Tag Archives: pastor marc grizzard

November 2, 2009 · 00:42

All Saints Day, the “Book and Bible Burning” Turns into a Shred Fest and the Yankees win game four in Philly 7-4 go up 3-1 in Series

Sunday was the Feast of All Saints.  This is one of my favorite Feasts in the Liturgical year. The feast is celebrated in both the Eastern Orthodox and Western Churches such as the Roman Catholic Church, the Anglican Communion, certain Lutheran Churches, as well as some Wesleyans and Methodist. The feast is celebrated on the First Sunday after Pentecost in the East and on November 1st in the West.  In the Eastern expression it is celebrated in honor of all the Saints, known and unknown while in the West, Particularly the Roman Catholic Church it is dedicated to the Saints who have attained the beatific vision of heaven.  Other churches in the West have different takes on this.  I believe that the Orthodox which honor saints known and unknown is the more accurate position while at the same time not demeaning the Roman position.

Willibald-EichstaettStatue of Willibald in the Eichstadt Cathedral

For me this Feast is special as are other feasts commemorating individual Saints and Martyrs.  I feel a special closeness to those who have gone before us and certain days.  I really began to experience this shortly after being ordained as a Priest and being deployed to Würzburg Germany.  My ordination service was head the evening of July 7th 1996 which was already July 8th in Germany.  The 7th is the Feast Day of St. Willibald of Eichstadt which is in Bavaria between Munich and Nurnberg.  Willibald was a Celtic missionary who worked with St. Boniface to help bring the Christian faith to Germany.  Willibald settled in the area and served and the pastor and later the Bishop of Eichstadt serving as the bishop for 40 years.  Willibald’s brother Wunibald was also as missionary to Germany and served in Thuringia, Mainz and the Oberpfalz finally ending up in Bavaria founding the Kloster at Heidenheim with his sister Walburga, who was a Nun. Wunibald died there in 761 AD.  Wunibald’s feast day is December 18th which is also my baptismal date.  July 8th is the Feast of St Killian, the patron saint and Martyr Bishop of Würzburg, the first place that I served as a Priest.  October 6th the date of my Protestant Ordination in 1991 is the Feast Day of St Bruno the founder of the Carthusian Order and my birthday March 27th is the Feast day of Saint Rupert of Salzburg Austria and on the Anglican calendar it honors Bishop Charles Henry Brent.  Bishop Brent was a missionary bishop to the Philippines and later served as the Senior Chaplain to the American forces in Europe and later as the Bishop the Western New York.  There are two things that really connect me to Bishop Brent, first are his ecumenical views well expressed in this quote:

“The unity of Christendom is not a luxury, but a necessity. The world will go limping until Christ’s prayer that all may be one is answered. We must have unity, not at all costs, but at all risks. A unified Church is the only offering we dare present to the coming Christ, for in it alone will He find room to dwell.”

Bishop Brent penned the following prayer which is in the 1979 Book of Common Prayer and one of my favorite prayers:

“Lord Jesus Christ, who didst stretch out thine arms of love upon the hard wood of the Cross, that all men everywhere might come within the reach of thy saving embrace: So clothe us with thy Spirit that we, reaching forth our hands in love, may bring those who do not know thee to the knowledge and love of thee; for the honor of thy Name.”

The prayer for his commemoration in the Book of Lesser Feasts and Fasts also is something that resonates in my heart. It is something that as a Chaplain and as a Priest I pray for daily and hopefully that I embody as I work with Christians of many backgrounds as well as those who are not Christians:

“Heavenly Father, whose Son prayed that we all might be one: deliver us from arrogance and prejudice, and give us wisdom and forbearance, that, following your servant Charles Henry Brent, we may be united in one family with all who confess the Name of thy Son Jesus Christ: who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and forever.”

For me the understanding that the Saints intercede for us at the very throne of God gives me great comfort, the fact that they too pray for me and hopefully I will pray for others from there when my time comes.  When I have visited various shrines in Europe to include those of Saints Killian in Würzburg, Willibald in Eichstadt and Boniface in Fulda as well as others I have felt a real presence of God that is not ordinary.  But also I realize that Saints who are not on any calendar are also interceding for us encourages me.  When I think of those who taught me in the faith, which showed me the love of God, and left a legacy that stretched beyond their lives here and realizes that they too are in that great company of the faithful is a great comfort.  I feel a connection with those saints whose feast days are somehow connected with days that are important in my life and realize the Communion of Saints as stated in the Creed is more than just an amorphous belief, but the extension of the Church beyond earthly bounds and that this is a reality that we are privileged to be a part of.

The morning the processional hymn at St. James was For All the Saints which is one of my favorite hymns.  I think that the hymn states the essence of the Communion of the Saints more than I can do in my feeble attempts so I have placed the lyrics here:

For All the Saints

Text: William W. Howe, 1823-1897
Music: Ralph Vaughan Williams, 1872-1958
Tune: SINE NOMINE, Meter: 10 10 10 with Alleluias

For all the saints, who from their labors rest,

who thee by faith before the world confessed,

thy name, O Jesus, be forever blest.

Alleluia, Alleluia!

 

Thou wast their rock, their fortress, and their might;

thou Lord, their captain in the well-fought fight;

thou in the darkness drear, their one true light.

Alleluia, Alleluia!

 

O may thy soldiers, faithful, true, and bold,

fight as the saints who nobly fought of old,

and win with them the victor’s crown of gold.

Alleluia, Alleluia!

 

O blest communion, fellowship divine!

We feebly struggle, they in glory shine;

yet all are one in thee, for all are thine.

Alleluia, Alleluia!

 

And when the strife is fierce, the warfare long,

steals on the ear the distant triumph song,

and hearts are brave again, and arms are strong.

Alleluia, Alleluia!

 

From earth’s wide bounds, from ocean’s farthest coast,

through gates of pearl streams in the countless host,

singing to Father, Son, and Holy Ghost:

Alleluia, Alleluia!

 

Anyway with my beliefs about the Communion of the Saints certainly pegging me as some sort of unbeliever to the Grand Master Pastor Marc Grizzard of the Amazing Grace Baptist Church in Canton North Carolina I need to mention how he says the Halloween Book and Bible Burning went.  It seems that the local law enforcement officials insisted that they take their event inside their church building.  I guess that the church does not have a fireplace so they had to resort to other means to be good citizens and comply with the law.  The website in bold letters claims “BOOK BURNING GREAT SUCCESS!” However they didn’t actually burn any books.  It seems that they had to use scissors and their bare hands.  I don’t know if they had a shredder available but Grand Master Pastor Marc puts it this way:

“Some have written praising God that he intervened and stopped the Book Burning because of the rain, protestors, and state laws about burning paper. Nothing was stopped. Our goal was to destroy garbage as noted below, and we did just that. We didn’t care how it was destroyed; only that it was destroyed. These same people must have never heard about “Paper, Rock, & Scissors.” Scissors cut paper, and paper tears real easy. We destroyed everything as planned. Praise God! God answered every prayer that everyone prayed, but they don’t like the answer.”

However they are planning for next year even as Grand Master Pastor Marc blasts his local Independent Fundamental Baptist neighbors: “If there were any disappointments, it was that there were no other Independent Fundamental Baptist churches or individuals standing with us locally on the KJV. They hook up with the Southern Baptist and the Freewill Baptist to fight the liquor crowd, and the abortionist, but will not stand with KJV, the Word of God.” Seems that his local brethren can’t stand him or his methods either, thank God for some people with some sense of reality.  However he plans on people joining him next year saying: “Next year we will have others standing with us, as you will see. We have heard from hundreds of churches and individuals from around the world that will be happy to do the same thing next year.” We’ll see….

Anyway, to finish with him until next year or until he posts me on his heretic list, which I am thinking about asking him to do; I will share his one comment that puts everything in perspective.  It seems that the Grand Master Pastor Marc actually places the King James Bible over God himself, or the Deity Herself:     “God magnifies His Word above His name, and so do we.” This is called “Bibliodolatry” and it is as much of a sin as anything else, maybe worse because it involves putting a translation of the Word of God above God Himself.  Sorry Marc, you are playing with fire….

johnny damonJohnny Damon Helped Lead the Yankees in Game Four

Well the World Series is not being kind to the Phillies. Tonight’s game was close with the Phillies tying it on a Pedro Feliz home run with two outs in the bottom of the eighth inning.  In the top of the 9th the Phillies brought in Brad Lidge who got Hideki Matsui to pop up to left and struck out.  Then Johnny Damon fought off Lidge and singled to left.  The Phillies shifted their infield to right when Mark Teixeira came up. Damon stole second and getting around Feliz went to 3rd which was not covered for 2 stolen bases in one play.  Lidge then hit Teixeira bringing up Alex Rodriguez who is returning to his playoff clutch form doubled and scored Damon to give the Yankees the lead.  Jorge Posada singled to drive in Teixeira and Damon to give the Yankees a three run lead.  This brought the Phillies to the plate to face Mariano Rivera who shut them down in order.  The determination on the faces of players like Rodriguez, Jeter, Damon, Teixeira and Posada shows a hunger to win the series. They are not gloating in interviews and keeping their cool.  These guys want to win and I predicted that they would win in six, but it is possible with their bats coming alive that they could win it in five.  In tomorrow’s game the amazing Cliff Lee and his 0.54 playoff ERA will face A. J. Burnett.  I think that the pitching matchup favors the Phillies however it is conceivable that Lee could revert to his past performance against the Yankees and get hit hard.

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October 31, 2009 · 23:58

Reformation Day: How Martin Luther and Hans Kung Brought Me to an Anglo-Catholic Perspective, a Book and Bible Burning Reaches Ludicrous Speed and Yankees take Game Three 8-5

Today is Reformation Day that is right sports fans, Reformation Day.  Now most people, unless they are Lutheran or a really “reformed” Presbyterian or Reformed Church kind of Christian have no clue about this. However when a young Priest and Theology Professor at the University of Wittenberg named Martin Luther posted the 95 Theses on the door of the Schlosskirche in Wittenberg it changed the course of Western as well as Church history.

martin-lutherMartin Luther

Luther posted his “theses” which was basically points of theological debate on the door of the Schlosskirche it broke the hold of the Roman Catholic Church of Europe, brought about what would become an increasingly fractured and diverse church in the west and established the primacy of the State over the Church in Western nations.  Luther intended nothing more than reforming and curtailing abuses in the Catholic Church and how the Church saw grace, faith and scripture.  His act and subsequent actions when put under the “ban” by the Pope drew to him the support of German nobility who desired to be free of the Holy Roman Empire and rapidly engulfed Europe in religious, political and military conflict.

The theology that Luther developed based upon the Three Solas; Sola fides by faith alone, Sola Gratia by grace alone and Sola Scriptura by scripture alone became the hallmarks of the Reformation and without getting into the weeds to dissect all the ramifications for the Church and the world impact the way that many Christians practice and express their faith to the current day.

For me Martin Luther was along with Fr Hans Kung, Jurgen Moltmann, and Alistair McGrath a key figure in the development of my faith.  At some point I will probably get deeper into this on this blog, but right now it suffices to say that it was Martin Luther who confirmed to my the essential nature of the Eucharist to the Christian faith and which helping bring me to a catholic understanding of the faith versus a truly reformed Protestant understanding of it.  I do not agree with all of Luther’s points or ideas but his Theology of the Cross brought me to a much more incarnational understanding of the Christian faith especially in regards to understanding that it is only through the Cross that we come to know God in a truly Christian sense of understanding.  For Luther the Cross was central to understanding the humanity’s relationship to the Trinity, not as Calvin would enunciate God’s will and predestination from before time began.  Kung from the Catholic side is a big Luther supporter (see On Being a Christian) and Moltmann has brought Luther’s thought to the 21st Century in Theology of Hope and The Crucified God as has Anglican Theologian and Luther scholar Alistair McGrath (The Mystery of the Cross.) All of these men helped me in my transition following seminary to a moderate Anglo-Catholic expression of faith that places a high place to Scripture, Apostolic Tradition and Reason in interpreting and living out the faith.

luther_at_wormsLuther at the Diet of Worms

I did a lot of study on the Lutheran Reformation in and after seminary and in 1996 while stationed in Germany as a mobilized Army Reserve Chaplain had the privilege of organizing a series of Reformation tours to Wittenberg on Reformation day where we attended the Reformationstag service at the Schlosskirche and I led a walking tour of the town.  One of the parishioners from the chapel asked me if I had been to Wittenberg before because I seemed like I knew every place in the town.  I had to tell her that I had not been there in person but because of my study felt like I had from the time we stepped off of our tour bus.  I also directed a tour to Worms where Luther on trial before Charles V was told to recant his writings and made his timeless statement:

“Unless I am convicted by scripture and plain reason – I do not accept the authority of the popes and councils, for they have contradicted each other – my conscience is captive to the Word of God. I cannot and I will not recant anything for to go against conscience is neither right nor safe. God help me. Amen.” It is legend that Luther said the words “Here I stand. I cannot do otherwise. God help me, Amen!” These words were probably only added later by someone else to make the story more interesting as they do not appear in the council notes.  Not that Luther would have objected.  The film version is linked here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U0tk_EvWXQQ&feature=player_embedded

marburgZwingli and Luther at Marburg

Likewise his debate with Swiss Reformer Ulrich Zwingli at the Marburg colloquy regarding points of doctrine was significant for me. It was held that they might unify their movements. They agreed on all points except the Eucharist where Luther enunciated a very catholic understanding of the “Real Presence” and Zwingli held to be a symbolic memorial though might have some spiritual component.   Luther would not budge and to each of Zwingli’s arguments pulled back the tablecloth to reveal the words “This is my body, this is my blood” which he had carved on the table.  They departed without achieving unity, something that has plagued Protestants to this day and when Zwingli was killed in battle when leading the militia from Zurich to fight the approaching Catholic Army.  When Luther heard about the Zwingli’s death he commented Zwingli drew his sword. Therefore he has received the reward that Christ spoke of, ‘All who take the sword will perish by the sword’ [Matt. 26:52]. If God has saved him, he has done so above and beyond the rule.” (Table Talk #1451)

I have always had a special place in my heart for Luther even with all of his flaws which were many; he was earthy, spoke his mind, and had no problem with having fun or good beer.  Additionally he had a bit of an anger problem, suffered from clinical depression and had issues with his father.  Luther could be an ass, but then I can be an ass too.

Well the “unhappy few” at the Amazing Grace Baptist Church in Canton North Carolina are moving right along in their book and Bible burning crusade led by their Grand Master Pastor Marc Grizzard. In the past few days he has gotten into a pissing contest with a very conservative and should I even say “Fundamentalist” theologian named James White.  Evidently Mr. White is on the opposite end of the Fundamental spectrum according to Grand Master Pastor Marc along with “the agnostics, liberals, New Evangelicals, and Bible doubters.”  I did find it fascinating to see how Grand Master Pastor Marc’s little brain works in the text of their terrible translation tiff which is linked here: http://amazinggracebaptistchurchkjv.com/subpage570.html

I especially enjoyed this comment from his most recent webpage update where he castigates Mr. White:

“I had rather be uneducated and irrational and know that I have God’s preserved, inspired, infallible, inerrant Word of God, than to be a scholar who doesn’t know where God’s Word is. One person said, “I’d rather be an fool on fire, than a scholar on ice.” Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying a person should not better themselves or study. They should! But if study and education is going to rob you of your unwavering faith in the KJB, than leave the education to the Bible doubters. I will never be open to anything but the KJV, call me what you want. I don’t care!” Pastor Marc Grizzard

MARC KNEELING2Profiles in Stupidity Pastor Marc Grizzard

Since he has invited people to call him anything they want I think idiot works well. Have no fear he is already talking about next year’s event:

“God has showed me why this years event went around the world. Check back in a couple of weeks as we begin to “Turn this world upside down.” Acts 17:6 “…These that have turned the world upside down” “Coming to a town near you!!!!” Please not my town.

Make arrangements now, if it gets popular you might have to book through Ticketmaster or the Amazing Grace Baptist Church Box Office.  By the way the start time is 7PM and Marc has said if you are not a member or have an invitation from him you are not welcome, and that includes law enforcement who promise to be there, kind of reminds me of the concert in the Blues Brothers. Of course he will have to compete with the folks at the fictional Landover Baptist Church to have the world’s greatest book and Bible burning. http://www.landoverbaptist.org/news1002/bookburning.html

Of course I wonder about a group of separatist Baptists staking their faith not on Jesus but the King James Version. It seems absurd for a group that descends from people who valued religious liberty to be burning book or Bibles of any kind.  The fact that they have set an Anglican translation, authorized by a flaming homosexual who hated, persecuted and killed the early English Baptists and which is actually a later version than the 1611 that has multiple versions, the Oxford and the Cambridge and is based on a text that was not the most common text used by the early or “ante-Nicene” church is beyond me.  The fact that King James onlyism is only about 100 years old and comes from a unusual 7th Day Adventist preacher and was advanced by the founder of the Pensacola Bible Institute who experimented with Zen Buddhism, thought about becoming a Jesuit and believed in a bunch of stuff including UFO;s that most Fundamentalists would deride only adds to my mystification.  But then to quote Forrest Gump “stupid is as stupid does.”  Congratulations Pastor Marc you win the Gump award for 2009. Congratulations, your 1973 orange Ford Pinto is waiting in the A-1 Auto Salvage in Fayetteville.

Tonight the Abbess and I will go to a Halloween party at our favorite restaurant the Gordon Biersch Brewery Restaurant in Virginia Beach.  I went as a baseball player from a scary team, the Orioles and the Abbess is going as a Hippy Chick.  It was fun, nice people, good music and 70’s and 80’s music videos and great beer.

Mariners Yankees BaseballAlex Rodriguez Broke out of His Slump

Now I sit watching game three of the World Series. For once replay was used to overturn a bad call, Alex Rodriguez getting his first hit, a 2 run home run that hit the lens of the right field television camera that was initially ruled a double.  Cole Hammels was hit hard as I predicted giving up five runs before he was pulled in the 5th, one of the runs coning off the bat of Andy Pettitte who drove in Nick Swisher and then later scored.  The Yankees bats began to come alive, Nick Swisher who had had a miserable post season hit a home run and a double, and Alex Rodriguez broke out of his slump with his 2 run homer. Hideki Matsui hit his second home run of the series with 2 outs in the 8th as a pinch hitter against Brett Myers.  For the Phillies the hot hitting Ryan Howard has continued to slump striking out 3 more times tonight to make him 2 for 13 with 9 strike outs in the first three games.  On the other hand Jayson Wirth continues to hammer the ball hitting two solo shots tonight.

Tomorrow should be nice, Church in the morning after an extra hour sleep, followed by some study for my exams and game four of the series tomorrow with C.C. Sabathia coming back against Joel Blanton.  Advantage has to go to the Yankees with Sabathia on the hill and thier bats starting to come to life. Should be another great game.

Peace,

Padre Steve+

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October 27, 2009 · 23:24

Padre Steve’s World Series Prediction and Book and Bible Burning Update

“The key to winning baseball games is pitching, fundamentals, and three run homers.” Earl Weaver

*Mar 06 - 00:05*C C Sabathia

Well Baseball Fans here we are, the day before the beginning of the World Series of Baseball to be played between the current World Champion Philadelphia Phillies and the resurgent New York Yankees. The series arguably should be one of the best in years.  There is no doubt that these teams are the best in baseball and no controversy that one or the other does not deserve to be in the series and if you can sum up who will win this series it is just like Earl Weaver said: “The key to winning baseball games is pitching, fundamentals, and three run homers.”  The two teams are well matched with each having great seasons and dominating their playoff opponents.

cliff-lee-philliesCliff Lee

Charlie Manuel took his Phillies from last year’s series title to the very hard to achieve return to the series in the following year.  Manuel is a great manager who survived some rocky times where the ever loving Philadelphia fans and sports writers were calling for his public execution outside Independence Hall. In doing this he managed the Phillies to a 93-69 record in the regular season, a 4 game win over the red hot Colorado Rockies in the Division Series and a 4-1 thumping of the Dodgers in the National League Championship Series.  Phillies hitting and the pitching of late season acquisition Cliff Lee from the Indians have been the secret to the Phillies success.  Ryan Howard, Chase Utley, Shane Victorino and Jayson Werth provide the power for the Phillies who hit 244 home runs in the regular season and scored 820 runs with a team batting average of .258.  Their pitching staff had an ERA of 4.16. Since the Phillies are in the National League their pitchers hit which has to drive down the team average. The Phillies pitching which was at times problematic held up in the playoffs with only one meltdown by the bullpen in game 2 against Colorado and one shelling of a starter, Cole Hammels in game 2 of the NLCS in Los Angeles.  Brad Lidge who went from the best reliever in the league to being relieved of his closer duties toward the end of the season came back and has not allowed a run in the playoffs.  Speaking of the playoffs the Phillies were 7-2 and hit 14 home runs, batted .261 with their pitchers having a .304 ERA.

charlie-manuelCharlie Manuel

The Yankees make their first return to the series since 2003 when they lost to the Marlins and the collapse in the 2004 ALCS which spelled beginning of the end of the Joe Torre dynasty in the Bronx.  Under new skipper Joe Girardi the Yankees failed to make the playoffs in 2008 for the first time since 1994.  The job of managing a team like the Yankees requires a certain finesse, to quote Earl Weaver “A manager’s job is simple. For one hundred sixty-two games you try not to screw up all that smart stuff your organization did last December.”  In the off season the Yankees added C.C. Sabathia, Mark Teixeira and A.J. Burnett to their arsenal, improved their bullpen as their “home grown” relief staff matured into a formidable force, and overcame off season controversy and injury with Alex Rodriguez and Girardi was able to make the adjustments and the Yankees came together as a team, not just a high priced bunch of individuals who happen to play together.  During the regular season the Yankees went 103-59 with the best record in the Majors.  They hit 244 home runs with a team average of .283 and the team ERA of 4.26.  In the playoff they went 7-2 with 14 Home Runs, a team batting average of .262 and ERA of 2.04.

ryan-howard1Ryan Howard

During the regular season the teams met for one three game series at Yankee Stadium where the Phillies took 2 out of 3.  Game one the Phillies won 7-3 with Jimmy Rollins hitting the first pitch out against A.J. Burnett in a game that netted 7 home runs.  The Yankees won the second game 5-4 coming from behind as Alex Rodriguez hit a tying home run of Brad Lidge and Melky Cabrera singled in the winning run giving Lidge the loss.  The rubber game was won by the Phillies 4-3 in 11 after Lidge blew a second save attempt in the 9th.

Mariners Yankees BaseballAlex Rodriguez

Looking ahead at match ups we know that both teams can hit, so the key will be pitching, as Earl Weaver said: “The only thing that matters is what happens on the little hump out in the middle of the field.” Game one will see C.C. Sabathia against Cliff Lee.  The two former Indians team-mates have performed magnificently in the playoffs with both dominating their opponents Lee pitching 24.1 innings with a 0.74 ERA and Sabathia 22.2 innings with a 1.19 ERA.  This one should be close and it will likely be decided on a big hit or a mistake, if the game gets to the bullpen and is close the Yankees should win.  In his career Lee has faced the Yankees 9 times and is 4-4 with a 5.02 ERA and a .297 team ERA when facing him in 52 innings work.  Sabathia has a career record of 1-1 against Philadelphia and a 4.36 ERA with Phillies hitters having a .265 average against him in 20.2 innings pitched.  All things equal I have to go on past performance and give the Yankees game one.

mariano-riveraMariano Rivera

Game two pits Pedro Martinez against A.J. Burnett.  Both men are capable of big game performances and both are no stranger to the other team.  Martinez has faced the Yankees 32 times with a career record of 11-11 against the Bronx Bombers including big games in the 2004 ALCS when pitching for the Red Sox.  He has a career 3.20 ERA against the Yankees as well as holding them to a .211 team batting average.  Martinez has had a long recovery period and is not the same as he was a few years back but he owned the Dodgers.  Since returning his is 5-1 in the regular season with a 3.63 ERA.  He gave up 7 home runs in 44.2 innings.  Burnett has a career record of 5-8 against the Phillies with a 4.75 ERA and with the Phillies and an opponent team batting average of .263.  In his one appearance this year against Philadelphia he gave up 5 runs on 8 hits including 3 home runs in 6 inning work.  This game is hard to call but I think that the Phillies take this one unless Pedro has a very bad outing.  If the game is close and Burnett can get the game to the bullpen the advantage shifts to the Yankees with Mariano Rivera in waiting in the bullpen.  He is the Yankees silver bullet should the game be close.

The series should go back to Philadelphia knotted at one.  In game 3 the Phillies will pitch Cole Hammels against Andy Pettitte.  Hammels was MVP of last year’s World Series.  Hammels is a career 0-1 against the Yankees in 2 starts in which he has pitched 13 innings with a 2.77 ERA and a .286 opposing team batting average.  This year he got knocked around a bit in Yankee Stadium.  This year Hammels has went 10-11 in 32 appearances with a 4.32 ERA and his opponents hitting .277 against him.  In the playoff he has suffered in 3 games and 14.2 innings work he has a 1-1 record but has given up 20 hits including 6 home runs, 12 walks with a 6.75 ERA.  Making him the game 3 starter is a good move by Charlie Manuel giving him the start in Philadelphia rather than New York but I do not think that this will save him.  I expect that the Yankees will hit him hard.  Andy Pettitte gets the start for the Yankees.  In 7 career starts against the Phillies he is 1-1 with a 3.67 ERA and a .273 opposing batting average.  He was knocked around by the Phillies in his appearance against them this year though the game was a no-decision for him.   During the regular season Pettitte went 14-8 with a 4.16 ERA and an opposing batting average of .271.  During the playoffs he is 2-0 in 3 starts with a 2.37 ERA and .246.  I give the advantage to the Yankees as I do not see Hammels pulling this one off.

When we get to game 4 the starters are not announced by assuming that the Yankees will pitch Sabathia and that they will win.  I expect that the Phillies will take game 5 with Cliff Lee back on the mound and force the series back to New York where Andy Pettitte will get the win.  If by some chance the Phillies win game 6 the Yankees will take it in game 7 with C.C. Sabathia going strong and Rivera closing the game out.  Two other factors could play a part in this series, the first is the weather and while the weather is not expected to be too bad you never know what happens this time of year.  The second factor that will likely hurt the Yankees is the lack of the designated hitter in the games in Philadelphia.

My prediction is the Yankees in 6 with an outside chance that the series will go seven games.  I expect that there will be much drama as the two teams are stacked with talent and personality. Jimmy Rollins has predicted a 5 game Phillies win which if you ask me is a pretty ballsy statement. The Phillies certainly are confident as the reigning champs and will not go down easily.  This has the makings of a classic World Series that no matter who wins should be amazing to watch.

And now a Book and Bible Burning Update:  The Grand Master Pastor Marc has announced “game on” and that he is going ahead with the Halloween Book burning at Amazing Grace Baptist Church in Canton North Carolina.  It begins at &PM until all the books are done… well done.  Anyway, don’t bother to bring the marshmallows or beer as Grand Master Pasto Marc has put this announcement on his website:

“This event is not open to the public. Only our members and those by special invitation from the pastor only. All others are tresspassing.” (Marc’s misspelling and grammar errors not mine.) Of course the Beloved Grand Master Pastor Marc is a “true scholar” as opposed to the rest of us apostates by his reasoning that a “A true scholar is one who believes the Bible (KJV) whether he understands it or not.” And a ‘scholar’ (most) today is someone who does not believe the Bible (KJV) is the Word of God, but questions it.”

He advertises “Great preaching and singing” but since he will likely be the preacher, and maybe his daddy too it seems a little like chest pounding to me.  The fact that this great preaching and singing will be simply entertaining the faithful versus reaching the lost seems a little disingenuous when he talks about wanting to save souls while not attracting media attention.  Anyone who posts to the web knows that it will be seen and if controversial picked up by the media.  Likewise his stated goal of only wanting “to make a statement to our community not to the world” rings hollow as he put it on the web, attempted to advertise in the newspaper and gave a TV interview.  He claims that it has been twisted and lied about by “commentators, reporters, and announcers” about but they are his words on TV as well as the website.  It’s hard to twist someone as straight forward as the Grand Master Pastor Marc.   He loves his community and the media, especially the media of whom he makes the following comparison. Our Media 2000 Years Ago-Same As Today.

Acts 17:5″But the Jews which believed not, moved with envy, took unto them certain lewd fellows of the baser sort, and gathered a company, and set all the city on an uproar, and assaulted the house of Jason (this is not your typical brother that would be “Blown away”), and sought to bring them out to the people.” As far as I know the media in Canton and Ashville is not heavily Jewish, nor have I heard about anyone assaulting his house, unless assaulting is meant being asked for media interviews.  The problem for the Grand Master Pastor Marc is that he wants to control and spin the message, and the one time he got on TV he looked stupid simply because he answered their questions.  Oh well if you want to get an invitation I do suggest calling him at 828-648-0213 or e-mail jonmarcgrizzard@aol.com

The website is here:  http://amazinggracebaptistchurchkjv.com/Download99.html

The church if you want to do a tail-gaiter off campus the address of the church and location of the book burning is 6841 Cruso Road Canton , N.C. 28716.  Look for the Sheriff and Fire Marshal who will be parked out front waiting to cite him for burning without a permit.

Peace,

Padre Steve+

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October 25, 2009 · 23:26

How Padre Steve Got His Driver’s License, Passed Geometry, Escaped Advanced Algebra and Selects Mood Music for a Book Burning

Note to Parents: While this article talks about my own misdeeds it is not an endorsement or blessing of your kid doing such things unless they do it with more style and flair than me.  In which case I need to meet them, as I do appreciate genius and want to make sure that they have the opportunity to school them in the ways of the “Farce.”

ferris buehlerCutting Class and Going to a Museum…Hmmm…

I was watching the move Ferris Buehler’s Day Off a couple of weeks ago and I began to reminisce about the good and not so good times in high school.  When I watched the movie I was reminded of so of my own sneaky misdeeds by which I weaseled my way through or out of classes, escaped to get my driver’s license by playing dead, well just played really sick and cut Geometry class by hiding in the library.  You see no one suspected me of such behavior because of my shy nice guy persona. Now to be fair I was pretty introverted most of the time. To top it off I was a NJROTC cadet in the years following Vietnam, played on the Sophomore Football team, albeit not very well, was active in church and I was a pretty nice guy…not like I am now.  I look in some of my yearbooks and see the comments inscribed by friends and they all pretty much reflect the image that I put out. Thus though I was a complete goof off in some classes and show off in other classes that I liked, most people never suspected me of anything, except my little brother Jeff who had me nailed though he was still in elementary school.  Little brothers and sisters have that ability.

Steve&TuffyA Face that You Could Trust…An Unlikely Miscreant

I found that by faking being a really serious student was far better cover to get away with things than being an in your face rebel like some of my other classmates were.  The fact that I carried a large stack of books with me everywhere I went added the image.  It did make my arms tired but when you have little else to use you take advantage of what you have.

All of us back in the 1970s in Stockton had a common core of classes to prepare us for life. One of them was a class in health which also included some of the academic preparations for drivers training.  I was in a class with a bunch of folks that I have had contact with even today which was taught by Mrs. Davenport.   During the class we got to see two of the most class “scare the shit out of you” films of all time.  They were Wheels of Tragedy produced in 1963 by the Ohio State Patrol and Red Asphalt produced in the early 1970s by the California Highway Patrol. Wheels of Tragedy can be seen in its entirety by following this link: http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=6728780942571899981# while Red Asphalt can be seen here: http://www.documentingreality.com/forum/f166/red-asphalt-18740/

They are to this day some of the creepiest films ever made and I’m sure that the girls were really grossed out by them, especially when Mrs. Davenport left the room and couple of us played it backwards on the 16mm projector.  If these films were shown in theaters today they would get an “R” rating for violence and close up depictions of dead bodies.  I don’t know if they are still shown as they are somewhat dated, but they are pretty graphic in kind of a retro way.

Once we got through that class which was the first or second quarter of the sophomore year for many of us we started the actual drivers education portion in the spring so that hopefully when we turned 16 we would be able to take and pass the State of California written test and the road test administered at the Department of Motor Vehicles, better known as the DMV.  This class was taught by Mr. Allerdice, a stocky retired Marine with a close cropped hair.   He was like having a drill sergeant, albeit a nice drill sergeant but a drill sergeant nonetheless.  These classes were limited to 3 students and included a bunch of time behind a simulator followed by supervised driving in a Chevy Nova which had two sets of controls, one for the student and the “My God we’re about to die!” controls on the right side of the car at which Mr. Allerdice sat.   This was somewhat intimidating but still kind of fun, especially because we knew that if we were successful we got our learners permit and were pretty much golden for the DMV.  I had no problems with the class, really sailed through it and got ready for the real deal training on my parents 1972 Chevy Impala which was about the size of a small armored vehicle.

When the day came for my driver’s test I had to find a way out of school when my mom could take me to the DMV.  This came shortly after my 16th birthday at the end of March 1976.  That morning I told my mom to be ready to meet me about 10 AM.  In second period I told the teacher, whoever it was as I cannot remember what class I was taking that I was feeling sick, felt feverish and that I might throw up.  Since I had finished gym class the period before I was still somewhat sweaty which provided the cover for the fever, a sweaty and flushed face is great cover when feigning illness.  The teacher wrote me a pass to the school nurse.  I trudged down the hallway like I had the plague until I got to the nurses’ office which was in the main lateral hallway of the school where many of us had our lockers.  The nurse was a middle aged and a bit heavy set African American woman who was known for being wise to students feigning illness who was a most genial person.  I told her my story and still sweaty and flushed she took my temperature.  I prayed….and thankfully the temp was there, 99.1 but still high.  How I pulled that off I don’t know to this day.  She then looked at me and said “Young Man, do you still feel like you are going to throw up?”  I nodded meekly careful not to look her in the eye.  She went to the sink and got a paper cup and filled it with warm water.  She then said “You drink this; it will either settle your stomach or bring up whatever is down there.” I had not expected such good fortune.  I walked into the adjoining rest room and closed the door.  I looked down and the toilet and looked at the cup up water and smiled. With a grotesque simulation of an episode of projectile vomiting I tossed the water into the toilet.  I did this again and again for about 5 minutes.  When I was done I flushed the toilet, rinsed my face off with warm water and looking even more ill than I had went back into the nurses office.  She was already on the phone with my mom.  “Ma’am, your son is really sick, and throwing up. You need to come and get him now.” The time was 9:30 AM.  She wrote me a note which bought my freedom and told me that she “hoped that I felt better.” I thanked her in a most sincere way and I walked slowly to the main entrance on Center Street.  About 9:55 mom came pulling up to the school.    “Steven, are you okay? The nurse said that you were really sick.” I said coyly, “Mom, I told you that I would be ready to take my driver’s test, let’s go.”  She gave me the most puzzled expression and said, “But she said that you were really sick.” I simply said, “I know mom, I told you that I would be here.”  Years later I told her the details of how I pulled it off details which totally amazed her.

I guess that it’s like Ferris Buehler said: “The key to faking out the parents is the clammy hands. It’s a good non-specific symptom; I’m a big believer in it. A lot of people will tell you that a good phony fever is a dead lock, but, uh… you get a nervous mother, you could wind up in a doctor’s office. That’s worse than school. You fake a stomach cramp, and when you’re bent over, moaning and wailing, you lick your palms. It’s a little childish and stupid, but then, so is high school.”

My problems in more advanced mathematics began to occur in 9th grade when someone decided to throw the alphabet into what had otherwise been innocuous math questions that I could do in my sleep.  First period of 9th grade began in the hell of Mr. Nichley’s Algebra class.  Mr. Nichley was a throwback teacher.  He looked and dressed like it was still 1959, gray suit, boring tie and fedora hat.  He started the class speaking a language that I did not understand and wrote strange equations on the chalkboard which had new symbols and blurred the boundaries between the alphabet and the Arabic numbers that I had learned so well.  Unfortunately he was not much for explaining things to numbskulls like me and when I asked a question his answers always sounded like he was speaking in some foreign language.  The problem was that Nichley often seemed to be more intent on enforcing his brand of discipline than teaching.  I lost count of the number of students that he sent to the vice principle for minor infractions, including those done outside of school.  Some of the girls came in one morning very tan in the middle of the fall after have sat under sun lamps the day before.  This drew them blue slips.  If you talked in class and he was not in a cheery mood, which happened to be quite often, you got sent down.  Once he sent like 8 or 9 students in one class session.  I got sent down once without a blue slip.  However late in the fall Nichley was diagnosed with cancer of some kind and we got a never ending stream of substitutes.  Somehow I got through the year with C’s of various degrees and escaped to high school where I was faced with yet another test of my now severely limited advanced mathematical skills.  Nichley would survive to an advanced age dying just a few years ago in his late 80s surprising me because I figured that he must have died long ago as he looked like he was in his 70s in the 70s.

High school was different.  Geometry made more sense than algebra, I think because I could see the diagrams.  However, despite understanding it better I found our teacher, Mrs. Rundel boring as hell, so boring that I began to cut class.  Now Rundel’s class was 6th period, the last of the day.  This meant that as long as I didn’t get caught the next stop was the bus and home…or early in the year football practice.  The first quarter I only made a few cuts by going to the library.  The library was the perfect place, who would go to the library to cut class? That’s like running from God by going to church…wait I did that too.  But the library staff assumed that I was supposed to be there as I nestled my body amid the history and reference sections.  I got a “B” that quarter.  The next quarter I upped the ante.  I was becoming more and more bored, and Rundel always seemed to buy my excuse that I called into the counselors’ office or some easily verifiable story.  Of course to verify she would have to go see the counselor as she didn’t have a phone in the classroom and I’m sure my studious and law abiding demeanor helped the charade.  The 2nd quarter I pulled a “C” and the 3rd quarter I cut more and dropped to a “C” minus. What was amazing was that I was missing huge amounts of class and still passing.  The true test was the 4th quarter, this time I cut class more often than not.  I think I cut 23 out of about 45 class meetings, all in the library.  The last day of the quarter I showed up. I had to take 7 tests that afternoon and I finished the quarter with a 60.5% average just enough to squeak by with a “D” minus. My mom was surprised at the grade; she had not gotten a notice mid quarter about substandard academic performance because I had intercepted it and forged her signature.  She asked about the grade and I gave her my innocent, I had a “hard time with the class in the last few weeks of the quarter” story.   Rundel retired that summer and I’m sure that I had to have something to do with it. Thank God she did not call my mom like Mr.  Rooney did Mrs. Buehler:  “He has missed an unacceptable number of school days. In the opinion of this educator, Ferris is not taking his academic growth seriously. Now I’ve spent my morning examining his records. If Ferris thinks that he can just coast through this month and still graduate, he is sorely mistaken. I have no reservations whatsoever about holding him back another year.”

My less than stellar experience in mathematics ended in 11th grade when I came up against the advanced algebra teacher, Mr. Nadeau.  Nadeau announced to the class that he planned on failing half of us. I realized I was definitely in the half to be failed.  I knew that I had met my match and no amount of chicanery was going to get me through the way I got through the previous year.  I raised my hand, asked to be excused and went immediately to Mr. Brascessco my counselor.  I told him that I needed out of the class now, asked what was available and was enrolled in English Literature and sitting in that class in which I was quite successful and to this day I have never had to take another math class in my academic career, I was smart enough to know that my strength was writing and research, obviously honed to a fine edge while cutting class in the library.

And now…my mood music selections for the good folks at Amazing Grace Baptist Church in Canton North Carolina and their eminent Grand Master Pastor Marc Grizzard.  I have written a couple of times about them (see my latest on them here: https://padresteve.wordpress.com/2009/10/25/halloween-book-burning-update-bring-the-marshmallows-please/ )Since I looked at what they think is good music and found nothing suitable, they don’t have the Horst Wesel Lied in their music library. Since they can’t spell the name of the song and certainly wouldn’t be able to sing it like good Nazis, I have picked a few more contemporary tunes to help heat up the night.

I would start with the classic Disco Inferno by the Trammps, followed by Fire by the Ohio Players.  Once they got into it and started gyrating to the music while piling those Bibles on the fire I would switch over to a different style and play Burning Bridges the theme from Kelly’s Heroes performed by the Mike Curb Congregation and Foreigner’s Hot Blooded, REO Speedwagon’s Keep the Fire Burning, Linda Ronstadt’s Heat Wave, Abba’s Kisses of Fire. Continuing I would go with Johnny Cash and The Ring of Fire and the Talking Heads Burning Down the House and Blondie’s Atomic. Since this is a spiritual event I would end with AC/DC’s Highway to Hell.

It seems that Grand Master Pastor Marc has run afoul of the Fire Marshall and evidently he has no burn permit and that because of burn restrictions he won’t be able to have the burning.  Evidently Marc has decided the path of confrontation with the Fire and Law Enforcement agencies.  I can see this getting picked up in some of the offbeat press gets hold of this and starts presenting it as another example of Christian persecution. This could really be fun to watch and if I was there I would bring the beer.

I do hope the good folks at Amazing Grace Baptist and the Grand Master Pastor Marc will appreciate all that I do for them.  By the way call them at 828-648-0213 write Grand Master Pastor Marc at his personal e-mail: jonmarcgrizzard@aol.com

Peace, Padre Steve+

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October 25, 2009 · 01:24

Halloween Book Burning Update: Bring the Marshmallows Please!

The good folks at Amazing Grace Baptist Church under the direction of the Grand Master Pastor Marc Grizzard in Canton North Carolina have announced that the Halloween Book and Bible Burning is still on.  If I lived down there I would bring some, hot dogs chili and beer.  Of course I would be the only one drinking the beer but it could be fun.

MARC KNEELING2The Grand Master Pastor Marc Grizzard

Their website is back up, and it is a hoot and I couldn’t make this up if I tried.  Now I will give the Grand Master Pastor Marc, which if you ask me is a French corruption of the proper English “Mark” and rings of irony, proper credit as he does seem a man of conviction if not ignorance.  Since he is so convinced of that the KJV is the preserved, inspired, infallible, and innerrant (His misspelling not mine) Word of God I will at least credit him with being honest to his convictions about the KJV and its sources as misplaced as his those are.  Now do I believe that the KJV is the Word of God?  Hell yes, just like all the other translations that Grand Master Marc is preparing to burn in his bonfire.  You see I have a real problem with burning Bibles even if I don’t like the particular translation.   You see even though I am a moderate, read “Liberal” if you are someone like Grand Master Marc, I have the highest respect for the Bible as the inspired Word of God.  As such I would embark with great trepidation before burning one as somehow I think that might qualify as some kind of sin after all, I wasn’t there when the Biblical writers put pen to parchment, nor was I with the people who faithfully worked to preserve it.  Likewise, somehow I don’t think that somehow God stopped time when the KJV was published to make it the end all of Bible translation.

As I read through the website: http://amazinggracebaptistchurchkjv.com/Download99.html I realized that Grand Master Marc has a dual mission.  He is about promoting himself.  This guy likes his 15 minutes of fame.  In order to get big media attention he has staged this horrendously grotesque Book and Bible Burning to get on a stage that he would not otherwise occupy.  He is a self admitted college dropout with no academic credentials or for that matter any credentials other than his self promotion.  The website says it all: “I would like to thank all who have written and called to give your support. We would also like to say thanks to all of the radio, newspaper, magazine, and Television media (Fox News, Wall Street Journal, CNN, CBS, Turner Broadcasting, and hundreds more) who would love to do interviews. All of our future comments will be posted on this web site. There is no way possible to answer thousands of emails, phone calls, and letters.”

Grand Master Marc is the subject of hundreds of news articles even by major networks.  So I should now have a little fun at his expense and maybe help him to even more fame, or possibly infamy.  First you gotta love his list of Bibles, they are a great collection and there is a good chance that most readers actually own or have owned one of these: “NIV, RSV, NKJV, TLB, NASB, NEV, NRSV, ASV, NWT, Good News for Modern Man, The Evidence Bible, The Message Bible, The Green Bible, ect” but not any mention of Rheims-Douhey, the New American, the Jerusalem or New Jerusalem Bibles, those abdominal Catholic translations, however I did find those on the page that deals with Satan’s Bibles.

The list of books by Satan’s popular Christian authors is sweet: “We will also be burning Satan’s popular books written by heretics like Westcott & Hort , Bruce Metzger, Billy Graham , Rick Warren , Bill Hybels , John McArthur, James Dobson , Charles Swindoll , John Piper , Chuck Colson , Tony Evans, Oral Roberts, Jimmy Swagart , Mark Driskol, Franklin Graham , Bill Bright, Tim Lahaye, Paula White , T.D. Jakes, Benny Hinn , Joyce Myers , Brian McLaren , Robert Schuller, Mother Teresa , The Pope , Rob Bell, Erwin McManus , Donald Miller, Shane Claiborne, Brennan Manning, William Young, Will Graham , and many more.” Now I can agree that some of these folks are heretics, or at least wack-jobs but again I just have a problem about burning books it just seems a bit Nazi or Communist like.

book_burning33The Grand Master Marc’s Heroes Having a Grand Time Burning Books

Of course all of this goes back to Eve as it should right, I guess Grand Master Marc doesn’t really like women too much as he says: “Eve became a scholar and began to correct God’s Word by adding to it. So God cursed her just like he promised.” First I don’t know what school Eve went to or that she was into Bible translation but seems like a plan to me, I guess all the false versions are Eve’s fault.

At least they are serving food and if you are interested taking donations: “We will be serving Bar-b-Que Chicken, fried chicken, and all the sides. If you have any books or music to donate, please call us for pick-up. If you like you can drop them off at our church door anytime. Thanks. 828-648-0213” You gotta love Southern hospitality so you can write him at his personal e-mail address: jonmarcgrizzard@aol.com so please give them a call or e-mail if you desire, like Grand master Marc says to do.

chicom book burningGrand Master Marc’s Chicom Friends at Work

Anyway, Grand Master Marc has listed his own bunch of professional athletes bound for hell including Tom Brady you Patriots fans

tom-brady-patriotsRepublican and Patriot Tom Brady is on the Grand Master Marc’s List too

http://amazinggracebaptistchurchkjv.com/gpage38.html as well as a list of heretics. http://amazinggracebaptistchurchkjv.com/gpage19.html Be assured your favorite pastor, teacher, preacher, evangelist or Christian publication or institution of higher learning is likely on the list.

NKBurningNorth Korean Commies Like this Method of Fellowship and Entertainment too…Kim Chee anyone?

Some of the descriptions of the sins that various celebrities, theologians who are “going to hell” are laughable if the Grand Master Marc weren’t as serious as a throw rod in a 1981 Chevette.  Kirsten Dunst makes the list as  having  “Checked into a rehab facility for “depression” and being a “Lutheran.”

010_Kirsten_Dunst_1234Kirsten Dunst: For Grand Master Marc Lutheran Suffering from Depression is worthy of Hell

Another: “Jonathan Rhys Meyers was baptized shortly after birth which will lead him straight to hell.”  Shoeless Joe Jackson makes the list as if being banned from baseball forever is not enough:  “Shoeless Joe” Jackson and seven other White Sox players were banned from baseball after taking money to throw the 1919 World Series.” I’m sorry didn’t Grand Master Marc not see the Field of Dreams? But Pete Rose makes the list too.

shoeless joeIsn’t it Enough to Ban Shoeless Joe From Baseball forever and not Send Him to Hell Too?

The Grand Master Pastor Marc also nails some theologians to the wall including John “no I’m not having fun” Calvin as well as others.  One of the best is Classic Liberal German theologian Karl Lachmann who among real theological heresies had “long hair.”  The lists propagated by Grand Master Marc could go on and on and actually do.  The fact is that he damns people who have given their lives to Christ and the Gospel including people who have sacrificed all to do this based purely on his whim which he calls being Scriptural is a shame.  At the same time we can thank the Deity Herself that his little “remnant” is so small and that this will blow over as well.  Of course he doesn’t help his evangelism efforts by condemning almost everyone in his home county http://amazinggracebaptistchurchkjv.com/gpage54.html A little Dale Carnegie course wouldn’t hurt.

In all of this Grand Master Marc is no above a little personal idolatry in the near worship of his preacher dad who he calls “The Greatest Preacher who ever lived” while making this comment: “This is the best way that I can describe it. It sounded as the “oracles of God.” It was as if God himself was speaking. Many people call Charles Haddon Spurgeon the “Prince of Preachers.” But in my humble opinion, he hasn’t got anything on my daddy.”

Sure, I love my dad too, but this is a tad on the overreach side of the house.

So there we have it, the Book and Bible Burning update, it is sad, but at the same time you have to love it…BBQ anyone?  I would bring beer but I have to hand out candy to all the neighborhood child satanists that night.

moral majority

Peace, Padre Steve+

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October 20, 2009 · 22:52

Give me that Old Time Religion: Book & Bible Burnings that Warm Your Heart…Can We Make Smores? Witch Children…Shall we Duck Them? And Can VDOT ever Clear the Crap off the Road?

I’m a Scripture, Tradition and Reason kind of Christian, pretty moderate in about everything and maybe a bit cynical about some things, however nothing warms my heart more than a good old fashioned book burning.  There is something about this tradition that makes for good fellowship on a crisp fall night. Everyone is gathered round the fire and the grand master of the congregation, sometimes referred as the “Pastor” or in some cases “Preacher Boy” exhorts his otherwise illiterate congregation to burn books which they have never read and for which in many cases cannot pronounce the author’s name, much less know anything about the books being burned.

The cool thing for the folks doing this at Amazing Grace Baptist Church in Canton North Carolina near Ashville is that they not only are burning “heretical” books, but Bibles too, I think over 10 different translations to boot…now that really adds “fuel to the fire” if you ask me.  The “Pastor” of the 14 member congregation a Marc Grizzard who seemingly appropriately is wearing bib overalls in his interview with a local television station, which coincidently is of the Devil too.  That link is here and they have a nice little video too: http://www.kbmt12.com/news/local/63968712.html

The church has a pretty good list of Bibles and authors and even musicians, of course everyone knows that musicians are all Satanists so why shouldn’t they get their stuff burned too?  Some of the Bible translations which are called by Grand Master Marc “Satan’s Bibles” include the New International Version.  Now I admit I’ve never been a fan of what I consider a pretty bland and unexciting translation, but can’t see burning them.  Likewise the New American Standard Bible, the Good News for Modern Man and a bunch of others make the list.  I’m sure that my two preferred translations have to be in the mix somewhere, the Revised Standard Version and the New Revised Standard Version.  Since these too have to be the Devil’s handiwork I will guard them with my life just in case Grand Master Marc comes up my way at 666 Lake of Fire Way.

Burning books is one thing, I would actually start with most Christian fiction, especially the Left Buttocks series if I were to start burning books, but even then I figure that maybe the Deity Herself would not approve.  Of course the Grand Master Marc being a good Scripture only kind of guy, screw that demonic tradition reason too, does find scriptural precedent for this in Acts 19: 18-20 which I quote from one of Satan’s Bibles, the New Living Translation or the NLT:

“Many who became believers confessed their sinful practices. A number of them who had been practicing sorcery brought their incantation books and burned them at a public bonfire. The value of the books was several million dollars. So the message about the Lord spread…”

Of course the passage in questions refers to recent converts who had been into sorcery in a place where this was big business and not to Bible translations, or works of popular Christian writers of their day such as Peter, Paul and Mary…wait sorry, Peter, Paul and John my bad.  Likewise the “Amazing Grace” church has identified a number of heretical authors whose works will be burned including such known betrayers of the faith as the Pope, Mother Teresa, Billy Graham and Rick Warren.  Now I wouldn’t read Rick Warren if you paid me too, well maybe I’d prostitute myself if the money was right, but still I can’t recommend burning his books.  I like the way that Billy Graham preached but was bored by his books, but still burning?  I don’t know…and Mother Teresa’s books are too small to be more than kindling.  As to burning the Pope’s books, which Pope, all of the Popes with a number after their name, or maybe those with a Latin or Italian name?  Nope, must be all of them.  Add to the mix others such as conservative stalwart James Dobson, award winning Chuck Colson, John, “no I’m not having fun” MacArthur and a host of others you get a pretty good pile of books to burn.

The church website: http://amazinggracebaptistchurchkjv.com/Download99.html is hard to reach right now because it has exceeded its bandwidth however they plan a good time including serving food for those who attend.  Since there is food can I make Smores?

The interesting thing about the good folks at Amazing Grace Baptist Church which I think is a pretty uninspired name for a church which is to say the least a bit intolerant and has been used in a really popular song that I heard Willie Nelson sing is that the are KJOVers .  In English that means King James Only Version people.  For them there is no other version in English that is the true, inspired, inerrant Bible, the King James Version 1611, or 1611 for short. I knew a Army National Guard Chaplain in Texas who once visited one of his church “shut-ins” at her home. He asked her if she would like him to read something out of the Bible to her.  She told him that only if he would read from the original language.  He was dumbfounded, he didn’t have his Greek New Testament available nor anything in Hebrew, so he said that he didn’t have it with him. The lady said “Oh I have it in my drawer.” She reached to her bedside nightstand and pulled out; you guessed it the KJV 1611.

Now I have nothing against the KJV, I even have one or two in my collection.  However it is not my language, I’m an American of the late 20th and early 21st Century.  All the doests, don’tist, thousist and shallists really killeth me.  Even in the liturgy I’m a 1979 Book of Common Prayer Rite Two kind of guy.  Rite One is a lot like the KJV and while nice I find myself stumbling all over it like I was trying to celebrate the Mass in Urdu or Pashto. It just doesn’t work for me.  If that makes me a heretic or worse I’m sorry.

However there is something I find perplexing about the KJOV crowd.  The King James Bible as it was originally published in 1611was a little different than that called the 1611 today.  First, it was translated by a bunch of Anglican scholars from the Greek and Hebrew assisted by the Latin Vulgate and Luther’s German translation.  Second, it included the books commonly referred to as the Deuterocanonicals, sometimes known as the Apocrypha.  Third the King James Version was “Authorized” not necessarily by God, but rather the Good King James of England, defender of the Faith who happened to believe that the “Faith” was that prescribed by the Church of England, not Catholics, nor Puritans and especially not Baptists was the faith to defend.  In fact the Good King James despised the forefathers and foremothers of the Grand Master Marc and the stalwart Amazing Grace Baptist Church persecuting them, jailing them and even executing them.  Of course the Defender of the Faith happened to be a flaming homosexual, not that there’s anything wrong with that.  Somehow I wonder why they wouldn’t pick a Bible that was more Baptist friendly.  Oh well, I love irony but will take my shirts to the cleaners.

Moving on to Africa where some rather extremist type Christians are trying to go back to the times of the Round Table up to the 1600s in England and Her Colonies in the “New World” aka Virginia and the Massachusetts Bay Colony by deciding children are witches and deciding the exorcise them.  I said “exorcise” and not “exercise.”  Unfortunately these folks have updated the exorcism manuals to include forcing acid down their throats.  The story is heart rending:

The nine-year-old boy lay on a bloodstained hospital sheet crawling with ants, staring blindly at the wall.

His family pastor had accused him of being a witch, and his father then tried to force acid down his throat as an exorcism. It spilled as he struggled, burning away his face and eyes. The emaciated boy barely had strength left to whisper the name of the church that had denounced him – Mount Zion Lighthouse.

A month later, he died.

Nwanaokwo Edet was one of an increasing number of children in Africa accused of witchcraft by pastors and then tortured or killed, often by family members. Pastors were involved in half of 200 cases of “witch children” reviewed by the AP, and 13 churches were named in the case files.

Some of the churches involved are renegade local branches of international franchises. Their parishioners take literally the Biblical exhortation, “Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live.” http://www.latimes.com/news/nationworld/wire/sns-ap-af-nigeria-child-witches,0,5276725.story

There is little humor in this story, it is tragic.  The fact that anyone anywhere would abuse and kill children in such a manner is abhorrent and unfortunately happens far too often.  I live about a mile from “Witchduck” road in Virginia Beach Virginia.  If you have seen Monty Python and the Holy Grail you will understand what I am talking about.  I think that if anyone is going to accuse someone of witchcraft they should be tried by the ancient tradition of the witch ducking.  I will not go as far as some to deny incidents of demonic possession but think that we need to be careful when we deal with the subject.

And lastly, is it wrong of me to think ill of the Virginia Department of Transportation, better known as VDOT? I have a number of beefs with the kind folks who manage our Interstate and State Highways.  In the nearly 6 years that I have lived here I have had to replace two windshields and 8 tires due to debris that has littered I-64 and I-264 in the Hampton Roads area.  Tonight as I pulled tire number eight off of my trusty 2001 Honda CR-V this afternoon to find a piece of metal imbedded in it I muttered a few epitaphs concerning the agency of ill-repute and leadership of questionable parentage and oedipal tendencies.  I am tempted to send Governor Tim “Eyebrows” Kaine a bill for the money that I have had to spend to buy windshields or tires.

Tomorrow I have duty and the Abbess will take my tire back to the place that I bought it to see if it is still salvageable or if I need to get a new one with a bit of credit on my road hazard warranty.

Peace,

Padre Steve+

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