Tag Archives: bible prophecy

The Failed Mayan End of the World Prediction and the Chicago Cubs

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The Mayan Calendar: Note the Disgusted Cubs Fan in the Center

I woke up this morning and what did I see? I saw a world that was still in existence. The sun was shining, and the dog yawning and I knew that it was going to be a good day for the world had not ended.

Not that I believed it would as the Chicago Cubs did not win the World Series. But there were believers who now that the end of the world has come and gone are left asking themselves why, kind of like the Jehovah’s Witnesses do every couple of decades, or those of more extreme millennial Christian viewpoints. Last year a preacher named Harold Camping was predicting that Jesus would come back on on May 21st 201, it was his second swing and a miss which led him to apologize. But he is not alone, there have been over 100 predictions of Jesus’ return since I have been alive that have fizzled as well as plenty by others ranging from New Agers to Death Cults.

So the world didn’t end but the shills that predicted it to certainly made some fast cash which since the world did not end they can now spend on themselves.

That being said I do have a theory that explains the whole metaphysical side of this.

I believe that the Mayan seer that carved out the great Mayan calendar was probably probably a very early, like before they existed Chicago Cubs fan.

From my cursory knowledge of the universe and end times prophecy it is the only explanation. I believe that the soul that worked his ass off carving this masterpiece did so based on the erroneous proposition, that the world was based on the 154 game baseball season of 1908, when the Cubs last won the World Series and that he did not foresee the 162 game season or the baseball strike of 1994-95.

Like any real seer he had no real ideal what he was seering about and to use a biblical term “saw through a glass darkly.” In other words he really didn’t know exactly what he was predicting and in his limited way did the best that he could. Instead he had to rely on interpreters that neither knew him or his world to understand and publicize his carvings.

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The End of the World in 1908

I do think that the Mayan calendar carver looked deep into the future and saw the end of the world. However the end of the world that he saw occurred on the afternoon of October 14th 1908 when the Cubs defeated the Detroit Tigers to win the World Series a point in history where the world as we knew it ended and a new world began. Yes he saw the end of the world in a sense, but not as those that profited off of his work have over the past few years.

I believe that when he looked into the future and he assumed that the universe was based on the 154 game season. He did not anticipate the 162 game season, which if he had he would have known that as we know it ended on October 14th 1908 when the Cubs defeated the Detroit Tigers to win the World Series.

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Yes my friends, even the end of the world does come down to baseball and in particular the Chicago Cubs.

Peace

Padre Steve+

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Filed under Baseball, Just for fun, News and current events, Religion

Pondering the Imponderables of National Security Leaks and Condiments

There are times when try as we might the deepest secrets of national security are made know.  Such was the case last week when the wife of Britain’s MI-16 spy service posted photos of the reclusive spymaster in his Speedo on a beach on her Facebook.com page.  Needless to say it is not good when every potential and enemy sees their enemy in such a revealing garment which most men who are not young good looking world class swimmers should never be seen in public in.  So the dear wife of the British spymaster has blown his cover in a big way.  Now Al Qaida will be staking out Brighton Beach or the French Riviera for a chance to schwack him, or at least give him an atomic wedgie as they no longer need simply to see his face but now know what the rest of his body looks like.

Unfortunately there was a security breach in Padre Steve’s household as the Abby Normal Abbess aka “Judy the Snitch” revealed something that the government has been concealing from you for many years.   Of course she could not help herself in being a snitch since she was the youngest child in her family, save her Pug Susie.  Since the damage to yours and mine national security cannot be undone now that she has posted for the world to see, I am posting the link to her article in hopes that the knowledge of the leak and the official explanation from Padre Steve will defuse this crisis.  The link is here:

http://abbeynormalabbess.wordpress.com/2009/07/09/steve-ketchup-and-national-security/

Now the official explanation:  Catsup packets and other condiments are indeed to reserve currency in case of a meltdown in the world economy.  Since many in the world are fearful of a worst case scenarios like the Great Depression or the hyper-inflation period of the Weimar Republic the world leaders decided that condiment packets that are found in fast food restaurants from Atlanta to Zagreb would do in a pinch.  Now this has not been announced anywhere and will not be officially as it could cause a rush on catsup futures which would further destabilize the already fragile world economy as McDonalds, Burger King and other fast food giants would be forced to close stores and lay off employees to find the money to keep the catsup bins stocked.

For those that don’t know the Germans have ascribed a monetary value to catsup and other condiment packets.  Back in the old days if you went to a fast food place or an Imbiss (a little snack bar often found in small towns) you would pay 5 pfennings for a packet of catsup.  Today with the advent of the Euro the last time I was there they cost 10 Euro Cents, which is about 14-15 US cents at recent exchange rates.  Some US fast food franchises now charge for more than the two or three packets that they might normally give you.  I found this out when I looked in the bag with my “to go” order and seeing that there were not enough to have extra to add to my stockpile, I asked for more and was told that it would be an additional charge.  Knowing what I know I paid for the extra.  Many fast food restaurants now have copied what Wendy’s has done for many years and instead of giving you packets of catsup as a “dine-in” customer now supply a pumping station to the catsup tank located below the store, which a couple of times month a tanker truck filled with catsup pulls up to about 0300, or 3 AM and fills up the secret tank.  This is one reason McDonalds is replacing its older buildings, it is cheaper to build a new building with the tank than renovate.  It also provides them cover of plausible deniability should people ask when the parking lot is ripped up and a tank is being installed.  These catsup tankers are unmarked for the reason that the restaurants and the government do not want you to know what is really going on.  Most of these are owned by the Heinz conglomerate whose owner; Teresa Heinz Kerry is married to a member of the US Senate and former Presidential candidate, Senator John Kerry.  By doing this the government and the restaurants are allowing themselves to stockpile catsup packets for the coming time when they will be needed.

Now you probably wonder how you can verify what I am saying.  If you have a friend or family member in the military or employed by a Federal or State law enforcement agency and visit their home or ride in their car, look for their secret stash.  After reading what Judy wrote on her blog, Judy’s cousin Diana recalled a visit to her daughter Becki who is a senior Law Enforcement official in a Federal Government agency with an astronomically high security clearance. Becki also has a drawer full of catsup and other condiment packets.  The light went on for Diana and she knew that indeed that Judy had unearthed a dark secret.

I’m sure that this post will also give the Bible prophecy addicts something new to ponder in relationship to the scriptures which talk about in the end times a bar of gold will buy a loaf of bread and stuff like that.  It is likely now that this is out there that books like The Late Great Planet Earth and parts of The Left Behind series will have to be re-written.

Additionally survivalists and militia movement members who have long suspected a government conspiracy will begin to stockpile catsup packets and begin to hijack restaurant re-supply trucks to make off with cases of catsup and other condiments and even Al Qaida my start targeting Heinz, Hunts and Del Monte catsup plants around the country seeking yet another way to undermine US and world economic security.

So that’s the story.  There will be a cover up of course as there always are, when asked government spokesmen and women will claim ignorance or deny the story altogether.  But now you know the dirty little secret. As we know from Agents Scully and Mulder in the X-Files the truth is out there.

Peace, Steve+

Note:  I gave a bad title to a post a couple of days ago.  It is the “Visit to Super Holy International Temple.”  It is quite funny and quite profound in its own way and I hope that you look it up if you din’t think that the title sounded too interesting. I was told by a reader that it reminded him of the book “The Shack” which I have never read.

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Filed under Loose thoughts and musings, national security, Political Commentary, purely humorous