lost their lives after leaving home and the supposed security of a hospital assignment. It is sometimes frustrating to listen to those who do not work in a place like this refer to hospital duty as easy. Our clinicians deal with life and death every day here and are called upon to deploy at a moment’s notice. They fight for life every day and sometimes when things go badly are as traumatized by the events as people in combat. It’s hard to watch someone die or suffer and realize that sometimes you can’t win. There are deaths, especially of children that I cannot get out of my head and I know from my relationships with physicians and nursing staff that they also have similar experiences. Programs are being developed to help people before they become victims of operational stress, but these are just getting off the ground. Please keep these heroes in your prayers.

I think today I was also a victim of my logical and reasonable brain. I am now a declared enemy of at least one person in the anti-abortion movement. I invested myself heavily the past three days in discussing the events of this weekend in Kansas. I will not regurgitate this here, read those posts. However there is something interesting. I basically had someone comment that “they knew whose side I was on” and pretty much labeled me as someone who is not pro-life. If they knew me they would know otherwise, but some people cannot take even constructive criticism of tactics and strategy. Sorry but the confrontational strategy has not worked over a 30 year period and the escalation of rhetoric and violence will get the whole pro-life movement labeled as a domestic terrorist organization. Hell, even David Kupelian of the ultra conservative news site World Net Daily and I agree on this.

The guy who posted to my blog even used a line that was eerily reminiscent of Colonel Jessup in A Few Good Men. “What happened to the “doctor” was wrong, it probably saved hundreds of lives.” (Comment on yesterday’s post) The person who wrote this has adopted an end’s versus means situational ethic to make the leap that the murder while wrong is okay because it stopped one person from doing abortions. Unfortunately that strategy will not stop others from doing abortions and may very well in fact lead to the dismemberment of the legislative gains of the mainstream pro-life movement which guess what will happen? It will lead to more abortions. If you make your living by fighting abortion like Randall Terry does this is a good thing. You won’t lack for work or money unless however you are doing time in a Federal penitentiary as a domestic terrorist. That aside it means as long as abortion is legal you can keep drawing a paycheck to fight it. That is the kind of thing that makes me suspicious of Mr. Terry’s motives. You use the same tactics for 30 years without any real change to the situation and then say we have to keep doing this. I have to wonder when I see this. Is Mr. Terry truly committed to life or is this a means to stay in the spotlight? I’m not accusing, just wondering. I have met Randall on a number of occasions, never by the way at any rally or event, and he can be charming. Personally he seems like a good guy to go out and get a beer with and maybe even engage in spirited discussions. However, his actions have planted a seed of doubt in my mind about his motives. If he is really committed to the pro-life cause of saving babies why does he stick with tactics that only drive potential supporters away from him? He seems to me like Generals in wars who decide to take some enemy strongpoint. They make an attack and it fails and they continue to do so until they bleed themselves dry and eventually lose the battle. The real progress in the right to life movement has not been through protest. Instead it has been through prayer, practical help to women in need and legislative efforts of pro-life men and women committed to working through legal means. These people do not vilify thier opposite numbers but seek engagement and redemption and reconcilliation. I made sure that I allowed the comment so others can see just how this mindset plays out when guys like this judge people on the pro-life who advocate less incendiary tactics.

Well I chased that rabbit for what it was worth. Anyway, things with my family in California still are difficult. My dad continues to worsen, the insurance company has been a pain in the ass causing my mom and brother much grief. I covet your prayers for them. The hospital is very busy and I have a number of very sick patients that I am caring for their families, both adults and children. Likewise, I will be trying to make sure that I care for my ICU staff and help them get through this period of shock, grief and loss. There may be a possibility of activating our SPRINT team to assist sailors in the medical center or on the Comfort and this could make things even more interesting.

In the midst of this I still deal with my own stuff. In times like this I get the “electrical current” sensation running through my body. I become more edgy, hyper vigilant and at times anxious. Sleep is still difficult. However, this too I will get through. I have completed day three in a 12 day “home-stand” at the hospital. I’ll have duty this weekend. At least the Tides are in town. I’m taking Judy to the game against Buffalo tonight. While there I will be keeping an eye on the scoreboard to see if Randy Johnson will get his 300^th career win pitching for the Giants aganst the Nationals. Only 24 major league pitchers have reached this mark and only one is active, that being Tom Glavine. I’ll post a game synopsis later.

Pray for me a sinner.

Peace, Steve+

Post Script: In spite of the threat of thunderstorm we got through the game with barely a sprinkle. The Tides beat the Bisons 5-3. Kam Mickolio got the win in relief and Jim Miler got his 13th Save. Bobby Livingston pitched 7 shutout innings but went away with a no-decision. Jolbert Cabrerra of the Tides hit a 2 run double in the bottom of the 8th to give the Tides the win. The Tides improve to 35 and 17 and lead the Durham Bulls by a game and a half in the International League South, Despite the loss of several pitchers as well as Outfielder Nolan Reimold and Catcher Matt Wieters to the Orioles the Tides with a bunch of AA promotions from the Bowie Baysox continue to win. It is fun to see a team that plays in an organization that has a solid farm system.

Speaking of teams that don’t the Bison’s are now the AAA affiliate for the NY Mets. They have the worst record in the International League. The Mets as they did in Norfolk have no hot prospects and many of their players are former major leaguers The sad thing is that Buffalo under the Indians had a consistently good team. The city is not happy with the Mets. Join the club Bison fans. It sucks to be the Mets AAA affiliate.

Second Post Script: The “Big Unit” Randy Johnson and the Giants had their game with the Nationals postponed by rain. The game will be made up Thursday as a part of a double-header. Johnson will get his chance for 300 tomorrow. Meanwhile the Braves released Tom Glavine. This could be the end of the line for the future Hall of Fame Pitcher.

Third Post Script: The rain which held off throughout the game decided to hit after we got home. This happend to coincide with our little dog Molly’s trip to hunt for squirrels and do her evening business. She hates rain and started barking to be let back in. The wet little dog got the payment of her cookie, gave us a good laugh and started playing with aplush toy fox that looks somewhat like her. She is funny.

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Filed under alzheimer's disease, Baseball, ER's and Trauma, healthcare, iraq,afghanistan, Military, philosophy, Political Commentary, pro-life anti-abortion, PTSD, Religion

Tagged as a few good men, abortion, afghanistan, Air Force, anti-abortion, Army, bobby livingston, buffalo bisons, Chief Petty Officer Pam Branum, colonel nathan r jessup, david kupelian, death and loss, expeditionary medical facilities, george tiller, harbor park, horn of africa, hospital corpsmen, iraq, jim miller, jolbert Cabrera, kam Mickolio, kansas abortion protests, marines, matt wieters, nolan Reimold, norfolk tides, operation rescue, operational stress, pro-life movement, PTSD, randall terry, randy johnson, shock and trauma units, sprint team, traumatic injuries, US Navy, USNS Comfort, World Net Daily

Category Archives: Baseball

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Benjamin Sisko, Star Trek Deep Space Nine and the Less than Sexy Command of Military Bases

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Outlasting everyone else…The value of Longevity in One’s Chosen Vocation

Everybody has a Pitch Count…Good Managers Know When You’ve Reached It

D-1 Bobbing About, We Made Too Many Wrong Mistakes and Thank God for Good Managers

Turning Points: The Battle of Midway, Randy Johnson Gets his 300th Win and Chief Branum Gets Her Star

Mid-Week Review-The Loss of a Shipmate, Hospital Duty is Not Easy and No Rational Thought Goes Unpunished

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