Daily Archives: June 25, 2010

Rumbles in the Old Litter-box: Manifestations of Stress When One Loses a Parent and dealings with the Social Security Administration

I am back in my home town of Mudville aka Stockton California for the funeral of my dad.  I have mentioned the conflicting feelings that have been going on in me since I got the word on Tuesday of selection to promotion and Wednesday of the death of my dad.

I really thought that I would be prepared for his death since he has not been him for the last couple of years becoming really noticeable after I returned from Iraq in February 2008.  The last year and a half especially he has been less than a shadow of his former self barely existing in a nursing home.  Now I would be one that knows a lot about death and grief no matter how well that you think that you have prepared yourself it is like getting kicked in the nuts when it happens. In addition

I made my trip out yesterday, it was smooth and uneventful though quite pricey and have been out and about most of the day working on funeral service issues, particularly ensuring that everything was set for the Memorial Service on Sunday, correcting the obituary and coordinating with the Navy Chaplain that will perform the service and the Military Honors program coordinator  to make sure everything was fine.

I wanted to get info from the Social Security Administration people but their automated system is less than helpful…bad on you Social Security Administration.  Anyway I called the freaking number. At first I thought that I was in luck as the automated service told me that it would be “less than a minute wait” until I spoke to an agent. I was overjoyed, a real person in under a minute certainly the Deity Herself was smiling on me.  The it went to hell…the automated service told me that it was going to ask me six questions, the same six that the real person was going to ask me. It then informed me with great glee how this was in compliance with the Federal Government mandate on reducing paperwork, greenhouse emissions, save the trees, whales and generally safeguard humanity and make sure that earth is inhabitable for at least the next 59 minutes.  That announcement took at least 45 seconds, or so it seemed and then the painfully cheerful automated attendant with an overwhelming sense of self which you would not think that the automated attendant should have started “her” interrogation.  What pissed me off was this computerized and digitally enhanced kept calling itself “Me” and “I.” But I digress. “She” informed me to enter the social security number or say it, so I said it and the automated attendant revealed that she was either hard of hearing, did not understand simple English or just plain stupid. I guess it’s one of those Federal initiatives to hire incompetent automated help.  “She” asked me if the number, which “she” repeated to me was correct, I said no and she did not understand the word no. After a series of failed attempts to communicate with this incompetent but full of it automated attendant I gave up. I asked for a real person. I said the word “attendant” which “she” misunderstood, then “operator” which was also misunderstood and even “get me a f***ing real person.” which was likewise misunderstood by “her.”  I was wondering what the hell, she asks questions that the real person is going to ask anyway and like a cheerful pit bull from cyber hell won’t let me talk to a real person.  The old company commander in me was showing up as I wonder WTF was going on, about that time I was delivered by the call of the Petty Officer that is the military honors coordinator for the area and I hung up on  the overly cheerful automated attendant with an overblown ego and bad hearing.  I will take my mother to the local Social Security Administration Office on Monday morning to deal with this with a flesh and blood human being unless they too have been replaced by holographic images of fake people or wild flesh eating zombies.  Certainly the later would be easier to deal with.

In the midst of this I found that the old litter box was acting up. One of the physical  manifestations of stress is a rumbling litter-box and this morning my old litter-box was certainly rumbling. I delayed my run by about an hour and a half hoping that said rumbling had passed and it appeared that it had. So I put on my running shorts, my orange Norfolk Tides t-shirt and my gray with exceptionally bright orange trim and soles Nike running shoes.  The weather was great, about 60 degrees with clouds and a nice breeze. I felt great and looked to do about six miles until at the 2.2 mile point on on the outbound leg making great time the litter box began to rumble.  I knew that this was not good for unless I wanted to impose on a stranger’s lawn there was no place to go. So I turned around, locked down the sphincter and increased speed to get back to my parents home before sphincter failure set in, which I think would be something like what happens when the Starship Enterprise loses the warp containment field in her engineering plant.   The Deity Herself was smiling on me today my friends as I made excellent time on that back half of the run and with nary a second to spare made it to the head attached to the room that I am staying in.  Stress is such a beautiful thing but thank God for strong sphincters.

So anyway, hopefully things will settle down. My plans are to help my mom with the paperwork and the Social Security People as well as track down my dad’s insurance polices for her and get those paid out to her, or at least start that process.  The memorial service will be at the De Young Shoreline Chapel in Stockton California on Sunday at 1 PM. CAPT Gerald Seely, CHC USN will be the officiant and there will be military honors to include the presentation of our Nations’ colors by either a Navy Chief or Officer, the playing of taps and three rifle volleys from a ceremonial firing squad. I was informed that the the Stockton Police have been notified so they will not think that it is a drive by, Stockton being the home of the ceremonial drive by shooting.

So anyway, I want to hank everyone for their thoughts and prayers and encouragement over the past few days.  I will keep you informed and respond either, by e-mail or Facebook to you if you have or will contact me. I have a lot to catch up on in thanking people and I cannot tell you just how much that your support means and how many times that I have felt tears in my eyes as I have read your kind words.  Those that have called me have been tremendous blessing as have my colleagues at Naval Medical Center Portsmouth and the Navy Chief of Chaplain’s Office.

Peace

Padre Steve+

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