Denny Crane and Padre Steve: Going over the top to Kill Farting Cows

Denny Crane

I think I need to put a picture of Denny Crane up anytime I go over the top and use hyperbole as a literary device.  It seems that a lot of people just don’t get it and take me far too seriously and I have to wonder if it’s the Mad Cow.  I’m sure I have it because

Anyone that knows me or reads this site on a regular basis knows that I will sometimes in pursuit of making a point I will go a little over the top.  I did this last week where killed a bunch of people’s farting cow by suggesting “whacking” Wiki-Leaks founder Julian Assange and his cohorts in anarchy.  I suggested using KGB and CIA and MI-16 type methods and really was way over the top. It was a rant patterned on William Shatner’s character from Boston Legal “Denny Crane.”  In fact I have used such methods in pissing off Neo-Nazis and White Supremacists, religious fundamentalists of various persuasions and others.  In this case I just had to ask “What Would Denny Crane Do?” since I know what Jesus would do based on any number of scriptural interpretations from “Loving grace filled and forgiving Jesus” to “Ass kicking Second Coming Jesus” so I had to look elsewhere. So just remember two words: Padre Steve.

Padre Steve

I think that over the top  hyperbole draws out all the people that have no life or sense of humor or irony and are so committed to his or her particular cause that they cannot bear criticism of their idols, especially when it is done in such a manner.  In fact I find such people to be quite tedious and predictable; they presume wrongly that simply being over the top means that I am like them, doing exactly what they do to those that they disagree with.  They see what they want to see and read their agenda into it.

In the case of the Wiki Leak defenders they presume that everything I say is completely serious and in the case of the offending article some was and much wasn’t especially the whacking part.  Now I do think that the Wiki Leaks people and their leader are terrorists because their goal is not truth but anarchy, and anarchy always breeds tyranny but I am not serious about having Assange and his colleagues in crime killed.  Now in reality there are probably at least a dozen despotic nations that would like to chop them into little itty bitty pieces but that won’t be the United States.  Despite our somewhat soiled white hat we are still the good guys giving our blood and treasure to support many ungrateful nations and we don’t owe Mr. Assange and his bunch anything.

Now as far as my detractors I don’t hide anything. Since I have as of this post 681 articles on this website it would behoove, my I like that uppity word, behoove them to actually read some other posts before passing judgment and calling me everything but a Romulan.  Failing that they can pound sand.

I am a passionate Moderate.  This means in addition to having lots of friends from diverse backgrounds that I can’t put in the same room without fear of bloodshed. I also attract an equally diverse number of detractors some that are quite nasty when they see me killing their farting cows.  You see moderates especially the non-Namby Pamby kinds are not appreciated by those who are absolutely convinced in their rightness and obsessed with whatever agenda they purport.  It’s so much easier for them to pick a side and let someone else tell them what to think and assume that those that kill their farting cows are evil.  I know that the correct term is “fatted calves” but farting cow’s just sounds sillier, after all cows are the leading greenhouse gas producer on the planet, but that is a subject for another post and I digress.


I’m sorry what some people call debate is nothing more than judgmental name calling with so little critical thought.  They read something and jump to a preconceived conclusion without doing any real research. In my case all they would have to do is look at the “About” page of this site and figure out that I don’t fit their mould.

It doesn’t matter if the are Julian Assange supporters, Neo-Nazis, White Supremacists, Japanese China War revisionists, angry religious fundamentalists of a variety religions and sects, Glenn Beck supporters, militant environmentalists and so many others they all have one thing in common.  They are all without exception ideologues that only see things their way and can’t handle anyone that confronts their worldview, or as I say kills their farting cows. When I read their stuff it is amazing to see the anger and vitriol expended by these guys. When I made my over the top comments about Assange and Wiki Leaks I expected this kind of reaction and was surprised that it didn’t happen sooner. With the exception of one named Brian all were rather snarky and two pretty uppity European supporters of Assange.  That’s okay I can handle some name calling as some of Neo Nazis have actually threatened me and called me a lot worse.

Maybe I need to put a picture of Denny Crane up when I decide to post one of these articles again and put the disclaimer up that it’s the “Mad Cow” saying it and not me.

What do ya think?

So until the next time, peace, and remember those two little words,

Padre Steve+



Filed under Just for fun

5 responses to “Denny Crane and Padre Steve: Going over the top to Kill Farting Cows

  1. Well done Padre Steve. Sure, hyperbole is fun, but we have to remember that our fellow citizens have been taking amiability suppresants for so long, they no longer have a concept of what ‘fun’ is.

    Which would explain why you got so much blowback on whacking Julian Assange.

    (hyperbole /on)
    Rather than ask “What would Denny Crane do?”, I’ll recommend “What would Hunter Thompson do?” The answers are usually more creative with gratuitous nudity and firearms as a core component.
    (hyperbole /off)


    • padresteve

      Thanks Dave, you nailed it about the amiability suppressants. However Hunter Thompson whacked himself and I wouldn’t want to do that 😉

    • John Erickson

      I don’t know about the gratuitous nudity (except that it’s good, in female form at least), but the gratuitous firearms use sounds very similar to the old saying, “There is no problem that cannot be fixed by an application of sufficient high-explosives.” (For you old-time Navy guys, you can substitute “large calibre gunfire” for “high-explosives”.) An outgrowth of my old favourite (inspired at times by my father), “If it don’t work, hit it with a hammer. If it still don’t work, hit it with a bigger hammer. If it breaks, it needed to be replaced anyway.”

  2. John Erickson

    Hey, I defended you, and you don’t even mention me? Humph. I have never been so insulted in my life! :p (OK, sarcasm time over.)
    Oh heck, YES, I have INDEED been so insulted, and more so, and quite frequently! Part of my oh-so-charming personality! 😀
    Tell ya what, Padre. You keep going over the top, and I’ll help watch your back. Deal?
    Keep Smiling!

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