Daily Archives: November 17, 2012

Stocking the Personal Strategic Twinkie Reserve while the BCS Burns

“There is a box of Twinkies in there. And not just any Twinkies, but the last box of Twinkies in the whole universe. And believe it or not, Twinkies have an expiration date, and pretty soon, life’s little Twinkie gauge is going to go…empty.” Tallahassee (Woody Harrelson) Zombieland 

There are times when after a long and tiring week that the big issues of life are too much to write about. Yes I know there are wars and many terrible things going on in the world. I also know that when I wake up tomorrow morning that they will still be going on.

In the mean time I watched this week in stunned silence as Hostess twisted in the wind before finally announcing that they were shutting down, ending the production of signature lines such as Twinkies, Ding-Dongs, Ho-Hoes, Fruit Pies and Hostess Cup Cakes.

Likewise I watched in fascination as the number one and two teams in the College Football Nation went down to defeat, stunning the bookies and setting up the Notre Dame Fighting Irish Jesus’s into the top ranking. This means that for the first time in more than 300 weeks of NCAA football rankings that Notre Dame is ranker than the rest of the NCAA. While this is news it paled in comparison to seeing my ROTC Alma Mater the UCLA Bruins defeat the USC Trojans or as we knew them as in the 1980s as “Troy Tach.”

I don’t eat much junk food but when I want cakes made with obscene amounts of sugar and preservatives I prefer the Hostess brand. I know that some people prefer Little Debbie or Dolly Madison but for me it was Hostess that was the mostess. I remember having these long lasting nearly indestructible mass produced treats in my lunch box as early as First Grade. I remember savoring every sugary bite as if they were delicacies baked in the finest bakeries for kings and queens.

While I love the Twinkie, I also loved the Cup Cakes, the chocolate ones, with the white filling, and the chocolate icing. Those were amazing. I still eat them the same way that I did as when I was a kid. I eat the cake portion first and then the icing, wrapping it into a roll and savoring it as the massive sugar rush melded with whatever form of caffeine I had had with it.

Though I went out and stocked my own personal Strategic Twinkie Reserve I do have hope that the Twinkie will live on as other manufacturers are already looking to buy the signature Hostess lines. But until they do and production resumes my personal Strategic Twinkie Reserve will remain and I won’t sell my soul.

Peace Love and Twinkies

Padre Steve+

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