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A Peaceful Night at the Ballpark: Casting my Cares on the Field of Dreams

“That’s baseball, and it’s my game.  Y’ know, you take your worries to the game, and you leave ’em there.” Humphrey Bogart 

It is amazing what a couple of hours at a ballpark can do for me. I don’t know about you but going to the ballpark is something that I need in order to maintain any peace in my soul.

This year I have been to fewer ballgames than any time in the 10 years and I can feel the difference. I find that no matter how crazy things are in my life or how much anxiety I feel I can go to a ball game and I find peace. There is something about that lush green diamond that brings peace to me soul and when I do not get to the ballpark for an extended period something is lost.

I wrote yesterday about those anxieties and frustrations, especially all of the hate that I see on display in our politics, in religion and between peoples at home and and around the world. It seems to me that the Unholy Trinity of Pundits, Politicians and Preachers make a living of spreading hate and fear and turning people against each other, neighbor against neighbor, brother against brother, nation against nation.

Fear and hate are contagions and as they spread even those who try to inoculate themselves against their pervasive evil can become caught up in them. I was feeling that way this week and yesterday I knew that I had to do a number of things to get help and one of them was to get to the ballpark. The other was to seek some help for the physical, emotional and spiritual manifestations of my struggle with PTSD. I will share more about that in the coming weeks and months. I am scheduled to begin some very advanced treatment for it that has shown tremendous results in those being treated for PTSD. After talking to the specialist today I feel very hopeful and blessed to be able to get a referral so fast. More on that to come.

However, last night I was able to take in a ball game. Since the Kinston Indians were sold my attendance at ball games has been limited to a few games in Norfolk. Thankfully the Morehead City Marlins of the Independent Coastal Plains League were playing at home against the Florence Red Wolves so I got in my car and drove up there.   It was relaxing. The ballpark was new and small but the field well kept. The ballplayers were college kids from colleges and universities around the country. The skill level was about the level of Low “A” ball in the Minor Leagues and I did’t know any of the players. That being said I found the game both calming and relaxing. I was able to get a hot dog and a beer and wander around taking pictures from various locations in the stadium.

Just being there was healing in its own way. I was able to do as Humphrey Bogart said “take my worries there and leave them there.” I know as a Christian that the Bible says to “cast all of your cares on him (Jesus)” and I do try to do that, but sometimes the ballpark brings me closer to him than a church and a good play by play announcer like Vin Scully more spiritual than the most eloquent preacher, and certainly less divisive than the political partisans who spew hate in the name of the Lord.

Last night reminded me of how important this beautiful game is in my life and why I need it. Like Sharon Olds, who wrote in This Sporting Life that “Baseball is reassuring. It makes me feel as of the world is not going to blow up.”  Believe me I need that reassurance at times and after the past few weeks of angst I really needed that last night.

The great American poet, essayist and journalist Walt Whitman wrote: “I see great things in baseball.  It’s our game – the American game.  It will take our people out-of-doors, fill them with oxygen, give them a larger physical stoicism.  Tend to relieve us from being a nervous, dyspeptic set.  Repair these losses, and be a blessing to us.”

Last night was good for the soul. I slept better than I have in weeks. Today I started re-reading the classic baseball novel by W.P. Kinsella, Shoeless Joe from which the film Field of Dreams was adapted. Kinsella’s writing is magical and deeply spiritual at its heart. It is about life, love, dad’s and sons and dreams that you don’t let die.

I still have dreams and I won’t let them die. I’ve been given many precious gifts by family, friends, those that have cared for me even when they were suffering and by God. One of those gifts is that wonderful, mysterious and always healing game played on the most perfect of fields, that field of dreams.

Peace

Padre Steve+

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Filed under Baseball, christian life, faith, PTSD

Me Myself and Hurricane Irene

In my half century of life I have been through major earthquakes and numerous hurricanes and tropical storms, a tornado and a war.  However I cannot remember being more concerned about a natural disaster until now.  Hurricane Irene looks like it is on target to slam into the Island Hermitage as well as my home inVirginia Beach.

Last night I was not very concerned, it looked like the bitch would stay far enough to sea that things would be fine.  Late last night my Judy called me worried and with my computer I looked at the models and told her that things would be fine and the storm would likely stay far enough at sea as not to cause too much damage.  This morning I got up and the first thing that I saw was that the computer models were now zeroing in on the Outer Banks and if the models are correct will also come very near to or actually strike Virginia Beach.  As of now most of the models have the eye of the Irene coming ashore as a Category Three hurricane around Morehead City and Beaufort North Carolina which is about 20 miles to the north of the Island Hermitage. Since Irene is a big mother that is much too close for comfort.

Calm before the Storm

I went out to the beach this evening for the last weekend before the Labor Day holiday the beach and the neighborhood were incredibly quiet, the very real calm before the storm. When I walked out of the Island Hermitage the only noise was that of some kind of noisy insect in the trees above me.  I got to the beach and decided to try to get around without my cane and I did pretty well.  I think from now on I will only use it when the leg is hurting.  It’s been almost a month since I broke the Fibula and the doctors said 4-6 weeks so I will give it a shot.  Anyway I took off my sports sandals and walked out to the surf.  There were a few people on the beach.  I took a number of pictures and I noticed the colors of the sky which were tinged with the reds and oranges of the sun which had just disappeared over the horizon.  The surf was heavier than I have seen since I moved here and the breakers dissipated as they came ashore.  It was all too peaceful.  It is hard to imagine that in less than 48 hours the serenity before me will become a watery inferno with winds gusting over 100 miles an hour.

Pat Robertson has written and spoken about how he prayed away a hurricane when he first established his ministry in Virginia Beach.  Since Pat’s headquarters is in Virginia Beach, along with his Christian Broadcasting Network Studios and Regent University he has a big interest in praying this one away.  So I hope that Pat gets off his ass and uses his special double top secret probation prayer line to Jesus in to get Irene back out to sea.  I don’t even care if he claims credit for it on TV and in his next book.

I called Judy to let her know that she needed to take the dog and execute our evacuation plan.  A neighbor will be watching our house in our absence and let me know if we sustain damage.  My insurance company has already sent me an e-mail assuring us that they are with us; it’s a good thing to be a long time member of USAA. Even so I do not look forward to any kind of storm damage.

I am a safety first kind of person.  I have already let my staff know that they can take leave tomorrow to get out of Dodge if needed.  Since I am essential personnel at the hospital I will be caring for our patients, staff and their family members during the storm.  All the models make this look really bad for this area.

Yes I am praying for all those that live along the East Coast just as I do for others. Unfortunately I have already heard some preachers, Christian ministers, the allegedly “Christian” head of the far right website Worldnetdaily, Joesph Farrah and a Jewish Rabbi announcing with almost smug arrogance that this is God’s judgment on our country.  As always it is the fault of homosexuals and not the fault of the incredibly greed filled financial institutions that have contributed so much to the economic turmoil that has engulfed the world and the preachers that seem to elevate Wall Street above the Gospel.

I’m glad for these people that they are so sure of this, but I’m sure that the Lord probably thinks otherwise, besides Pat Robertson would be in the crosshairs too, but then maybe God is mad at him and the rest of us are the collateral damage.  My word to all of these preachers get off their asses, pray for the people on the East Coast and be ready to render assistance as they can. After all it’s the Christian thing to do.   I know that is what I will be doing, but that’s just me.

Peace and Blessings,

Padre Steve+

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Filed under christian life, faith, Loose thoughts and musings, natural disasters