NASCAR to Allow More Contact…Ricky Bobby Comes to Your Track

What the People Want

Well, this is interesting, the folks who run NASCAR have decided that the sport isn’t exciting enough and have decided to allow more “contact” between cars in various races.  In a move reminiscent of the movie Talladega Nights, the Ballad of Ricky Bobby the sport has decided to “let the drivers drive.” After penalizing drivers for being too aggressive on the track and for comments of the track the pendulum shifted.  Deciding that the sport had become just a bit too boring as drivers zipped around single file for 498 miles before letting things go flashing sponsor logos do the talking the management said “what the hell, if Ricky Bobby can do it why not us?”

American Hero

Actually it wasn’t Ricky Bobby but drivers complaining publicly of “watered down racing” and some drivers such as Denny Hamlin having a bitter month long on track feud with Brad Keselowski while Tony Stewart and Juan Pablo Montoya played demolition derby in the last race of the season that the NASCAR big wigs said, “damn, look at those ratings, how could we not have seen that? We better get off of our asses and do something quick, otherwise the people will revolt.” Not wanting to get swept away like Martha Coakley they quickly lightened up on the rules to make things more exciting.

Emotion and Confrontation

So get ready for the fun to begin as the season heats up at Daytona and Talladega.  I wonder how things will go. My bet is that the television revenues will skyrocket as people get what they want, speed and violence, mayhem and raw emotion as drivers bump, grind and sideswipe one another while flipping each other off in the pits.  I think that maybe the next logical step is to arm the cars to simulate aircraft dogfights.  Of course this certainly would increase casualties but if anyone remembers the original Rollerball with James Caan, it probably would sell.

Of course for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction, with Tiger Woods sidelined the PGA is rumored to be considering arming its players with sniper rifles to liven things up and Formula One not to be outdone may allow the use of VIEDs (Vehicular Improvised Explosive Devices) on its tracks in the Middle East. As regular Joe 12 Pack’s gain inspiration look forward to more bumping on your local expressway.  What a deal, you gotta love it.

Peace,

Padre Steve+