Some Very Deep Thoughts of Padre Steve

Today Padre Steve moved into his latest hermitage after being a bit of a mendicant since October trying to find something affordable while stationed away from home. He has been blessed with good people who have put him up until he could find something. Now he has his island hermitage where among other things he can muse upon the deep mysteries of the world. Actually this means that tonight Padre Steve is tired and doesn’t want to do any real critical thinking.

While driving today he noticed one of those diamond shaped warning signs that said “Blind Dive.” Now since the good padre is a bit of a warped theologian and Biblical scholar he wondered if “Blind Drive” was something like the biblical “Lame Walk.”

A bit later he saw another one of those warning signs that said “Slow Children” and he thought “that’s just sad.”

While looking for a kitchen garbage can at Wally World he noticed that while they had a full up store on almost everything there were no 13 gallon size kitchen trash cans. They had plenty of small assed cans that three Kleenex and a wad of bubble gum would fill up. He mused that it reminded him of his 1986 trip to East Berlin and waiting in line hoping what he wanted would be there when he got the front of the line. He was lucky in East Berlin, he got his Zeiss Binoculars, however he did not get his 13 gallon kitchen trash can.

Why is it in Eastern North Carolina that any mini-van that one gets behind will always drive well under the posted speed limit especially in no passing zones?

Padre Steve heard on the news that Congress has passed a temporary spending bill that will keep the government running for the next two weeks. However why is it if there is a government shutdown that these idiots will still get paid?

Why is it that the same brand and same grade of gasoline will cost 20 cents less per gallon less in one town than it does in another town just 5 miles away?

While in Wally World Padre Steve noticed a sign that said “Piso Mojado,” He wondered if they had that sign at the Red Sea when Moses crossed it with the People of Israel. He also wondered if sometime back in history if someone had met their doom while crossing the Piso Mojado.

Padre Steve wonders what geography genius in the NCAA has Charlotte North Carolina host a game in the Western Regional or Tuscan Arizona host a games in the Southeast regional.  Isn’t like Charlotte in the East and Tuscan in the Southwest? And for crying out loud when did Washington DC get to the West Coast…but then maybe its part of the budget deal.

Why is it that every time a brutal repressive dictator for life has his people turn on him that somehow it is the fault of the United States?

How can Stockton California be the most miserable city in the United States when they do not host the Browns, Cavaliers or Congress?

Why is it when you see a commercial for some new wonder drug that it shows happy people dancing or doing fun things while the announcer reads off a list of terrible side effects….”side effects include heart lung and liver failure, depression, genital warts, halitosis and death….if you experience any of these please stop taking Gulibilify and call your doctor, lawyer and mortician.

Anyway, my brain is full.

Peace

Padre Steve+

 

1 Comment

Filed under Loose thoughts and musings, purely humorous

One response to “Some Very Deep Thoughts of Padre Steve

  1. John Erickson

    Tsk, tsk. Haven’t you learned in this day and age, you call your lawyer FIRST? ALL else is trivial. 😉
    I’m not up on my Spanish, but I’d worry about any sign that has the word “Piso” on it, especially in a Wal-Mart. (Truth in advertising? “Our store brands taste like piso?”) 😀
    Heck, we used to have gas stations in the suburbs of Chicago that would be 10-15 cents different on the same street corner! C’mon – I adore my car, but I really doubt Shell is that much better than Exxon, especially when their tankers pull out of the same tank farm (oil tanks, people – they haven’t figured out how to plant a seed and get an M1-Abrams – yet!). 😉
    And except for a couple of REALLY bad after-party days, I’ve never had to measure a trash can in gallons. Why not cubic feet? (Then again, my wife has cubic feet – size 3 – and getting shoes are difficult, at best. 🙂 )
    And finally, minivans have two setting for their cruise control – “old man in hat slow” and “bat out of hell”. It’s especially scary when a minivan passes you on the right, there’s only the driver on board, and he’s reading his newspaper and drinking his coffee – AT EIGHTY MPH!!!! 80
    I love the collection of random musings, Padre. You HAVE to do this again – and frequently! (Somehow, knowing there’s a man of God with as sick a sense of humour as mine makes me feel SO much better!) 😉

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