Category Archives: Just for fun

Dog Treats can be Expensive but Butterflies are Free: Molly Catches a Butterfly

My half Papillon half Dachshund mix Molly never ceases to amaze me. She is a connoisseur of the finer things in life such as dog treats and whatever daddy is eating. She is actually somewhat picky in what treats she will eat and prefers the more expensive ones.  When I get home from work after the obligatory joyful welcome and walk she has taken to telling me when it is time for me to eat, meaning that she will get to eat something from my plate. Our Papillon puppy Minnie likes to drink my coffee, beer and Judy’s wine.

Molly was a rescue dog. She was found along NC Highway 24 in 2001 when she was about 6 months old and we ended up with her when she proved too much for her rescuer. Molly has always had a thing for the outdoors and the hunt. She has chased and caused a number of birds, chases the deer that roam near the Island Hermitage and has nearly caught one more than once. I always wonder how I will explain that my 15 pound dog took down a deer.

However Molly also is into exotic foods. I am sure that when I am gone she watches those exotic or extreme food shows on the Food or Travel Channel. Among her targets are flies and other assorted bugs but she especially relishes Dragonflies and now for the first time that I have witnessed a Butterfly. Minnie has taken this up at home in Virginia stalking flies on the French doors.

Judy and I had been out and about this morning and when we came home this afternoon it was time for the obligatory joyful greeting and walk by both dogs since Judy and Minnie came down for the weekend. I had the task of walking them and things began to happen. When we pulled into the driveway there were deer in the front yard. There were also birds and butterflies. Molly being the Uber-Alpha dog that she is led the way looking for the deer, which had by then wandered to the back of the house with Minnie following, at 7 months of age still learning the ropes.

As we started down the street I spied a flock of what appear to be Palamedes Swallowtail Butterflies. I have no idea if that is the correct terminology for a bunch of Butterflies but it seems right to me. Molly also spied the flock and took off on the retractable leash like a bat out of hell. She missed the first attempt but as the flock began its evasion attempt Molly grabbed one. If butterfly grabbing was an Olympic event she would have received the maximum score for both technical merit and artistic achievement. The grab was perfect and the unfortunate Butterfly found its body in the middle of Molly’s mouth with its wings hanging equally out the side of her mouth.

It was hard to know what to do. One thing I do know is that there are some things that one does not attempt to remove from Molly’s jaws is freshly acquired game, be it wild or store bought. Molly is a tad bit food aggressive compulsive. I couldn’t help but laugh and grab a couple of pictures with my phone.  It seemed that though she was quite proud of catching it she didn’t quite know what to do with it. We walked back to the house with Judy standing in the driveway.

I called out to her “I don’t know quite what to do about this” and when she saw the wings protruding from Molly’s mouth she started laughing hard.

After a few minutes of stalemate Molly dropped the unlucky creature which was still alive, albeit covered in dog slobber. It lay on the driveway and when Judy went back later to check on it it was gone. I presume that it either recovered or was eaten by a bird.  As we walked back to the house Molly spotted the deer in the woods behind the house and drove them off, the close of a successful mission.

Molly is happy with herself. She can put another symbol for a kill wherever she keeps her display of kills and we can go back and wonder what she will get next and when Minnie begins to learn the experience of hunting.

It should be fun.

Peace

Padre Steve+ `

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A Fish Called Wanda, Padre Steve and the Five Love Languages

A while back a conservative Christian author published named Gary Demonte Chapman authored a book on marriage and relationships called The Five Love Languages. The book has nearly a cult following in Evangelical Christian circles and is used by many pastors, lay leaders and teachers to help couples develop a sense of intimacy. I think this is commendable but for the life of me I cannot get past the title of the book to read it. Thus apart from internet reviews on Amazon.com I have no earthly idea what languages that Chapman is speaking. Personally I can speak, read and write German and some French and I can say that German class and German Club helped bring Judy and I together at San Joaquin Delta College, I cannot figure out how it would figure in my love life.

The book came out in October 1992 shortly after I graduated from seminary. Many of my friends recommended it as I said I couldn’t get past the title. The book was published four years after I saw the movie A Fish Called Wanda starring Jamie Lee Curtis, John Clease, Michael Palin and Kevin Kline which forever has colored my twisted view on language and love.

When I was in Iraq traveling about the country I had an office space at Taqaddum Air Base Chapel where I coordinated my team’s travels about Al Anbar Province.  Since I was not there most of the time I shared the office with a Chaplain who covered some of the Marine units on the base. He was a Southern Baptist and also did a lot of Bible studies and marriage classes. To do the marriage classes he ordered cases of the Five Love Languages as well as workbooks and videos. A came back from a mission and they filled half of the office. While the chaplain was good and had a good number of takers for his classes I am sure that when we left the base during the withdraw from Iraq that many copies were left behind. I can only image an Iraqi Airman seeing the title and knowing little English think that it was a book on foreign languages.

When I saw the books I could not help but think of the movie. I tried to keep it to myself but shared my humorous insights with others that I knew would understand. Eventually I confessed my twisted musings with the Baptist Chaplain who thankfully appreciated the humor.

In the movie which I do not want to spoil for those that have not seen it, language plays an important part. But because it plays such an important part in this story I have to give away a spoiler. Jamie Lee Curtis, who I have always thought was totally hot plays Wanda Gershwitz . She is the American girlfriend of a character named Friedrich Nietzsche Otto played by Kevin Kline. The two double cross their British partner in crime after robbing a diamond merchant in London with Curtis co-opting British barrister Archie Leach played by John Cleese who is defending the partner that they double crossed. But I digress and don’t want to spoil the whole thing.

However I do have to share the one point that ensured that I could never ever pick up a copy of The Five Languages without laughing.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4bqn8zoLpvU&feature=related

Anyway Curtiss’ character has an interesting quirk. She gets excited when the men that she makes love to speak foreign languages as they make love to her. Kline’s character Otto was somewhat an idiot and would speak incoherent Italian gibberish as he makes love to her like “Per cominciare, due insalate verdi con peperoni e un linguini primavera.” However she was really taken by Cleese who when she asks him if he speaks Italian says “I am Italian! Sono italiano in spirito. Ma ho sposato una donna che preferisce lavorare in giardino a fare l’amore appassionato. Uno sbaglio grande! But it’s such an ugly language. How about… Russian?”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YyKy2JzREiE

The rest is history.

Peace

Padre Steve+

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Filed under books and literature, Just for fun, marriage and relationships, movies

High Anxiety: Padre Steve and Flight Delays

 

I am not as good of air traveler as I used to be. I get anxious when I travel by air now.  Sometimes when I fly it feels like I am Mel Brooks at the beginning of the movie High Anxiety http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1_phD__FPsQ or Robert Hays in Airplane. The only thing missing from modern air terminals are the incessant bands of religious zealots that used to be a staple of large airport lobbies back in the 1970s.

Almost every time I travel by air I have the title song from High Anxiety going through my mind: “High Anxiety, it’s always the same. High anxiety, it’s you that I blame. It’s very clear to me I’ve got to give in, high anxiety, you win.” 

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=grLM1WrivPA

Despite the absence of those bands of zealots, who I almost miss going to the airport is never fun. It starts with long lines at the check in counter and through the TSA checkpoints, endure more lines at the gates and get stuffed into a packed aircraft next to someone who insists on taking up their seat plus a third of your seat. It finally ends when you pull out of the parking lot after waiting an unbearable length of time at the baggage carousel of doom for the checked bag that may or may not arrive when you do.

However I have this miserable experience down to a science.  I make sure that everything in my pockets can fit in my baseball hat, I wear shoes that come on and off easily and may backpack is set up so that my computer can be taken in and out quickly. I don’t carry any liquids whatsoever even those that are allowed by TSA. I find the trouble of bagging tiny containers in quart size plastic bags to be too much effort to make it worth while.  My backpack which has accompanied me since Iraq fits well in the overhead compartments of most aircraft and I only carry it so I don’t have to check anything at the gate.

Today has been another adventure in air travel. At Houston Hobby Airport the TSA operates the new scanning devices which enable the agents to look at your naked body. This is not new technology. I saw it used the first time in the movie Airplane. Somehow the thought of my naked body being exposed to anyone other than Judy is not comforting. I wonder what TSA does with these images.

Today I flew out of Houston on the American Airlines subsidiary American Eagle. To make it to the airport I had to catch a cab from the hotel and build in enough time for Houston morning rush hour traffic, so I was on the road by 0720. I had, the operative word had a flight that was to depart at 1020 and be in Dallas by about 1130. My connecting flight was scheduled to depart at 1335. That would have been great. Two hours to make connections right? But no, the scheduled aircraft had a mechanical problem and the replacement did not arrive in Houston until 1145. By the time I took off it was 1225 by the time I landed it was too late. I missed my flight by about 5 minutes. It was pushing away from the gate when I got off of the Sky Link train. I was able to get a picture of it as it left.

Now I get to wait until 1830 local time to take off to arrive in Norfolk about 2220. That is 10:20 PM to the no-military types. Thankfully I was able to get some Tex-Mex food and a couple of beers as I wait out the nearly 5 hour interval between flights. At least I don’t have Robert Hays’s “drinking problem.”http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pl4plPGRG8o

By the time I get home, Lord willing, or as my Iraqi friends say “Inshallah” it will be nearly midnight, about 18 hours after I left the hotel. I could have driven Judy’s Mustang straight through in just a few hours more.

Oh, High Anxiety, you win… looks like I picked the wrong day to stop sniffing glue…

Oh well… c’est le vie.

Peace

Padre Steve+

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Mr Mold Man: A Blast of Spores from the Past, the Mad Doctor Dundi at Work

I love the comic strip Over the Hedge. I have a remarkable affinity for RJ Raccoon, the brilliant yet twisted genius of the strip. I think that it is because he embodies so much of what makes me…well…makes me me.

This week RJ has been confronting his old refrigerator nemesis Mr Mold Guy.  RJ’s experience has caused me to do some soul searching and refrigerator emptying here at the Island Hermitage.

I don’t know about you but I am a fan of food and I like to buy food and sometimes I forget that I have bought food. Thus there are times when I am rooting about the fridge that I find some delicacy that I either forgot that I bought or pushed that I had buried under something else. I find that the back of the vegetable crisper is a haven for such lost food and that it becomes a rather transformative space where food loses its innocence and becomes evil incarnate.

Tonight I was making a grilled chicken pita sandwich and getting ready to fill it with lettuce, fresh tomatoes, pepperocini peppers, kalameta olives and kosher dill pickles when I came across a big red onion that I had forgotten. I love red onions, but this fellow had been in the fridge a bit too long. I really don’t know how long because I can’t remember when I bought it.  However it had to be a very long time because I know that it takes a really, really long time for Mr Onion Man to transform himself into Mr Mold Man.  Onions are not like tomatoes or strawberries which can make rapid transformations from their natural state to spore producers known as Mr Mold Man.

Now be assured that I have found items that are designed by scientists to be mold resistant in my fridge that have stood the test of time and then some. I can say that I have never been able to get Cheez-its to mold, or Twinkies. However given adequate time and the right environment even most of these chemically engineered gastronomical delights can fall victim to the dreaded transformation into Mr Mold Man. In fact at times I have even encouraged them to do so leaving them out in order to see just how they would be transformed.

When I was in junior high school I picked up the nickname “The Mad Doctor Dundi” because of what I would do to the cafeteria food left over from all of my friends serving trays. Lets’ just say that the food at Stockton Junior High School back in the early 1970s was not very good and there were always things left on our trays.

The menu always had elements of the most important food groups: Mystery Meat, Greasy Gravy, boiled Corn or Green Beans fresh from a No. 10 can and of course desert, my favorite the ever popular “orange pudding” which I believe was simply corn starch, sugar and orange food dye blended into a delightful gelatinous goo perfect for mixing other leftovers in.

My experiments continued into college where in my junior year at California State University Northridge I lived at the private dorm called the Northridge Campus Residence. My room-mate Gary and I were the odd couple. He was rather fastidious in his upkeep of the apartment while I was a bit more of a slob than I am now. Post Iraq I don’t do as well with clutter but I cannot be called a model of neatness but then as Gary can attest to I was really really messy.

We lived on the apartment side of the residence and had a kitchenette. This meant that we could supplement the rations provided by the dorm cafeteria which was far better than junior high school but still institutional food slopped on a tray. In fact it was very similar to the cafeteria in the movie Animal House but I digress….

Anyway as I was saying we had a kitchenette. We didn’t keep a lot of food but there was a time that I bought some White Bread, I even think it might have been Wonder Bread. Back then to keep the bread out of the way I would keep it on top of the fridge. This was one of those forlorn food items that got forgotten. Several weeks after I bought it I noticed that it had a small mold colony growing on it.

I probably should have throw it away, but that would have been a crime against science. As a historian and theologian I revere science, and I needed to conduct an experiment. The experiment was twofold. First was to see what would happen to Mr Wonder Bread and secondly and perhaps the more important part of the experiment, to see how long it would take for Gary to notice or take action. So I left it there and I can’t remember just how long it took but the mild mannered loaf of highly enriched and preserved Wonder Bread began a new life as Mr Mold Man.

Day after day I would check on Mr Mold Man and watch in fascination as he transformed inside that hermetically sealed plastic bag. I think that Gary had forgotten that the bread was there so Mr Wonder Bread continued his transformation into Mr Mold Man eventually becoming a completely green gelatinous mass inside the bag. One day, I think it was a Saturday Gary was cleaning and noticed my experiment. I cannot remember what he said but I do remember the complete disgust as he lifted the evil being’s remains off of the fridge and dropped it unceremoniously in the trash receptacle.

Here’s to food and and here’s to science!

Peace

Padre Steve+

AKA “The Mad Doctor Dundi”

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Seventies Movies Tonight: Foul Play, Airplane and Smokey and the Bandit

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=elHoRhGrTiE

Well after a couple of weeks of nothing but seriousness I decided to give myself a break from the real world and retreat to the 1970s. Well, I didn’t drag out a Leisure Suit or start playing the Bee Gees or anything like that but I decided to drag out some 1970s comedies. First up was Foul Play starring Goldie Hawn and Chevy Chase; next the slapstick classic  Airplane starring Robert Hedges, Julie Hagerty and a cast of all-stars including Lloyd Bridges, Robert Stack, Leslie Nielsen, Peter Graves and even Kareem Abdul Jabbar and finally Smokey and the Bandit starring Burt Reynolds, Sally Field and Jackie Gleason.

Sometimes I need these kind of nights. I wrote yesterday about things that trouble me and yes they still do, but to maintain some sense of sanity I need to break away and clear the brain housing unit.  Baseball does this a lot for me but alas it is not yet the regular season and not much is on although I could tune in to the MLB channel and maybe catch a Spring Training game or speculation and analysis of the coming season.

But tonight I needed to laugh and laughing is good for us and that is in the Bible, Solomon wrote in Ecclesiastes that there is a “time to laugh” of course there are other verses in the Bible that make laughter to be a bad thing and I don’t think that the Apostle Paul would approve of my taste in comedy. However after Paul’s shipwreck he might have gotten a kick out of Airplane, but then maybe not. But Karl Barth the great Swiss Theologian once said that “laughter is the closest thing to the grace of God” and I think that he was right and that if we can find things that allow us to laugh, even at ourselves that it is good for us.

I love comedy and lover to laugh and movies like these never get old to me and watching Airplane was even more enjoyable after having spent some time on a flight simulator for the MV-22 Osprey on Thursday afternoon.  I was able to take off and land without crashing. I want to go to flight school.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rzRJWy-3_Dc

I love Foul Play and I think a lot is because that it was filmed in San Francisco.  Airplane though is special because of all the one liners, puns and parodies of things that I grew up with in the 1970s that make it so funny to me.

After I watched the movie once I went back and watched it with the commentary by Jim Abrahams and David and Jerry Zucker.  Watching the movie with their comments made it even funnier because as many times as I have seen it I noticed more things that I had missed in previous viewings.  Likewise I found out things that I never knew. I guess that the most interesting was that the part of Roger Murdock played by Kareem Abdul Jabbar was originally written for Pete Rose but Rose had to turn it down because it was filmed in the summer.

So I guess that means that I watched Airplane twice tonight and because of that I am not going to watch Smokey and the Bandit. Oh well it was fun and I am still laughing.

Peace

Padre Steve+

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The Up Chuck and Die: Was it Stomach Flu or the Cookie?

I think I had a wicked case of the stomach flu this weekend, but then it might have been the Black and White Cookie.  Either way I am still recovering and thankfully not feeling as bad as I was on Sunday.

Sunday was bad all night long I was doing the full body heave.  I have tossed my cookies before, but this time was more violent than cookie tossing that I have been involved with. I mean my stomach was doing summersaults in my gut, it was though it had taken on a life of its own. I have never had my stomach do that before nor have I remained in pain the following day after tossing my cookies. Thankfully I seem to be recovering and the day after the morning after I seem to be feeling much better.

I was wondering if it might be something that I ate but since Judy and our Nephew Adam who was visiting for the weekend both ate what I ate the chances of that were small.  Thus I believe that it was a case of the latest stomach flu bug going around.

Now Judy was telling that it might be psycho-somatic but I reject that out of hand unless it was the cookie….

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IlLPAIrmqvE

Seinfeld again imitates life perhaps?  As I downed that Black and White Cookie I remembered that great episode from Seinfeld called The Dinner Party and as the cookie descended into my stomach and I put myself to bed I thought “no, that could never happen.”  But I as I laid in my bed unable to sleep with reflux building I knew that there was a war going on in my stomach.  It was as if David Duke and Louis Farrakhan were leading crusading against each other in my stomach and Stevie Wonder and Paul McCartney were not playing Ebony and Ivory.  No my friends, Padre Steve’s stomach was the apocalyptic battleground of a cookie divided against itself.

I don’t want to believe that it was the cookie, or even the latest comments by Rick Santorum, but I prefer to believe that it was the impersonal action of a virus.

Peace

Padre Steve+

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The Padre Steve’s Super Bowl Predictions

“It’s tough to make predictions, especially about the future.”  Lawrence Peter “Yogi” Berra

Yes we are inexorably approaching another Super Bowl Sunday and it will be a a back to the future day with the New England Patriots playing the New York Football Giants.  This year it is Super Bowl XLVI and it is a rematch of Super Bowl of Super Bowl XLII and a rematch of Eli Manning and Tom Brady.  The last time that the teams met the Patriots were undefeated and lost to the underdog Giants. I like the use of the Roman numerals in the Super Bowl. It is manly, just like the movie Gladiator. There is something about the use of the Roman numerals that just make the game seem so much more important.

George Santayana said “those that do not read about the past are doomed to repeat it” and likewise based on my knowledge of the past I can pretty accurately predict three things.

I am going to go on the line here and boldly predict that the halftime show headlined by Madonna will suck. Most halftime are forgettable unless someone shows a bodily part that they are not supposed to and Madonna has said that her clothes will stay on so it will just be us watching another aging star lip sync her music while a hoard of excruciatingly skinny gyrating dancers in weird clothes mimic sex with her.

I also predict that the commercials will be cool and even if the game is bad, which it shouldn’t be the commercials will be a major highlight. I like to wait to the day of the Super Bowl to actually watch the commercials being that Super Bowl Sunday is almost a religious holiday. However like a kid finding his Christmas presents before Christmas I happened to watch Matthew Broderick do his updated Ferris Buehler for the Honda CR-V on the internet.  Even though I have seen it I am still excited about seeing it on the big screen.

As far as the game I can accurately predict that one of the two teams will win and to me it doesn’t really matter because it isn’t baseball. I don’t have a dog in the fight even though I am sure that if she had the chance that my little Papillon-Dachshund mix Molly would get in a fight if she could but I won’t let her.

Speaking of Molly she stole what was left of a bag of tortilla chips that I had left over from my take out order from El Zarape  last night. Molly has nervier done this before but tonight she got bold and right in front of me sticker her head in the bag and dragged it off. I laughed so hard that I didn’t take it from her until I took pictures with my I-Phone.

Anyway with all that said, have a nice night, day or whatever it is when you read this and may your team win because my team isn’t playing. Like I said, it isn’t baseball but I will watch it.

Peace

Padre Steve+

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Fill the Strategic Twinkie Reserve Now: Hostess Files for Bankruptcy

It is not enough that war, economic distress, natural disasters, Zombie Apocalypse and threaten us on every side but now true disaster threatens. Yes my dear readers Hostess has filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy.  While the company has announced that “normal operations” will continue the threat is real. The world could possibly find that the leading manufacturer of food designed to survive the Apocalypse may go out of business, or even worse be bought and parted out Twinkie by Twinkie by Bain Capital.

I grew up with Twinkies, they were one of the 5 major food groups of grade school for the sack lunch crowd.  I know that my lunch box always had Twinkies in it, or if not Twinkies another Hostess delicacy such as Chocolate cupcakes with creme filling, or a fruit pie.  My peanut butter and jelly sandwich was made with the softest and freshest Wonder Bread.

While my tastes have adjusted over the years there are times that my mind will wander back to the innocence of childhood and the blissful unawareness of just how bad this was for me.  But back then when we had to walk 8 miles through the mud and rain to go to school without so much as a Walkman and had to actually go outside to play without a smart phone we could burn off all the calories and were energized by the rush created by the combination of pure unadulterated sugar and God knows what else so that we wouldn’t fall asleep in class after lunch. Yes my friends those were the days.

But the world is passing Hostess and the Twinkie by and that could threaten civilization as we know it.  I mean what will we lose next? I tremble at the thought.  Will it be the Zinger? or possibly the Baby Ruth bar?

With North Korea, Pakistan already having nukes and Iran threatening to build them it is imperative that we invest in America and emergency preparedness.  The Congress should approve emergency legislation to preserve the Twinkie and stock the Strategic Twinkie Reserve before it is too late. I don’t know about you but cheap knock offs made by Little Debbie are no substitute for the Twinkie although a Krispy Kreme Chocolate Pie will give the Hostess pie a run for its money…but I digress.  Twinkie production must supported by the Defense Department and Department of Homeland Security. Every MRE should contain a Twinkie and Twinkies should be part of FEMA emergency food stocks to support Hostess like we did in the 1970s when the Federal Government bought almost everything that Chrysler Corporation produced to save the company.

Write your Congressman and tell them to save the Twinkie before it is too late. The future of the country could depend on it.

Peace

Padre Steve+

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The Miracles of Kim Jong Il and the Rise of the Kim Jong Un, the Un-Kim: North Korea in Transition

 

Kim Jong-Un leads the procession for his Father Kim Jong Il (AP Photo)

North Korean Dictator until Death Kim Jung Il was able to join his friends Adolf, Joe, Muammar, Osama and Saddam just in time for the annual Christmastime in Hell celebration.  Of course Kim Jong Il was much more of a man than his buddies. According to North Korean State media Kim was the greatest golfer who ever lived and that miraculous signs appeared in the heavens when he was born.  He could walk by three weeks of age and talk by the time he was 8 weeks old and never had to worry about potty-training.  As an adult he is said to have written 1500 books in 3 years and written the greatest operas ever written. That is right North Korean state media at one time reported why the miracle child never had to be potty-trained. According to them Kim never had to take a piss or a crap thus meaning that he didn’t have to be potty trained. That my friends undoubtably puts him at the top of the world’s shit list.

He was incredibly talented man so much so that he is said to have written 1500 books in 3 years and written the greatest operas ever written.  He is also one of the very few people that gained weight in North Korea during his reign miraculously surviving famine by eating only the best fresh lobster flown in daily, prepared by his personal chef and washed down with the best French wines, champagne and Hennessy cognac.  He was also a style icon who influenced countless people to wear sunglasses all over the world.

Fashion Icon…

He was treated as if he were a deity by North Korean state media, which is pretty ironic considering that North Korea is officially an atheist state.  But for a near deity Kim seemed a bit afraid of death, or at least flying.  It seems that if he had the choice he would always travel by train.  There are rumors that the reason he feared flying was due to the book Fear of Flying written by his distant American relative Erica Jong.  Evidently he believed that as Ms Jong wrote “There are no atheists on turbulent airplanes.” Thus as an atheist that believed himself to be a deity he was not able to get on an airplane.

His funeral was today and had all the hallmarks of the great fun had by North Koreans during his 17 year reign.  The thrilling sounds of the Gulags were reproduced as thousands of mourners wailed and even gnashed their teeth along the route travelled by his funeral motorcade.  The 1975 Lincoln Continental that was used as a hearse was a nice touch although Kim violated funeral decorum by riding atop rather than in the armored Lincoln.  It kind of reminded me of Aunt Edna riding atop the Wagon Queen Family Truckster in the original National Lampoon’s Vacation, but I digress….

His successor Kim Jung-Un who is affectionately known as the Un-Kim was prominent at the funeral looking all spiffy in a black overcoat and saluting as smartly any recently appointed 4 Star General would the Un-Kim led the delegation followed by North Korean military officers all planning to see who might undo the Un-Kim in the near future.  Interestingly the Un-Kim’s brothers were not at the funeral of their father, or were at least not shown on the media, perhaps because they were in the process of either fleeing the country or going to a gulag for a vacation.  Evidently the original heir apparent Kim Jong-nam blew his chance of getting the job when he got arrested at Tokyo airport traveling on a Dominican passport under a fake Chinese name with two women in tow.  The other son that had a chance at the job Kim Jong-chul was not considered because according to Fujimori Kim Jong-chul was too “nansy pansy” for the job, too much like a “little girl.”

We don’t know much about the Un-Kim except that he appears to be Asian and apparently speaks fluent Korean. He reportedly went to an English school in Switzerland under a fake name which means that he may also speak English. Fellow students say that he told them while watching Team America that Kim Jong Il was his father, to which a classmate responded “yeah, like Darth Vader is Luke Skywalker’s dad.”  Evidently the Un-Kim loves NBA basketball and during the player’s lockout was quite disappointed that his hero Michael Jordan didn’t execute a few players to make a point and end the strike sooner.

We don’t know if he is quite the prolific writer and connoisseur of food and film as his father but he has been described by Kenji Fujimori, his father’s personal chef as having “superb physical gifts, is a big drinker and never admits defeat.” If this is true the Un-Kim is an physically fit obnoxious drunk which is exactly the kind of leader that a paranoid and starving country armed with nuclear weapons needs.

So anyway with that said let us all raise a glass to the new Dictator Until Death Kim Jong Un and pray that somehow just maybe that his love of the NBA will cause him not to start any wars.  We’ll see how long this lasts…

Peace

Padre Steve+

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Filed under Just for fun, Korean Conflicts, News and current events, purely humorous

GO NAVY! BEAT ARMY! Padre Steve is Passionate About Navy

I have always been a fan of Navy. I was born in a Navy hospital and grew up as a Navy Brat.  My dad was a Navy Chief Petty Officer and retired from the Navy in 1974. However my dad for all of his virtues, love of the Navy, distain for the Army was not a fan of the Naval Academy during the Army Navy Game. I remember asking him about this and it turns out that as a kid he was a fan of the Military Academy sometimes known as “Army” at this time of year.  He was a man of of principle and never wavered in his support of Army football during the Army Navy Game.

As for me I have been a “flip flopper” in much of my life. I grew up as a Navy brat and entered the Army because Judy said that she wouldn’t marry me if I joined the Navy but that the Army was okay.  No to be truthful I did ask the Navy ROTC unit at UCLA about the possibilities of entering the Navy but to do so they wanted me to change my major in my senior year of college from History to something in the hard sciences, Mathematics or Engineering.  Since I had no desire to repeat several years of college I asked “who will take me?”  I was told to “see the people in green down the hall.”  Thus I ended up in the Army.

Now when I was in the Army I remained faithful to the Navy.  I had a “Go Navy” button that I would keep in my uniform pocket especially during the weeks leading up to the Army-Navy Game.  Well after 17 1/2 years of service in the Army, Army National Guard and Army Reserve I declared free agency and resigned my Army Reserve commission as a Major to enter the Navy, reducing in rank to do so. Judy was not pleased because I basically made the decision without consulting her, even though she probably would have agreed if I had asked her but what can I say? I am a man. A manly one at that. However Judy has remained with me for all of these years she has been a military wife for over 28 years now and probably has another 5-8 or more to go.  God bless her and the other military spouses that choose to endure the career choices of their husbands or wives.  But I digress…

The fact is that through thick and thin and despite the fact that I was a military service “flip-flopper” I have always been true to the Naval Academy in its rivalry against the Army and the Air Force.  The fact that I was in the Army for many years never took away from the fact that as a kid I loved the Navy and always was for Navy in the Army-Navy Game. The fact that my dad who was a career Navy man always cheered for the Army is inspirational to me. My dad was a man of character and never abandoned the team that he cheered as a child.  Like him I have not wavered in my support of the team that I cheered as a child. The irony is that I spent nearly a full career in the Army before going to the Navy.

As for the “Go Navy” button I gave it to my best friend in Germany a now retired German Army Officer who spent the first three years of his military career in the German Navy.  Gottfried never left his navy roots and I gave the button to him many years ago.  He may have spent most of his career in the German Army but still is a Navy man at heart.

On Saturday the Midshipmen of the Naval Academy will play the Cadets of Army. The Navy Goat will face the Army Mule yet again in this great American tradition. While we may be adversaries on the gridiron we are brothers on battlefield and in the defense of the United States and our friends.  I have served over 30 years in the Army and Navy. Though I admire and respect my friends in the Army I can only say one thing about the Army-Navy Game….

 

GO NAVY! BEAT ARMY!

Peace

Padre Steve+

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